A weird dream

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I had a weird dream the other night.  In this dream, I was pursuing porn star, Bibi Jones.  And when I say “pursuing,” I mean, I was trying to talk to her, and really really hoping she was as easy as she makes herself sound, like on the Howard Stern show.

For whatever reason, we happened to be in a familiar suburban neighborhood near where I grew up in Virginia.  Later on in the dream, I was in a driveway of a house where Bibi Jones happened to be, and across the street I see none other than Bobby “The Brain” Heenan walking in his yard, picking up his morning paper.  One house down, is Ron Swanson, staring that blank and accusatory stare over in my direction, for what reason, I have no idea.

Later on in this dream, I run into two girls I’ve dated in the past, one of whom had a propensity to change her hair color pretty often.  I didn’t recognize her, but apparently Bibi Jones knew who they were and greeted them as she walked past them.  Ironically, neither of them had any idea who Bibi Jones was either.  But anyway, the one who changed her hair color often had her hair pink at the time, and both girls were dressed in obvious bridesmaids dresses.  So the girl with the pink hair reminded me of Krieger’s virtual girlfriend from Archer.

And just when the dream was getting interesting, with my current lust, and two past romantic interests, I wake up.  Figure that.

A BMW driver doing something douchey, you don’t say

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I know they’re being somewhat mindful, pulling this shit fairly away from everyone else, but seriously, four parking spaces?  And people wonder why BMW drivers have such horrible reputations, it’s shit like this that ruins it for the sane people who happen to drive BMWs that they’re unfortunately pigeon-holed as inconsiderate assholes as well.

The funny thing is that this is just a 318i convertible.  A motor of marginal potential, lodged into an overpriced and overrated name and chassis.  The 318i is the equivalent of the Gobot of BMWs.  The only thing worth any genuine value of the 318i is the fact that it has a BMW badge, and in this case, happens to be a convertible.  Otherwise, it’s just another piece of shit BMW demonstrating stupid behavior.

The scariest sound in the entire world

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Seriously, I don’t think I could ever eat another Gummi Bear in my entire life under good conscience.

What the fuck did the Gummi Bear do to you???

On another programming note: Brogging will be sporadic and likely minimal this month. There will probably be a lot of pre-written and scheduled posts. I will be once again partaking in Nanowrimo this year after a hiatus for a year. Although there will be travels and distractions, I will strive to reach my 50,000 word mark again this year. If you’re interested in being “buddies,” I simply go under the name “cyberlobster.”

Creepily personal advertising

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The other day, I got this envelope in the mail.  It was addressed to me in actual handwriting, in a nondescript plain white standard 5×3 envelope.  At first, I thought it might have been another wedding invitation, or maybe a card or something from the past, two of the only things that I could really warrant receiving mail from.  There was no return address anywhere on the envelope either, so for a fleeting moment, I thought maybe it was full of anthrax or something too.

Inside the envelope was a folded piece of newspaper, and a post-it note with some fairly illegible cursive writing, signed off “-J” at the very end.  I figured the newspaper must have been concealing something, acting as a wrapper for something else, maybe a card or a ticket, or something.  But it turns out that there’s nothing at all.  It was just a sheet of newsprint.

I took another stab at reading the post-it note, and realized it said “up to $3,500 for your trade-in!”  And then I took another look at the actual newsprint itself, and it coincidentally a page for a Toyota dealership in the Atlanta area.  It then dawned on me that this whole elaborate ruse was nothing but a creepily personalized advertisement, meant to fool me into thinking that an acquaintance really wants me to look at a Toyota.

Continue reading “Creepily personal advertising” →

Photos: Halloween Parties

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Ahh, Halloween.  The time of year where everyone can dress like complete weirdos, and it be completely acceptable.  This year saw two costume parties, where my camera made cameos at, one being a pleasant house party courtesy of Bunny and Sean, and the other being the Scoutmob-sponsored party at the Goat Farm.

Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of myself dressed as WCW United States champion La Parka at Bunny and Sean’s, but there are plenty of pictures of myself having the big gay adventures of Fisto at the Goat Farm.

Much appreciation to Bunny and Sean’s hospitality and the pleasant time at their abode.  Scoutmob can suck a fat one for having a relatively poorly planned event, and not even the included-in-the-cost-of-admission beer and wine (wine, seriously?) could change the fact that it was like 48 degrees that night, and I’m in a costume bare-armed and legged.  Sorta related, I have to admit, it was kind of interesting being objectified for once in my life as the furry brief-wearing Masters of the Universe character, receiving my share of heckled cat-calls from drunk chicks.  The Goat Farm party was okay once I got loaded, but damn if it was far from perfect, and very volatile for genuine sucking.

Continue reading “Photos: Halloween Parties” →

Maryland Fail: This much clarification is needed

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

My criticism of Maryland (drivers) is often dismissed, because I’m a Virginia native; we’re expected to be critical of all things Maryland, as they are supposed to be towards those from Virginia.  But seriously, when I say Maryland drivers are godawful, I mean that they seriously are godawful.  No awareness of their surroundings, an inability to utilize turn signals, and overall a constant threats to be around whilst on the road.

The fact that Maryland drivers need this much clarification to understand a red light speaks volumes.  Apparently, far too often, a Maryland driver has decided to not acknowledge the signal in front of them, and deem the green light for adjacent traffic to be sufficient enough to be the green light for them.  And probably gotten away with it, because Maryland is full of fucking idiots, to where obvious signs like this are necessitated in order to create disclosure.