I never wanted to care about politics in my life really.  For the longest time, I remained ambivalent as possible about them, and I didn’t vote in the first three elections I was eligible to have voted in.  Looking back, I have regret for not doing such because I’ve learned just how important they can be, and the symbolic right and privilege we have in being able to do so.

Naturally, and I surmise it’s a natural progression of aging, I’ve become more woke and attuned to politics, and I try to give somewhat of a shit in regards to the systems that run the country we live in.  It would be somewhat accurate to state that I’ve grown to care, somewhat about politics, much to my dismay.

That being said, I’m finding that myself, along with hundreds of thousands of Americans, are dealing with election paralysis – immense struggles at being able to focus on anything or want to do anything, while the election is still unresolved, and awaiting for something to happen, which will put an end to the election and let everyone collectively exhale and move forward, with knowing who will be leading the way.

Like seriously, I’ve spent the last two nights doing little during my free time other than watching various news outlets and trying to keep abreast of election news, as if the declaration of the presidency of the United States is going to directly impact my life, immediately.  Ultimately, this underscores the fact that I, like many, perceive this particular election to be of the utmost importance, and I’m finding myself caring about it more than I would have ever imagined myself caring about an election.

And while the election remains in flux, I’m finding myself incapable of doing anything else, because I seem to care so much about impending news and information that I can’t focus.  I couldn’t find the motivation to write over the last two days because my eyes were glued to the news.  I didn’t watch wrestling despite being available to do so.  I didn’t scour the internet for money making schemes.

I feel like I’m being held captive by my want to know how the election is going to turn out and it’s kind of sad because I used to not give two shits about any election and now I can’t do anything because I’m vested and want to know.  The only reason this post is coming to fruition is mostly based on the fact that just about everyone I work with is in the same boat, nobody’s working, because everyone is so engrossed in what could be happening in the voting chambers of 3-5 key remaining states that have not called yet.

I get it though.  I eagerly want to know what’s going to happen too.  But I do know that big picture, it’s better for the results of the election to take longer if they’re going to be right and true, rather than know that it’s rushed, and ends up rigged or have a billion valid votes thrown out, and then we as a country are stuck for another four years with an agitated baked potato leading the way.

I just want to relax and not feel like I have to care so much about this shit anymore, and get back to watching wrestling, 90 Day Fiancé, and The Mandalorian.