Yes, we are going to talk about poop

In the very first Final Fantasy, Warmech was an enemy that could be randomly encountered on the long sky bridge preceding the fourth elemental fiend, Tiamat. Warmech was the strongest non-boss in the game, as it had a nuclear blast attack that attacked your entire party for a tremendous amount of damage, as well as health regeneration, lots of armor and strong physical damage output.

Subsequently, it rewarded you as if it were one of the elemental fiends if you defeat it, but the existence of Warmech was one-part easter egg, being a high-tech opponent in a world of fantasy, one-part completionist challenge, being such a difficult adversary, and one-part nasty surprise, because encountering one can only happen at a very inopportune time, right before another major boss fight.

It was deduced that the chances of encountering a Warmech on the sky bridge was approximately 3/64; which equates to roughly 5% of the time, but if you’re unlucky like me, you somehow manage to run into Warmech almost every time.

Anyway, there’s a sky bridge in my place of employment.

And there’s a Warmech that patrols it.

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How about Slob Shaming?

Shaming, in general is not a good thing.  Fat shaming, skinny shaming, slut shaming, handicap shaming; shaming in general is a behavior that’s pretty much frowned upon, globally speaking.  I mean, I’m not going to pretend like within the comforts of close friends and confidants, I won’t say some utterly crass and horrible things that probably succeed in shaming someone out there, in the pursuit of laughs and joking around, but when the day is over, I too would say that I frown upon shaming as a serious practice, overall.

But what if there’s a group of people that absolutely must be shamed?  A group that (hopefully) everyone can agree that, need to be called out in some capacity, to try and rectify their shameful tendency(ies) to begin with?  Would it really be considered shaming if everyone agrees that they should be shamed?

People who don’t flush toilets.  People who don’t wash their hands.

Now I obviously can’t speak for women’s restroom etiquette, but I’d wager that there are plenty of gals out there that can think of a person or persons off the top of their head that they have mentally earmarked as being a perpetual person who indulges in some less-than-acceptable sanitary practices.

I’m talking about the shaming of slobs.  Slob Shaming.

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It never fails to amaze me

I hate to talk about public restroom etiquette (again), but unordinary, and definitely unsavory habits are becoming so frequent that it’s become unavoidable.  What I believe is that civilized people over the age of like, 3-4 years old should pretty much know how to use a public restroom; it’s really not that difficult, and yet, people, specifically the ones that work in my office building, are completely incapable of adhering to them.

Now I’m sure every single male that works in a place of business with other people has plenty of stories that they have the decorum to not share with others about other men who notoriously flush before they use a urinal, and then do not flush afterward.  These people are both mental, and completely retar-actually, that would be a disservice to those people who are actually retarded, but are still capable of having the courtesy to flush the fucking toilet after they use it.  So people who do not flush the toilet after they pee are both mental and just plain stupid.

We live in modern America, and as long as we have working plumbing and modern sewage systems, every person should have the right to approach a toilet and have it be crystal clear water looking back at them.

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MARTA really is the stuff of nightmares

Typically, I don’t remember my dreams.  They’ve usually dissipated from my mind by the time I’m at the stage of my morning routine where I’m brushing my teeth, and I’m able to go on with my day as if they never happened.  So suffice to say, it’s somewhat notable (read: something to write about on a slow day) when I actually do manage to remember any of them.

Ironically, given my propensity to take shots at Atlanta’s public transit system, MARTA, it’s kind of fitting that for whatever horrendous reason it may be in my unconscious, I’ve had some recent negatively-connoted dreams where MARTA references were present.  In a way, it’s kind of funny, but at the same time I’d rather frankly not have MARTA on the mind when I’m sleeping; I’d rather be dreaming of like Taylor Swift or Karlie Kloss (or both).

But for the sake of the possibility of entertaining, and since I don’t often remember my dreams too often anyway, I figured I’d write about them.  Thinking back to them, they are kind of funny in sadistic or ironic ways.

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Oh Atlanta

I’m fairly certain that this isn’t the first time I’ve used this headline before. I’m too lazy to cross-check though, but the context is probably the same – shame. There’s also a high probability that if I have used it before, it too was probably related to one of Atlanta’s biggest embarrassments: MARTA.

Long story short: Due to the overwhelming problem of people urinating in MARTA elevators, MARTA will be wasting even more money to install “Urine Detection Devices” (UDDs) to attempt to deter people from peeing in the elevators.

Obviously, MARTA is one gigantic joke to the world, especially those of us that live in Atlanta, but honestly, I had no idea that this was even an issue. Being physically capable of using my legs, I have always utilized the stairs or the escalators, and I can honestly say that I’ve never once been inside of a MARTA elevator. But apparently, it’s among the worst experiences on the planet due to the fact that people have a tendency to use them as public urinals.

Thank goodness for physical competence.

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PSA: Even if you flush before you piss, FLUSH AFTER

This post helps if you imagine it being yelled to you by Bernie Mac (R.I.P.)

What is WRONG with you motherfuckers that can’t seem to grasp this idea?

I don’t understand men who think it’s perfectly adequate to flush the commode before or during their urination, and then walk away afterward, often times leaving a bowl full of piss behind them.  The fuck is wrong with you people?

Flush the fucking toilet after you use it.  It’s as simple as that.  It doesn’t matter if you flushed it before you used it, flush it again after you used it.  It’s not calculus, it’s not even fucking math.  It’s a simple concept of disposing of your waste for the sanitation and consideration of others.  I will never understand why there are people who can’t seem to grasp this very simple concept.

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Yes, it’s time for bathroom talk again

I don’t understand people who flush the urinal before they take a piss, but then do not flush the urinal afterward.

Not entirely, that is; it makes sense to me if the asshole prior to you left the urinal unflushed, and it’s disgusting to know that that asshole might be dehydrated or has a little too much iron in their system based on their bronze-colored urine, but I don’t understand people who flush a perfectly clean urinal before/while they piss, but then leave afterward without flushing it after they’re actually done pissing.

I’d say I don’t understand people who don’t flush urinals after they’ve pissed, but that can actually be answered by either laziness, negligence, or a hippie-like mentality to save water by being disgusting.  So it’s not really valid, because the people in question still actually flush the toilet, but choose to do so before the fact, and leave urinal in just as bad of a condition as those who don’t do it at all.

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