Apparently this is news from six years ago which goes to show just how out of touch I can get with the rest of the world, but supposedly Japan has developed robotic tails for the elderly to equip in order to help them with balance.  For whatever reason, this just started popping up in my socials recently, leading me to get that spark of inspiration because when I saw the, what I’m guessing were AI-generated images, all I could think of was how much they looked like DragonZord’s tail from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

And how I too would really like to have a DragonZord tail too; not just for something to help me maintain my own balance, but the obvious desire to be able to rear back and whip the sparks out of any motherfuckers who cross me, or try to take over the Earth on my watch.

I mean, anyone who’s ever watched as much Power Rangers as I did probably knows that despite how cool it looked or the idea of the DragonZord tail whip is, the fact of the matter is that it was really often times portrayed as an extremely ineffective attack.  It’s like short of the debut of DragonZord, where it would whip the shit out of Tyrannosaurus or MegaZord when it was being controlled by Evil Tommy, once on the side of good, DragonZord and its tail whip were nerfed into oblivion.  Either Goldar or bad guy of the day would duck it easily, or they would just tank the hit for no damage; and so often times was the case, an opp would just grab the tail and use it to pick up DragonZord and swing it into a nearby building or mountain range.

But I don’t care, if a DragonZord tail were made available to the people, I for one would still like to have one.  I’m sure as I continue to age, my balance will worsen, as I’m seeing is the case with my own dad, and it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world to get ahead of the degradation and go ahead and start equipping my own DragonZord tail.  Being able to whip motherfuckers with it would only be a bonus, and if it would be possible to get a drill-tip upgrade like DragonZord, I think it goes without saying that I’d have to have it, because you just never know when you really could use the ability to drill a hole into something, in a clean fashion, and not have to resort to some makeshift spike or some unsymmetrical blade in order to do so.

Anyway, for all the nonsensical and useless shit Japan makes to solve even the most first world of first world problem minutiae, I will concede that creating DragonZord tails definitely sounds like a real W of an invention, and I would very much like to have one pls.