Tag: television

Looks like someone should’ve watched some more Dual Survival

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: Chef dies after decapitated cobra head bites his hand.

One of the many field skills that I retained that will in all likelihood never apply to me from watching Dual Survival, is the knowledge that the heads of decapitated venomous snakes are capable of biting down and injecting venom, for a long period of time after beheading.

Sounds like Chef Peng Fan wasn’t so aware of this knowledge.

Think about how much it sucks to have chopped a snake’s head off, which for all intents and purposes has killed the unfortunate reptile.  But then while consolidating all its guts and skin and whatever discarded parts, preparing to toss it into the waste bin, chef’s hand gets a little too close to the severed head, and by sheer force of reflex, it snaps down and injects lethal venom into him.

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Forcing terminology: A Bundy

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I’ve decided to start referring to good things happening in fours as “a Bundy.”  As in Al Bundy scoring four touchdowns in a single game.  Sure, the meaning behind four touchdowns in a single game has been somewhat diluted and turned into something of a joke thanks to seasons of Married… With Children, but the fact of the matter is that four touchdowns in a single game is an extraordinarily difficult task to accomplish.

Looking at the list of all-time single game records in the NFL (before it turned to shit), there are literally a single handful of guys who have managed to score five touchdowns in a single game, and slightly more guys who have managed to score four touchdowns in a single game.

Bundys.

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Best of the 2014 World Cup?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Man, it’s been over a day since the humiliating demoralization of Brazil has occurred, and I still can’t get enough of seeing all the clips, gifs and photographs of miserable crying Brazilians everywhere.  It never fails to bring me to a degree of laughter, and I know that this is going to be one of those things that I hold on to longer than most others, and will be able to derive enjoyment from it for a long time.

Regardless, to be perfectly honest, I can’t say that I really care about what happens from here on, as far as the World Cup is concerned.  My nationalistic reasons for watching with vested interest were dashed when South Korea jobbed like Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell getting squashed by Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire, and then the United States losing to Belgium like they were the 2004 Lakers.  I’m cool with Germany, since I’ve admired the way they play and go about their business, but really I couldn’t care less if they win it all or not.

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Jobbers of Cosplay

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job•ber.  n. – performer whose sole purpose is to lose with the express purpose of making their competitors look superior.  See professional wrestling terminology.

Despite the fact that jobbers are undoubtedly important in the world of wrestling, as well as all other applications in which jobbers can be utilized, the bottom line is that nobody really wants to be a jobber.  Sure, jobbers are still granted exposure, experience, and in many cases actually still paid, but when the day is done, they’re portrayed as losers.  Especially at younger ages, nobody wants to be losers.

I watch Heroes of Cosplay.  This shouldn’t be much of a surprise given the fact that I still go to occasional conventions, and take hundreds of pictures of people in costumes.  I also know most of the Atlanta cast, but that doesn’t influence my opinions of the show or how I feel about the things they say on television, or the things that are depicted as realities that I might question.  Also, it’s not like any of them probably actually visit my brog unless there’s a chance that I might have a picture(s) of them.

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I wonder what’s going to happen to ISIS on Archer?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about the situation in Iraq; how coincidentally after U.S. troops have been gradually withdrawn from the country, an Islamic extremist group has emerged and is taking over territories with threats that they’re going to take over Baghdad soon.  A real Charlie Wilson’s War kind of story, where American presence leaves, and shit hits the fan, or something like that.

Naturally, there are large contingents of people quickly blaming Obama for it, because it’s just so easy to blame Obama for everything wrong with the entire world much less the United States, but, if I may get political for one rare second, I don’t.  I don’t blame Obama, I don’t blame Republicans, nor do I blame Democrats or anything.  This is just one of those scenarios, where, and I help but feel that I can’t be the only one who feels this way, is to simply think “fuck Iraq, let them deal with their own bullshit.”

I mean seriously, it’s a country, a region that’s beyond trying to help, and I’m long past thinking that it shouldn’t be America’s responsibility to try and rehabilitate an entire country that simply does not want to be changed from what they are.  Changing them just garners more resentment and more resistance, and it escalates into more and more violence and death.

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My Five Wives Power Rankings

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Since it’s no secret that I have a fascination with the litany of train wreck programming shown on TLC, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I’ve also been tuning into the latest people-watching debacle on the network, My Five Wives. This doesn’t mean that I support polygamy or anything in the least bit, but I do find it interesting to watch the fabricated lives of supposed real-life polygamists.

Personally, polygamy isn’t for me, because I find some of the backstory to Fundamentalist Mormonism somewhat disagreeable, with hints of greed and narcissism between the lines, loosely entwined with religion to make it taboo to argue against. Either way, it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a show that exploits the lives of a modern polygamist family.

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Revised Total Divas logo

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Piggybacking onto the opinion I had that John Cena was the biggest diva of WWE’s reality television show, Total Divas, I was watching the start of the new season, and during a segment of the show that was focusing on Cena, I had this overwhelming desire to recreate the show’s logo; but modified to do what the show has pretty much done throughout its entire course – focus on John Cena.

I’m going to attach a vector PDF of this file right here, and it’s my dream that many of the vast WWE universe, especially of the troll-like variety that loves to attend live events and control the fan reaction with clever chants and ironic cheering or booing for guys that creative had not intended to be getting such reactions, finds this artwork, and utilizes it to its maximum capacity.

Not gonna lie, I would die laughing if I ever saw this logo on a sign at a live event, especially if it’s someone close to ringside, where Cena himself might even see it.