#TRYHARDSZN2024: Just 17??

May 2, 2024May 3, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Sós: Westlake High senior accepted into 17 colleges, amassing over $1M in combined scholarship offers

I’m convinced the only thing students are taught at Westlake High is how to apply to colleges, and once they become proficient at it, it’s all they do every day at school. Because this is the third time this #TRYHARDSZN that I’m dipping into a story about students at Westlake High who have been accepted into a large number of colleges; all of which have made sure to mention the aggregate dollar amount of scholarships they’ve been offered, which is typically the tell-tale sign that most of the schools they were accepted to aren’t really that prestigious.

But to review, we’ve had students that cleared 63 and 50 acceptances, and then one who cleared 50+, so a student “only” being accepted into 17 schools seems kind of booty in comparison, especially seeing as how in their insufferably terrible senior wall where all students humblebrag or be ashamed of how many or how little schools they’ve been accepted into, there were more than just a few that probably had 17+ acceptances posted on the wall.

However, doing the math, and clearing $1M in combined scholarships out of just 17 acceptances blows the fuck out of water compared to the other TRYHARDs of the SZN who needed 50+ schools to clear the $1M mark. Which means that she’s gotten some substantially heavier ride offers from fewer schools than her peers at CollegeApp High.

One thing that is a little different about this #TRYHARD’s story is that she actually has a pick named, and isn’t just being mum about where she’s going to go because they’re still phishing out a free ride from somewhere; and it’s of all the schools in the country, she’s picking Notre Dame.

I respect the ambition and the absolute get-the-fuck-out-of-the-hood mentality she’s taking, but I have to imagine it’s going to be a tremendous amount of culture shock going up to South Bend. Especially from southwest Atlanta, going to lily-white Indiana where the winters are going to be brutal and the number of black people is going to feel like she’s going to Norway.

But considering her successes with #TRYHARDing, she’ll probably be alright in the end. Good on this one for actually stating intent to go somewhere remotely prestigious, and not just doing it for humblebragging attention.

Who needs Vegas when you can just go to Kroger?

May 2, 2024May 3, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I wish I had the imagination to make this shit up: South Fulton Kroger under scrutiny for basically opening a slot machine area inside of the store

I don’t even know where to begin with this. It’s like a hungry lion jumping into a herd of gazelle but there are so many intriguing options that it’s hard to focus on just one, and they all get away and they go hungry, but in this case I don’t know what angle to start blabbing on about and this post is going to (already) turn into shit.

It’s funny though; I like Kroger as a company. They used to be 24 hr. mostly until the pandemic so it was convenient to go whenever, and the bottom line was always that my dollars always stretched a little further at Kroger than say, Publix. But ask anyone I know around here, and the general consensus is that Publix is a preferable grocer, because it feels cleaner and safer and more upscale in general, none of which I necessarily disagree with, but when I’m trying to stretch dollars, Kroger is still superior in that regard.

Granted, I still do the majority of my shopping at Publix, because there are literally two of them equidistant from my home and closer than the nearest Kroger and for daily needs and quick gets, time is money and distance wins out, but sometimes when I know I need to make a big trip, I’ll go out of my way and hit up Kroger, because at least where I am, they’re not as scuzzy as say, the ones in South Fulton are, which I am all too familiar with, seeing as how I lived there for 13 years.

But over the last few years, Kroger hasn’t done themselves any favors in the public eye, especially that of the one that resides over the Metro Atlanta area. I mean, prior to getting hit with the Gentrification Bomb, we had Murder Kroger in the middle of the city, where at least three murders had occurred. Then we had the Kroger in College Park that was accused of being racist for implementing a series of security vestibules that basically enclosed shoppers inside aisles to help deter theft.

And now we have a Kroger in South Fulton County that for some reason, has decided to put a miniature slot casino inside their store. Prizes are not monetary, but they’re still slot machines all the same. Like, my knee-jerk reaction is just to laugh at the sheer absurdity of such a wild idea, and just how flagrantly targeted it is at feeding into racial stereotypes and not even trying to hide it.

Like really, what the fuck business do slot machines have inside of a grocery store? Even Las Vegas has steered away from the days of having rando slot machines in every gas station, CVS and restaurant, and you can go into a Smith’s or an Albertsons to get just your groceries and not be tempted to dump the remainder of your paycheck in some crappy Wild Cherry or Double Diamond machine.

But not this Kroger, who set up a loosely partitioned-off area with a few slot machines and some sad stools for people to really post up and get comfortable for a wallet-draining slot session. And it’s at the front of the store, where it’s easy for people to come inside with the sole express of gambling away their money, instead of like Costco where they make you march all the way to the back of the store in order to get a $5 rotisserie chicken.

Kroger Casino’s spot is where you’d see some other Kroger or Kroger-affiliated stores set up like a Subway, a Starbucks, or like eye glass repair or a tax prep kiosk; random conveniences meant to make you want to spend a little more time in the store to sway you to shop more on actual profit-making products. But instead, it’s just a literal hole in the wall guarded solely by some portable plexiglass partitions with a sign on it that states one must be 18+ in order to play.

I’ve been to Krogers in the hood; maybe not this specific one, but I’ve been to some rough Krogers in South Fulton. Usually against my better judgment, but the desire to save a buck or two, or sometimes they’re just conveniently on my route. I don’t think for a minute that by the time I post this, there probably have already been at least 100 minors who have meandered into this section of the store without repercussion and drained at least $2,000 by now. The store is definitely not going to spring extra for some fat slob with a fake badge and can of pepper spray to run security for this section, and it’s clear that the intent of Kroger is knowing that they will help create young gambling addicts, and by being in existence, help pad their own bottom lines at the expense of the poor and vulnerable.

As sad as this all is, and the painfully obvious message that it’s sending, all I can do is laugh about it. It’s fucked up, but I still find it absolutely hilarious. Kroger is in the making money businesses, and there clearly no moral or ethical boundaries in place if they have an idea that can make them some, and they’re absolutely not at all concerned over the optics of choosing stores in the hood of hoods to pilot such an idea out.

Next thing we know, there will be some form of legalized prostitution brought to you by Kroger, where customers can walk up to a different loosely partitioned section of the store, scan your Kroger Plus Card, and then chat with some store employee in a blue Kroger polo shirt about wanting to get 30 minutes with Kayla, before going into a makeshift brothel like in Taken to get your jollies off.

And of course, this would pilot in Forest Park, or Covington, Georgia, because the seedier the idea, the deeper into the hood they need to be piloted in. Fresh for everyone!™

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Why no Harvard or Yale??

May 1, 2024May 3, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Nước chấm: Vietnamese teenager accepted into 14 US colleges, including three Ivy Leagues: Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth

My knee-jerk reaction to this story was to channel my inner high-expectation Asian dad voice and exclaim, why not Harvard or Yale?? Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth might be Ivies, but they’re the Ivies that people have to Google to refresh their awareness that they’re also in the Ivy League, along with Brown. Asian dads only know Harvard, Yale and Princeton, in that order, and a failure to be accepted into any of those schools, with a full ride is nothing short of colossal disappointment.

But in all seriousness, this is a TRYHARD that gives me a happy feeling. As an actual dad to half-Asian daughters, it brings me joy to read a story about an Asian girl who can TRYHARD with the best of all the TRYHARDs in the world, and get accepted into a fuckton of American schools.

Amused, I am to see that among the Ivies, she was also accepted into Northwestern, North Carolina, and of course, Georgia Tech. Perhaps there’s more to Georgia Tech’s academic pedigree than I care to give them credit for, behind my shit-colored glasses that I see them for their athletics first.

What I like about Asian news outlets is that they’re not as shy and mum about talking about money, and as a result, it’s impressive to see that among the acceptances, Dartmouth was also willing to pony up $280K for this TRYHARD’s admittance; according to Google, over four years, that could cover at least tuition, leaving her on the hook probably for just housing, food and books, which means she’ll only be responsible for $80 billion.

But in the true spirit of TRYHARD culture, this girl’s resume is pretty damn deep; a 1560 SAT, multitude of awards, accolades, self-taught English, spoken at a gifted level, and multiple independent study/research projects, as well as being a self-taught musician. This is the kind of daughter that Asian dads probably dream about.

All the same, glad to see some girls of Asian blood finally get on the board in the game of TRYHARDing. After keeping tabs on the SZN, there’ve been some patterns that seem a little too obvious, and with Ivy Day in play, it’s nice to see the American dream of DEI finally spreading the wealth a little bit in TRYHARDSZN.

A work story that made me happy

April 30, 2024May 3, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Today, I used the above wrestling gif in a work group chat thread, and it was 100% topical and relevant to the conversation that we were having.

I can’t remember the last time I felt more satisfied in my professional life.

Shoutout to the company for not putting a purchase limit on an on-sale item and not anticipating that an ambitious customer would literally purchase 600 of them and completely derail an entire promotion.

We’ve already found their eBay listing, re-selling them at a profitable price point, but there’s nothing the company can do about it, except marvel at one man’s entrepreneurial spirit.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: No better way to celebrate Ivy Day success with McD’s

April 29, 2024May 3, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

McSauce: Connecticut teenager accepted into three Ivy League schools, among “other prestigious colleges”

Honestly, the most astounding thing about this story is that this is the first #TRYHARD that I’ve come across that isn’t just white, but is also a white female. This isn’t meant to be a sexist remark, but for whatever reason, there doesn’t seem to be many stories come TRYHARDSZN that involve white people in general, much less white females.

I guess considering the demographics of the majority of TRYHARDs, we’re hitting a saturation point where suddenly white people are becoming the minority, especially when it comes to acceptances into Ivy League schools.

It’s no more prevalent than when the article tries to extol all the qualifications of why the TRYHARD deserves to get into an egregious amount of schools, there’s practically nothing. Vague on extracurriculars, no dropping names of activities she’s done, no SAT scores, no GPA listed, and the only tangible thing mentioned are the 11 AP classes she took, which honestly is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to any high schooler wanting to go to college these days.

When it comes the deluge of college applications Ivy League schools receive every applicationSZN, they’re probably all minorities; mostly Asians, no less. I bet they have people combing through all the applications and looking for obvious Hispanic and black applicants to meet their quotas, and at some point they realize just how few white applicants they’re getting, and start filtering for them in a panic, so they can be true to their claim for having diverse student bodies and populations.

Regardless, I like how this TRYHARD was waiting to get food at McDonald’s when she found out she had been accepted into Harvard, Yale and Columbia. In various places in America are some really salty Asian parents whose kids with 1500+ SATs, 4.5 GPAs and Honda Odysseys full of extracurriculars and electives whose kids won’t be getting into Harvard or Yale.

I wonder if she proceeded to get her more than likely 10 pc. McBoots and fries after finding out she was accepted into these schools, or if the excitement of acceptance made her forget about her appetite? If the former, her digestive system probably thanks her, but if not, she and her sister were undoubtedly celebrating her good news with a healthy game of Battle Shits; I hear it’s a popular game amongst white girls at Ivy League schools.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Cornell or.. China?

April 27, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Source: California teenager accepted into over 30 colleges; among them Cornell and Duke…Kunshan in China

I have to assume that after like the first 10 or so college applications, most of them are going to be for layup schools for a lot of these #TRYHARDs. Of course they go after the Ivy Leagues, the Stanfords, MITs, Hopkins’ and a surprising favoritism to Georgia Tech, but the reality is that I’m guessing most high school upper classmen can probably only name like 5-6 off the tops of their heads that they actually imagined going to themselves.

So when they apply to well into the 50s and 60, at that point, they just applying to everything under the sun and copying and pasting their essays and utilizing auto-fill in their broswers when filling out college applications for the SUNY-B-tier, UNC-G-tier and Cal-D-tier schools, and doing it for the attention they can get by amassing a large number of college acceptances.

But for this California teenager, the fact that Cornell is the first school mentioned, means that Cornell is the top school that she was accepted into, which means that she probably has at least applied to several of the other Ivy Leagues, as well as many other top-tier institutions in the country.

The fact that the article doesn’t talk about aggregate scholarship dollars earned means that she clearly swung for the fences and got a lot of impressive yeses, and it turns out that she comes from a family of tryhards:

According to Tye, Madison had the academic inspiration she needed to pursue scholar status from her brother Chandler Brown, a Harvard graduate now pursuing his doctoral degree at Stanford University. Tye, Madison’s mother Yvonne Brown, and sister Brittany Brown also have higher education degrees from acclaimed four-year universities.

Her resume is pretty impressive, and it’s commendable that she’s coming out of the ashes out of some rural rando desert town in the San Bernadino valley area, and it’s clear that #TRYHARD as she may be, she’s definitely in the upper class that actually is trying to shoot for the moon and isn’t just doing it for attention and to phish out a free ride somewhere.

But the funny thing for me is the fact that her short list is Cornell and Duke Kunshan out in China. It’s not often, and in fact, it’s not something I’ve ever heard before of anyone in America ever aspiring to go to a university outside of America. Much less to a place like China where the language barrier will be debilitating, not to mention China is super racist when it comes to black people.

The above photograph is from 2016; not 1976 or 1916, but literally within the last decade. That’s from an in-flight magazine on Air China, for all passengers to read optionally, the advice they give about steering clear from Indians, Pakistanis and black people.

I’m not even black and could realistically hide in plain sight if I were to go to Shanghai, but nowhere in China is high on my list of places I want to go visit, much less gain an education from.

I know the temptation is high, to try and break the mold of molds, by being a black American to march into China and flip the narrative, but my god would that be walking into a lion’s den of putting your life into hell.

Girl, you got an acceptance into Cornell; you know a quarter of the population of Suzhou, China probably applied to get into Cornell since it’s an Ivy, don’t be the hipster who just has to try something different. Save it for after you get your degree and have the flexibility to peace out of China at a moment’s notice when you go and realize that the place just isn’t as friendly to you as you might have thought it would’ve been.

Does a Popeyes title make Chris Jericho the Nueve?

April 26, 2024April 27, 2024 ~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Despite the appealing card on paper, I didn’t watch AEW Dynasty. Frankly, I don’t know how I’d watch it, or any true pay-per-view event anymore. I don’t have cable, so it’s not like I can call an automated system and pay over the phone. I typically refuse to download anymore apps, especially to watch a singular event, and frankly, the WWE has conditioned me over the last few years of just how convenient it is to have a singular service where I can get these events included, and it’s about as easy as it is to tune into something on Netflix or Disney+.

All the same, I was intrigued by the card, to where I took the effort to seek out results, on the same night in which it happened. Most everything happened close to how I’d have predicted it, showing that my decades of watching professional wrestling has gotten to where I barely need to watch the product to know what’s going to happen anyway. Okada over PAC, the Bucks over FTR, Ospreay over Danielson, and I figured Swerve was finally going to dethrone Samoa Joe, because you just can’t keep feeding a champion the same guy three times in a row and expect the result to just continue to be the same.

But amidst the results was one thing that caught my eye: Chris Jericho defeats Hook to become the new FTW champion.

So the question I have is, does Chris Jericho winning a Popeyes title (unsanctioned) count towards his world title count? After all, it does say “World Champion” on it and frankly, even in the ocean of championships that AEW has floating in its pool, between Hook, Jack Perry and Brian Cage, the holder of this Mickey Mouse blet has done some good work.

That being said, that would make Chris Jericho no longer the Ocho, but the Nueve; I doubt such will happen, but it is still funny to hypothesize the silly wrestling logic.

But even funnier will be the fact that despite it not being a sanctioned championship that “counts” in the AEW canon, I think it’s a safe bet that Chris Jericho is still going to elevate it to the point where it’s going to get some substantial television time and attention over a number of the men’s championships the promotion has in circulation:

Because that’s what Chris Jericho does, he elevates things, regardless of how much the fickle AEW fanbase seems to have turned on him, and are giving him the old Big Show treatment of pretending like they want him to hang up his boots. These are the same fans who will be bowing in the crowd and chanting positive things like “you’re the great-est” when he actually does hang it up, but a guy like Jericho also doesn’t care, because he understands the most important thing about working is the ability to get a reaction at all, and he’s a man who has thrived under fan hate in the past, and will undoubtedly do it again and again until he’s done.

It seems obvious that he’s basically repeating the same program he did with Cesaro Claudio Castagnoli, where he won the Ring of Honor World Championship, ducked him repeatedly and made him work to get back in contention, and then dropped the title back to Claudio, but with the title in a better place in which it started.

Chris Jericho hasn’t hidden the fact his desire to work with, and elevate young talent, and there’s no question that he’s going to accomplish such with Hook. And by the time Jericho drops the title back to Hook in 5-6 months, the Popeyes title will probably be worth more than over half of the above listed championships, because that’s just the kind of thing AEW would let happen, having a meaningless blet become more meaningful than their own prizes.