Tag: fat people

Kind of want

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Despite the fact that I generally try to eat pretty clean the vast majority of the days of the year, every now and then I still cave into the temptation of absurdly ridiculous food monstrosities.  Fried Oreos, racks of ribs, Aporkalypses, Chinese buffets, Golden Corral, etc.  Sure, I certainly wouldn’t mind dropping 25-30 lbs., but at the same time, I’m not willing to go cold turkey on the good shit of the culinary world.

That said, I’m reading about Chili’s The Boss burger, and I’m just thinking to myself, “that doesn’t look half bad,” and “I can take this.”

Now I don’t have a jihad against chain restaurants like most of the people in the world who think they’re the anti-christ of commerce.  They exist, but often times pale in comparison to the better food available at the various local or independently owned restaurants that exist all around Atlanta.  But as far as chain restaurants go, I’m actually quite fond of Chili’s, even though I’ll probably be conscious to pay with cash the next time I ever go to one.  I think they have some of the better quality ribs available at a chain, and I can’t really recall the last time I was utterly unsatisfied by an experience there.

But with the emergence of The Boss, I can’t help but feel that my next excursion to a Chili’s is bound to happen sooner rather than later.  I don’t really care about the alleged 1,650 calories and lord only knows how much saturated fat in that burger, all I know is that it looks like an adversary that I can easily defeat and relegate into my digestive system, and I want to do it.

The Boss – we’re coming for you n–

Oh, Atlanta #776

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Despite the fact that it ended up being an epic game, I’m glad I didn’t go to the National Championship.  One, it was simply too fucking expensive.  Two, with the president coming in for it, it would undoubtedly become a bigger shit show than it normally would have been.  And three, I simply fucking hate crowds.

Don’t get me wrong, I still tried to get tickets from a company give away, but with hopes of winning them, and flipping them for thousands of dollars, to which I could use to spend on some actual home improvements, that’s how much they would’ve commanded.  But I had zero intention or interest of going to the National Championship despite the fact that it featured the hometown Georgia Bulldogs and was being played in the heart of College Football Mecca, here in Atlanta.

Crowds.  Fuck that.  I absolutely loathe crowds.  I’ve been to two Wrestlemanias and have zero desire to go to another.  I’ve been to Falcons games and Braves games, and I have little motivation to go to many more without good reason.  It’s a miracle I still bother attending Dragon*Con and it’s nearly 70,000 attendees every year, although afterwards every time I go through a spell of saying I don’t want to do it again.

But the National Championship game?  Short of Virginia Tech being in it, I can’t say that I’d want to go to one, even if it were literally within walking distance.  Articles like this one justify all of the reasons why going would have been a terrible idea; from MARTA shitting the bed like expected at the extremely high volumes of attendees, from the presence of the president and the Secret Service adding 50 layers of security to an already abysmal situation, forcing people to wait literally hours outside in the dreary rainy conditions.  Without question, I my day would’ve been ruined before even getting to my seat, which for many didn’t happen until the game had already kicked off.

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APORKALYPSE NOT

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Surprise of the century, Hardee’s Aporkalypse biscuit was hardly the culinary miracle that fast food marketing attempts to make it sound like it is.  I mean, it’s not like I was expecting the greatest breakfast menu item in history, but it’s almost meme-worthy just how much this fell into the category of marketing versus reality.

Eating satisfaction-wise, it’s actually decent.  Sure, they ignored my request to put no egg on it, but since Hardee’s uses a washcloth folded into fourths and calls it an egg, it’s easy enough to remove without fear of any embryo remnants wrecking my digestive system for the afternoon.  But combining bacon, ham and sausage and drowning them in two cheeses is pretty self-explanatory when it comes to satiating a fat guy’s craving for a breakfast biscuit.

I think the biggest fallacy of Hardee’s is that they market something called the Aporkalypse, but completely fail to include all the porks that the restaurant offers.  Because adjacent to the sign on the window that boasts the Aporkalypse, there’s also a giant sign for this pork chop and gravy biscuit that they offer.  Yet the Aporkalypse boasts all this pork but completely fails to offer up a prevalently marketed pork!

Fat guy problems, yes I know.

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Going to run a train on them

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This is why I’ll never not be fat: Taco Bell preparing to unveil the Naked Chicken Chalupa on January 26, where the shell is fried chicken

My only question is, why is there no meat inside the shell???

I get that the shell itself is meat, but at this point, why not go full retard and stuff the meat shell with, more meat?  Is it a fear of combining the requisite prison-grade squirrel meat they call beef inside of a chicken exterior?  Why not fill the chicken shell with the same chopped up chicken they use to fill any of the other menu items that are filled with chicken usually?

Why are they settling for just meat on the outside when there’s plenty of room for meat on the inside as well??

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So I’m kind of dieting

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Looking through some pictures over the last year or so, I’m feeling an increasing resentment at how I’m looking in them.  Simply put, I feel like I’m looking a little more rotund than I’m typically comfortable with; and I can’t help but wonder if this is age catching up with me, or if I’ve just been letting myself let my guard down with general eating rules, or perhaps it’s a combination of both.

I’m not working out any less than I used to, and I still do a variety of weight training and cardio, and as long as I go to work, I’m also going to the gym, typically five days a week.  I’ve probably just gotten too lax with food, choosing poorly when it comes to what I’m eating, and probably eating a little too much of it, because food is awesome.

But I’m also 34 and not 24, when I shed a lot of weight, with a pretty strict diet, so I guess I should probably start watching what I’m eating again, and hope that some of the unsightly flesh on my body goes away in a few months.

Dieting isn’t really that hard to me, since it’s basically just conditioning, but getting to that point where eating choices and habits become normalized that’s somewhat aggravating to the point where it’s brog-worthy.

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I’m with the angry Italian

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Fat story made thin: Italian man angry with Emirates airlines because they’re not doing anything to dissuade his dissatisfaction with having to have sat next to a morbidly obese man on a nine-hour flight

I’m aware that this story is one that of an insufferable, apparently entitled individual, trying to cash in on a no-win situation from Emirates, but I’m also not a perfect person either.  I’m on the side of the angry Italian.

I fly a lot, as my six readers very well know.  I’ve enjoyed the luxury of the occasional surprise upgrade when I played the standby game, but way more often than naught, I’ve suffered the indignity of having to sit next to undesirable people.  And I wish it were the people with babies, or the blabber mouths, or the people that often come to mind when people think of undesirable seat neighbors.  No, I’m talking about the people who don’t know what a shower is, or had been living at the airport for days, or sometimes both.  People who try to dominate the armrests or any and as much space as they can, because they’re just that selfish or greedy.  

And then there’s the fat people.

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Player B is a greedy asshole

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Baseball legalese is a funny thing.  If a player under a contract declares retirement, they immediately forfeit the remainders of owed money on the contract.  However if a player under a contract declares that they are not physically capable of playing baseball any further, but not actually using the terminology “retirement,” then technically, the team(s) responsible for the contract are still obligated to continue paying their financial obligations.

Player A declares retirement, despite having one year and $12 million dollars left on his contract.  His team is absolved of having to pay $12 million dollars, upon finalization of retirement.

Player B holds a press conference to let the world know that he is physically incapable of playing baseball any further.  His contract has 4+ years remaining on it, at an estimated annual salary of $24 million dollars, per year.  As he has not officially declared himself retired, the contract is legally obligated to continue to be paid out until it expires or retirement is declared.

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