All throughout the summer, I’ve seen shirts that look pretty much just like this. Give or take the color; base it on a school, sports team, or just douchebag neon colors, all summer long, it’s been Nike shirts that have absolutely nothing on them but a couple of words in Futura Bold variant, AKA The Watchmen font, and a swoosh.
BRAVES BASEBALL. swoosh
PHILLIES BASEBALL. swoosh
NATIONALS BASEBALL. swoosh
BLACKSBURG. swoosh
KANSAS CITY KNOWS. swoosh
PACKERS JUST DO IT. swoosh
FAST IS FASTER. swoosh
and of course
JUST DO IT. swoosh
What the fuck does half of this stuff even mean? What purpose does it serve? If “fast is faster,” than what is the new word for “fast?” EXPEDIENT IS NOW FAST. swoosh
I like how the MLB line of shirts actually have to say “baseball” after the team’s name; sure, in some cases like the Giants, there could be disambiguation, but if the team’s branding is successful, the colors alone should easily separate the baseball team from the football team. But come on, there aren’t any other Diamondbacks, Brewers, Yankees, Red Sox, Padres or Athletics in any other sport. Yet, I’ve seen these shirts all the way from San Francisco to Baltimore this season.
It’s amazing just how little Nike has to try these days, and people still go pick up their apparel like it was shat out by the gods themselves. The best part is that any one of these shirts that literally have nothing but words and a tiny swoosh on them, range anywhere from $17-35 on Nike’s website, based on what sport is currently in season. That being said, any of the NFL team “___ KNOWS” or “____ JUST DO IT” shirts are currently on the spectrum of $35 right now, which is completely flabbergasting.
It’s just fucking text, people, why the fuck are so many people slaves to brands? I simply just do not get it. I can’t really be mad at Nike’s absolute utter lack of creativity, and should really applaud them for literally pushing the boundaries of how little effort they have to exert in order for people to still pay egregious prices for their slave-labor swill.
It’s a shame they didn’t push the boundaries just a little bit further this summer, and pretty much flat out insult the wearer of their shirts. I would probably shit myself if I ever saw someone voluntarily wearing a shirt that read:
