Is the part where you have to say goodbye.
To quote a truly dreadful program, death is certain, the hour is not.
This time was more of a blind-siding, but it doesn’t mean it sucks any less.
Things I would tweet if I did Twitter
If people spoke in the manner in which they typed, then 70% people on the internet probably sound like retards.
The mark of good text communication is the conveyance of voice.
Taking the middle urinal out of three urinals is always a dick move.
I wish more things were punishable by immediate death.
It would be awesome if remote-controlled retractable spike strips, existed to put on my far-off, preferred parking space.
Sometimes I ask myself why I like sports so much
Pretty much any sports team I like or favor in any way shape or form never wins. A sentiment that pretty much every sports fan goes through multiple times over in their lives, and even the most rational of sports fans always tell themselves that with perseverance, salvation will someday come, but even the most rational of sports fans simply get tired of the tired mantra and is entitled to a moment of weakness and necessity to vent.
I want to be upset with the officiating that pretty much just screwed Virginia Tech out of winning the Sugar Bowl, but the obvious truth of the matter is that it shouldn’t have come to that point in the first place. If Tech could have just gotten their heads out of their asses and show a little bit of patience, intelligence and killer instinct, they really should have been up 17-7 at the half, instead of down 10-6, in the most comical of ways. The defense would have resolved as it did the entire night, the annual Beamer fuck-up doesn’t even happen because being up, he’ll actually punt the ball, and Virginia Tech wins a meaningful bowl game. Granted, Danny Coale doesn’t have the statistical game of his life, but I’m pretty certain he’d rather be a winner too.
Instead, as has been the norm over the last few years, I’m left with the dejected feeling again, of having been rooting for the losers, watching Tech lose to teams like Georgia, Alabama, Stanford, Clemson, and now Michigan. I want to point and call all those teams overrated and undeserving, but the harsh truth is the fact that Virginia Tech is probably more overrated and undeserving than them all. I’ll still root for them, and I wouldn’t bet that this is the last disappointment I’ll ever have while rooting for them, but the harsh reality is that they simply cannot win a meaningful game. And the truth hurts. Again, and again, and again. Que sera, sera.
The best cough and cold remedy might be an ass-whoopin
Whenever I see the product name “Delsym,” my first thought is naturally how much it sounds like “Dhalsim.” And then I proceed to imagine that when she reaches into the cabinet, she picks up a miniature Dhalsim. And when she points the Dhalsim at the coughing guy, the outstretched arms of a perfectly timed fierce punch reach out and punch the guy every time he coughs. Within minutes, and far faster than the time it takes for a liqui-gel to kick in, the man is bruised, slightly bloodied, crying, but he is no longer coughing. And then the kid shows up on the stairs, coughing, and the wife immediately points the Dhalsim at him, and the clip is cut right before the moment of impact of Dhalsim’s fierce fists plasters the little shit.
The wife is happily contented, and enjoying her movie, with her husband and son as bloody pulps, but no longer coughing. Thanks Dhalsim!
I don’t know why I’m at work, so I’ll muse about 2011
I’m pretty sure I can count on one hand just how many people are in this office today. Granted, I’m not complaining at the fact that I’m getting paid to sit here and do absolutely no work, but man, I certainly wouldn’t have minded sleeping in this morning. But instead, I trudged out of bed at 6:30 a.m. to go run around the ‘hood in 36 degree weather, and here I sit, waiting for a few hours to pass, since I made it all the way out here already. So with that in mind, and since I’ve pretty much seen the entire work-safe internet now, I suppose it’s not a bad time to sit back and catch up on some writing. And with the end of the year literally right around the corner, why not use that as a topic?
Since I’m at the office, and don’t ever visit my own sites on the network for paranoid fear that they’ll one day find my online identity, I’m musing most of this based on what I can remember off the top of my head. But the good news is that, as a whole, I don’t think that the encapsulated 2011 year was a very bad year at all. Compared to 2010, it was a much improved year. At first blush I want to say that it wasn’t anything magnificently spectacular, but the more I think about it, I guess I can say that 2011 was a pretty decent year overall.
Continue reading “I don’t know why I’m at work, so I’ll muse about 2011”
ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
Ever since I learned of the existence of this particular meme, it’s been one of the most amusing to me. That being said, one of Jen’s cats, under Harbinger’s DIRECT CONTROL.
It may be God’s Property
But it’s still illegally parked and in the fucking way.
Saw this shit recently while I was trying to do some work. In the midst of the slow holiday period, I volunteered to do some grunt work, to look like a good team player. The company was going to haul some furniture in from their warehouses, delivered in one of their company trucks. It was cold and windy outside, even in the storage bay. But for whatever reason, God’s Property here saw it fit to illegally park, block the company truck, and deliver some shitty catering to one of the other companies in the building, while myself and several other grunt workers were forced to wait for them to emerge.
Needless to say, the time spent waiting, even the most religious of saints was cursing God’s Property for wasting all our time.