If it were only that simple: Dutch man petitions to legally rewind his age back twenty years, because he feels twenty years younger than he actually is

This is a story where I can’t believe that I’ve never thought of someone attempting before – legally attempting to rewind their age.  Sure, there are tons of people out in the world that love to fudge their ages by anywhere from 1-5 years, but to claim twenty?  And to attempt to make it legally binding?  That’s some outside the box thinking if I’ve ever heard of it.

One of the funny things about it is that the guy basically just wants to be able to declare himself 49 and not 69, but nothing’s going to change the fact that he was born in 1949 and not 1969.  But he just wants to be able to legally declare himself 49 as of now instead of 69, as if it were really that simple to change history with a piece of paper.

The other funny thing about the whole story is that the real impetus behind this desire, is so that the guy who already has seven bastard children really wants the younger age to help him on his quest to get hits on Tinder, where he’s hoping to possibly knock up other women to sire more kids in this already crowded planet.

It’s all a gasser, because the guy wants to basically validate a lie, but openly, honestly, and in plain sight, so that he can be a degenerate Dutch Shawn Kemp and have a bunch of kids with a bunch of random women.  Obviously, this is probably a plight that will inevitably fail, because the date of birth isn’t something that can historically be altered, short of the invention of a time machine or time traveling witchcraft.

But kudos to some real outside the box thinking, all so he can really just go out and get his dick wet.  A part of me hopes this is allowed to pass, so when he’s like 52 but actually 72, and his body really begins deteriorating to the manner that a legitimate 72 year old should be dealing with, he’ll be boned by his own want to bone, and fall short of retirement and pension, and when he croaks at 53/73, he’ll have nothing to bequeath onto his stable of bastard kids.

That’ll learn this horny Dutchman.  In this day and age, there’s a fuck to be had for absolutely everyone who wants one, as long as they’re savvy and/or willing to be resourceful.  Or desperate.