Month: April 2014

Proximity lols

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: Porsche is preparing to open their new North American headquarters in Atlanta.

However, it’s actually in Hapeville, a sub-city known for high crime and with the reputation of being somewhat “urban,” which is the politically correct code word for “it’s a ghetto.”

I get why they say it’s in Atlanta, and in all fairness, Hapeville falls into that umbrella that would be “Metro Atlanta.”  Technically, I don’t live within Atlanta proper, and my home mailing address does not say Atlanta, but I’m also still a part of the Metro Atlanta region.  After all, whenever I get jury duty every three fucking months, I have to report into the city of Atlanta.  This is obviously a common practice, because Atlanta is a fairly well known city, and for the sake of simplicity, people and businesses slap that nametag association because it’s just easier, than having to explain where places like Chamblee, Forest Park, Union City and Doraville are.

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I can’t stop watching this

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Source: Normally, I’m not that big on the “content” that comes from Deadspin, much less any other Gawker website, but I’ll be the very first to admit that they most certainly caught lightning in a bottle with this gem. The gif of the Phillies fans from a night ago is one thing, but the folks at Deadspin put together a truly epic video complete with accentuating slow-mo and music that is definitely worth giving them a click and a view to see.

Long story short, Monday’s Braves vs. Phillies game started off as more or less a snoozer, aside from the Braves’ Ervin Santana striking out eleven Phillies players. But in the 8th inning, someone turned the Game Genie on, and then the Braves and Phillies combined for four home runs, with the score going from 2-1 to 5-1, and then 6-5 after the Phillies got done with their turn at bat. Needless to say, it appeared to be turning into one of those disheartening losses for the Braves where they let the hapless Phillies off the hook.

Fortunately, because the Phillies are the Phillies, and they’re so good at fucking things up, they well, fucked things up. So with just three outs to get in the top of the 9th to secure the win, they naturally load the bases, and set things up for the Braves’ Dan Uggla.

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Francoeu’wned

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: baseball player Jeff Francoeur is fooled by his teammates into believing that a fellow teammate was deaf.  For an entire month.

Now I doubt any who follows my brog is really aware of this, but when I used to be a writer for Talking Chop, and an active member of the community, I had a 15-second glimpse of internet notoriety when I had made a t-shirt in “honor” of Jeff Francoeur, where I took the generic composition of a player jersey t-shirt (aka “the shirsey”) and replaced “Francoeur” with “Failcoeur.”  I was dumb(er) and immature (then), and let the nerdy, results-driven frustration of an overly passionate baseball fan take the driver’s seat in that period of time which gave birth to the concept and execution of the design, despite the fact that it was coming at someone else’s expense.

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In regards to the Warrior Dash

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the weekend, I embarked on my first-ever Warrior Dash. I’m by no means a veteran of the obstacle/mud course scene, but from what I understand the perception of the Warrior Dash is that it’s the novice or entry-level obstacle course of the supposed big three franchises, between it, the Spartan Race and Tough Mudder.

I haven’t had the ambition to run in Tough Mudder yet, but I have now done two Spartan Races, and if I had to make a comparison, Warrior Dash was definitely, noticeably easier than the Spartan Race. That does not mean I did not enjoy it, or regret doing it by any stretch of the imagination, but when the day was over, it was kind of a no-brainer that Warrior was not as difficult as Spartan. I’m not even sore anywhere, a day after doing it.

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It never fails to amaze me

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I hate to talk about public restroom etiquette (again), but unordinary, and definitely unsavory habits are becoming so frequent that it’s become unavoidable.  What I believe is that civilized people over the age of like, 3-4 years old should pretty much know how to use a public restroom; it’s really not that difficult, and yet, people, specifically the ones that work in my office building, are completely incapable of adhering to them.

Now I’m sure every single male that works in a place of business with other people has plenty of stories that they have the decorum to not share with others about other men who notoriously flush before they use a urinal, and then do not flush afterward.  These people are both mental, and completely retar-actually, that would be a disservice to those people who are actually retarded, but are still capable of having the courtesy to flush the fucking toilet after they use it.  So people who do not flush the toilet after they pee are both mental and just plain stupid.

We live in modern America, and as long as we have working plumbing and modern sewage systems, every person should have the right to approach a toilet and have it be crystal clear water looking back at them.

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Ultimate reminiscing

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Throughout my life and all the years that I’ve been brogging, I’ve named many wrestlers, and declared them among my favorites.  CM Punk, Chris Benoit, the Big Boss Man, etc, etc.  It’s not due to the unfortunate recent event of his passing, but I can truthfully say without any hesitation that my first ever favorite wrestler was the Ultimate Warrior.

I always picked Ultimate Warrior (and Honky Tonk Man) when playing the 1989 arcade WWF Superstars.

When I was eight-years old, I once went to school with rubberbands around my non-existent prepubescent triceps with twist-ties draped off of them and declared myself the Ultimate Warrior.  My teacher made me take them off because she believed that they were cutting off circulation in my arms.

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LeBrowned

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I didn’t even know that Mason Plumlee made it to the NBA. I figured he would be like most of the white basketball players that went to Duke, and ride out their college careers because they probably wouldn’t be good enough to make it in the NBA. I figured he’d be like Greg Paulus, Steve Wojciechowski or Brian Zoubek or something, and simply not be good enough to make it in the pros.

While running on the treadmill and watching Hannah Storm on ESPN, during a commercial break my eyes wandered down onto the ticker where I saw mention of the Brooklyn Nets beating the Miami Heat, thus sweeping the entire regular season series of head-to-head games against the sissies from South Beach. But then a quick blurb followed that stated that the game ended when “Plumlee blocked James from making go-ahead dunk with 1.2 seconds left,” and then my brow furrowed and I was quickly puzzled to the notion that any Plumlee was actually in the NBA.

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