Tag: advertising

Furiously excited for more Fast logos

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Among some of my guiltiest of guilty pleasures is my general love for The Fast and the Furious film franchise. I mean, when I was a wannabe car tuner who thought everything JDM was god-like, and wanted to do a laundry list of things to the cars that I’ve driven, I watched the first film with that “it’s going to suck, but I’m going to watch it, so I can criticize everything wrong with it,” oblivious to the irony that I was forking over my money to feed the machine regardless.

Eventually, the arrogance and false sense of superiority dissipated AKA I began to grow up, and it turned out that I actually enjoyed these terrible films. Yes, I enjoy them, but there’s little denying the fact that they’re really campy, over-the-top films. My mom would watch it and call it an “엉터리 movie,” which translated literally means “nonsense.” Whatever though, I still enjoy them, and I can admit that I have seen every single one.

Needless to say, I was amused by the announcement by Vin Diesel who used social media to drop the news that not only is the FF franchise continuing for an eighth installment, but there are plans to have a ninth, and a tenth installment of the story, so that the franchise can literally boast ten films in twenty years. Also amusing are their tentative April release dates, so I can probably pull out the birthday card and force mythical girlfriend to go see them with me. hue hue.

Continue reading “Furiously excited for more Fast logos” →

The day Storage Wars jumped the shark

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I know, it’s very easy to accuse Storage Wars of jumping the shark at numerous other locations, but hear me out.  The show’s undoubtedly campy, and sure there’s at least five different instances where a former show member, or an A&E person, or someone else loosely associated with the show has talked about how fake it is, and how doctored the lockers are, and how there are so many planted items in them.  But I don’t care, I still liked the show, and it was always a great way to kill 22 minutes at a time.

The show then hit a massive speed bump when it became apparent that for whatever reason, show member, Barry Weiss was leaving the fold.  The writing was kind of on the wall at that point, and the show was already beginning to become unraveled with the firing of Dave Hester, and the constant incorporation of other “buyers” like Nabila Haniss, the fat German guy with the dumb-as-a-brick wife with huge tits, and Ivy Calvin, with Barry becoming absent from time to time.  And the season finale episode that was a clear eulogy to Barry’s time on the show had me wondering if the show was ever going to come back, at all.

Continue reading “The day Storage Wars jumped the shark” →

When you look at it real fast

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was running on the treadmill when I saw this commercial out of the corner of my eye.  Now I know that it says “play hooky at Hooters,” but when I looked at it really fast, the K in “hooky” merges with Hooters, and suddenly it basically says “Play with Hookers.”

It’s hard to say whether or not this was on accident, as given the nature of the tastefully tacky restaurant franchise, they’re definitely not above going low-brow and subliminal in order to stay remembered.  After all, this is the same company that plastered the phrase “THE BIG D” repeatedly when simply referring to the city of Denver, during some promotion where the winner would get a trip to Denver.

Either way, I thought it was funny.  Playing with hookers, or just going to Hooters, both seem like a good time.  Ultimately, this makes me kind of depressed when Hooters had a supposed opening for a graphic designer position that I would have done anything to get, but it was right before the company went into financial straits, declared Chapter 11, and had a hiring freeze.  Seriously, I would have given up a kidney or some other drastic sacrifice to have gotten a job with fucking Hooters corporate.

Where will the chain-hating madness end??

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was reading this article about how the Red Lobster brand is being considered to be sold off of or restructured into a bastardized spin-off of its former shell by parent company Darden, and I couldn’t help but feel a little melancholy over the notion that Red Lobster in one way shape or form, is dying.  One, I love lobsters, two, Red Lobster’s periodic endless shrimp offer is among the best things in the world, and three, it should be nothing new for my six readers that I’m a nostalgic kind of person who sure, understands the necessity of change, but at the same time isn’t always the most readily accepting of it.

But the point of me writing this post is questioning the modern defiant trend of people who try their hardest to avoid eating at chain restaurants, like a Red Lobster, Chili’s, Ruby Tuesday or Olive Garden.  Even the article alludes to this notion:

It seems that consumers are turning their noses up at hoity-toity sit-down places like Red Lobster and Olive Garden these days in favor of cheaper chains like Chipotle.

Continue reading “Where will the chain-hating madness end??” →

Man, What A Stupid Commercial #012

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s not so much really stupid as it is ironically funny, which in the end makes it kind of stupid.

Summary: Rookie police officer hops into shotgun with superior officer, bringing a new KFC “Go Cup,” which contains fried chicken strips and potato wedges. Rookie officer is a young white male, commanding officer is rotund black male. Commanding officer looks with envy at the rookie officer’s snack. Suddenly the dispatch radio is announcing a 10-31, which is police code for crime in progress. Commanding officer eyes the rookie cop, and gives him his best “go get ’em, tiger,” and the rookie books it out of the car to go investigate. With the rookie cop now gone, the commanding officer leisurely helps himself to the abandoned chicken – cue beauty shots and call outs.

Continue reading “Man, What A Stupid Commercial #012” →

Man, What A Stupid Commercial #010

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Synopsis: in a game between the Heat and the Thunder, Kevin Durant is slashing through the lane, and is thinking about throwing down a boomshakalaka. Amidst his drive, Dwyane Wade breaks off his cover to challenge Durant, and when Durant takes off, he is met with a Mutombo-like rejection at the rim. Instantaneously, Kevin Durant snaps awake because IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM.

But the dream was real enough to inspire Kevin Durant to embark on a Gatorade-sponsored training montage, where he does every single lift and exercise he possibly can do, while pounding Gatorade products in between.

Eventually, an actual Heat/Thunder game is taking place, and there’s two minutes left, and the Heat are up by two. Kevin Durant has the ball and is bringing it up the court, and is thinking about rectifying a dreamed reality. He cuts and slashes into the lane, and is thinking boomshakalaka. Dwyane Wade sees what’s going on, and breaks off his man, and goes to challenge Durant. Both men go up, but this time, all the Gatorade-sponsored training has paid off, and Kevin Durant takes Dwyane Wade to poster city.

But then Dwyane Wade snaps awake because THAT WAS JUST A DREAM TOO.

Continue reading “Man, What A Stupid Commercial #010” →

Man, What A Stupid Commercial #006

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I have to admit, that after this commercial aired, I was kind of surprised. It was without question, the poorest quality animation that I’d ever seen aired on national television, and I couldn’t really believe that someone out there paid the money to both produce such a putrid animation, as well as actually pay whatever money it took to get it to air nationally.

No seriously, this looks like one of those flash animation generators where random people can write a basic dialogue script, and then it generates a crappy flash video where all the voices are Steve voice, and people think are funny. Except worse. I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen better animation on public access television.

Continue reading “Man, What A Stupid Commercial #006” →