Today, I learned about the existence of what is called the Paleo Diet. Long story short, it’s a fad diet revolving around exclusively eating the following:
the “contemporary” Paleolithic diet consists mainly of fish, grass-fed pasture raised meats, eggs, vegetables, fruit, fungi, roots, and nuts, and excludes grains, legumes, dairy products, potatoes, refined salt, refined sugar, and processed oils.
Despite the fact that the whole rationale is that you’d be eating like a caveman since that’s the kind of shit that cavemen were eating, in human, non-moonspeak, it’s a diet revolving around eating healthy food.
Figure that: eat healthy food and your health improves.
Just like every other fucking fad diet on the planet.
BRILLIANT!
Are people really this stupid, lazy, undisciplined and naïve to require so many adjectives and gimmicks attached to pursuing a healthier lifestyle? Is the word “diet” so scary and intimidating on its own that people have to attach descriptors and subtitles to them in order for people to try them, despite the fact that all of them simply revolve around altering your diet BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY DO SOME FUCKING EXERCISE?
The Paleo Diet is a really funny name for a diet, honestly though. The whole basis is that if people on the paleo diet eat what a Neanderthal ate in its time, we can become rugged, caveman-strong by doing such. Because there was no such thing as an out of shape caveman, right?
I think there is so much wrong with the concept of the paleo diet, because it’s under the assumption that if a caveman were discovered, thawed out, dropped into modern society and told not to kill, hunt or rape other people, they would go on, living their life as if it were the Paleolithic times again. There is no fucking chance in hell that that happens.
The reason cavemen were so strong and in shape is because life forced them to be such. They had to live their lives in fear of getting trampled by like wooly mammoths or hunted down by saber tooth tigers and velociraptors (yes I fucking know the theories of how dinosaurs and man never overlapped but raptors are always relevant) that eating was so much about enjoyment as much as it was necessity for survival. Basically, cavemen ate what they could, when they could, because there was no guarantee that there would be a next meal. There was no guarantee of how big or how small the next meal was going to be, and since the planet was a barren wasteland then, it’s safe to assume that it was going to be small or really small.
I guarantee that if Dr. Who or Bill and Ted went back in time, and opened up a McDonalds, that McDonalds would integrate itself into the everyday lives of cavemen, thus altering the current reality of what the paleo diet is today. People now would be declaring themselves on the paleo diet, and then pouring into McDonalds and stuffing their faces worse than they are doing prior, and because there was no fear of getting trampled or eaten to keep them in constant motion, they would just get fat and even more useless. And then the paleo diet hits the shelves to collect dust as another failed diet along with shit like the South Beach Diet or any other fad diet that doesn’t really work without fucking exercise.
The point is, the real paleo diet was probably a very sparse amount of food, with a massive amount of exercise. Who cares what they actually ate in the Stone Age, because it wasn’t a substantial amount of calories, and it would all be ultimately be burned off by the act of running from larger creatures, or hunting and killing them themselves.
People in today’s society on the paleo diet are delusional if they think that eating natural, organic foods like a caveman in modern portion sizes, and without any substantial or strenuous exercise involved is actually going to get them anywhere.
Losing weight and improving fitness is a two-step process: a healthier diet and lots of exercise. There is no success with just one step being made. Look at me; I know I’m not exactly the best person to look to for any fitness advice, because I really, really love food and indulge myself more often than a healthier person normally would. But I also exercise like a fiend, frequently and regularly, which is the only thing that’s keeping me from being 346 pounds, in spite of my occasional indulgences.
The sooner lazy, unmotivated sacks of human wastes of space realize this two-step process, they can waste their time and money on all sorts of fad diets and stupid ideas, it’s not going to go anywhere at all without sweat and exercise.
