Mythical wife and I recently went on an adults-only vacation, probably the first one since well, we had children. Sure, we’ve had a quick jaunt away here or there, but nothing like a four-night cruise on an adults-only line, where we had no real objective other than the pursuit of relaxation and feeling not just like parents.
So let’s get it out of the way now, yes, which meant that we were Virgin virgins, as we had never cruised with Virgin Cruises before. We’d both heard lots of good things about them, and it seemed as good of an endeavor to embark on before mythical wife has to start preparing for the next school year.
It was kind of weird preparing and embarking on this trip, seeing as how like I’d said, we’d never really had such time away from the kids under these circumstances. We got to fly somewhere instead of driving because the cost of two adults is way more feasible than flying five humans, where none of them are lap-rider eligible (read: free) anymore, and we had nothing but carry-ons instead of the maximum baggage allowance allowed to travel with.
I got to enjoy a legit Cuban sandwich and coffee in downtown Miami before we departed which is definitely worth mentioning considering how neither seems to be capable of existing outside of Miami and presumably, Cuba itself, but from the very start, Virgin Cruise Line seemed to be a breath of fresh air compared to other experiences we’ve had cruising in the past.
As all sorts of identification, passports, and documentation are logged in advance of travel, we basically show up to port at a general assigned time, and then we’re through in a jiffy with minimal waiting. There was little feeling like cattle, slowly moving through the pen before we’re on the ship, and we go straight to our stateroom, where a nifty tablet is waiting that controls everything, and fresh canisters of water, as if they know the process of embarkation can be a pain in the ass and it’s important to replenish the hydration of being in South Florida.
Admittedly, I had some concerns and thought that it would temper my enthusiasm when doing some recon prior to the trip, because there were some things about the branding, the presentation and general vibe I was getting, that Virgin Cruises might be a little on the douchey side; I mean, the ice cream joint on ship is literally called “Lick Me til Ice Cream” which is about as cringey to type out as much as it is to see it on a fucking wall (but it didn’t stop us from going there a few times and enjoying some decent quality gelato), and the cruise line’s general importance placed on drinking and partying.
But a lot of those preconceived notions were put to rest pretty early on, and other than like, the temperature of our stateroom, and the occasional clunkiness of the app, I really don’t have anything bad to say about the entire experience, and I can say without hesitation that we had a fantastic experience, and we would without hesitation do it again in the future, which is all but guaranteed, seeing as how we’ve capitalized on their future voyage bait of a large amount of on-board credit for putting a deposit down for a future cruise.
I’d thought about doing a pros and cons kind of list for Virgin, but honestly there aren’t really any cons, beyond some reaching gripes. So all the same, I’ll try to gather my thoughts and put together why I enjoyed the cruising experience so much, and hopefully in the future I can talk at least one other couple to come and try to see for themselves what mythical wife and I found out for ourselves.
The food. First and foremost, the quality of the food aboard the Valiant Lady was top-notch, through and through. Mythical wife and I capitalized on their reservation policy of booking as soon as we were eligible to book, and we did some research and made a point to try every restaurant on board, which I think we can safely say that we managed to succeed in. Being a four-night cruise, we might not have experienced both brunch and dinner service everywhere, but we did manage to try every restaurant at least once.
And my ranking of them would be:
- Extra Virgin (Italian)
- Pink Agave (Mexican)
- The Wake (steakhouse)
- Razzle Dazzle (vegan)
- Gunbae (Korean)
Obviously it looks suspect that I’m putting the Korean joint at the bottom of a ranking, but it’s not to say that they sucked, it’s just that I thought everywhere else was just better. Gunbae was fine, but their Korean food was obviously not prepared by Korean people, their kalbi was actually bulgogi cut beef marinated in kalbi sauces, and Gunbae is more of an dining experience than it is going actually for the food, I decided.
The Wake had an incredible strip steak for their brunch, that I imagine they would have something equally amazing during a dinner service that we’d have to do the next time. Pink Agave’s roast pork was probably my favorite entrée hands down on the entire cruise, but Extra Virgin had an incredible gnocchi, steak and pasta spread that was the most satisfying dining experience on the cruise. Extra Virgin also is the only place that we went to twice, since the gnocchi especially was so good.
Aside from the restaurants, the food throughout the rest of the ship was all top-notch, and definitely does not suffer a drop in quality just because they’re not in the restaurants. Virgin doesn’t do a buffet you can go to at any point, but rather a food court style where you can pick up from a variety of genres. And throughout our trip, I was able to indulge in stuff like burgers, chicken sandwiches, ramen, dumplings, vindaloo chicken sticks, and some of the best spiced French fries ever.
A first world problem was definitely the feeling that there weren’t enough meals in the day to really have gotten to try a little bit of everything as I hoped I would, but that also just means that there’s something to look forward to in the future. As I’ve said in the past, a mark of a good trip is feeling like you didn’t get to do everything you wanted, and that’s definitely the case with the food variety with Virgin.
The service. I can confidently say that at no point did I feel any staff member we encountered was anything short of pleasant, helpful, entertaining or any other positive praise I could put in writing. Restaurant workers, guest services, stewards and bartenders, everyone was always cheerful and willing to help and accommodate.
And the thing is, tips are 100% included with your fare, so you really don’t feel like everyone is being super nice to you in order to get tips from you, and the feeling, or lack of, pressure of knowing you don’t have to fork over envelopes of cash at the end of the cruise is refreshing and liberating, especially since I actually didn’t get to go to the bank before the trip, and the amount of actual cash I had on hand was not a lot.
It’s also worth mentioning that Virgin is very lax when it comes to allowing their staff to be well, humans. For context, crew for Disney and Royal Caribbean are basically not allowed to fraternize with guests, and basically when they’re not actively working, they’re sequestered into staff quarters, where they have their own dining sections, light recreation and amenities, and are for the most part expected to be out of sight when they’re not needed to be in mind.
Virgin crew are allowed to eat, mingle, drink and exercise amongst the rest of us pleebs, and I always found it comforting and refreshing to see tag-wearing crew just hanging out, eating, or exercising among the rest of us, and I appreciate Virgin’s policy to allow them to be real people and not just anonymous crew.
It’s funny though, because in my experience with other cruise lines, it feels like each one seems to have dibs on certain regions of the world to exploit recruit from, like how Disney seems to have an inordinate number of people from Indonesia and the Philippines, while Royal Caribbean has a lot of Indian and Israeli workers. Virgin seems to have staffed up their ship from mostly eastern Europe, based on the seemingly amusing parade of mostly blonde white people working all over the place who all had accents and names that looked like they were from Hungary, Croatia or the Ukraine
Fitness and amenities. Maybe it can be lumped into the superficial vibe, but at least it’s one that I can appreciate, but Virgin puts a lot of emphasis on fitness and health, based on the abundance of exercise resources they offer, and how many healthier options of food they provide.
Sure, of course I was going to relax a little and indulge in the variety of spoils available to me, but I’m also an early-riser that likes to be active, and on two of the mornings, I naturally awoke early, and I decided to take advantage of the fitness resources available to me, and if there’s one thing that I’ve always loved doing on cruise ships, is running laps, because there’s few things as pleasant to run in than sea breeze and a view of endless water in the horizon, and then after each of my runs, I hit the weight room, to do some vanity douchebag workouts, AKA arm curls, bench, situps, pushups and anything to get a quick pump to look my beefiest in the event I would hit the pool deck or be in a tank top.
Virgin had a pretty serious weight room for a cruise, with dumbbells that went up to 100 lbs, and a wide variety of machines to get some iron in, that I definitely capitalized on, and I most definitely was not alone in the gym. Obviously, this isn’t always possible on other cruises when I have the kids in tow, but while I had the opportunity to be in my exercise world on my own, I definitely capitalized and I enjoyed it immensely.
As for the rest of the amenities on the cruise, there isn’t a ton of things, but the things they did have were cool, like the board game room, a small arcade with some retro games, even if their SFII:CE cabinet wasn’t well maintained and I couldn’t even do a fucking hadoken, but I still had fun playing Golden Axe.
There was a casino on board that had some really, really reasonable table limits, and hopefully in the future I can bring a little bit of a bankroll to have some fun with, but I didn’t really want to fall into the rabbit hole this time, and I didn’t really have much disposable cash on me, so I refrained, despite my want to bust out an old roulette strat from way back in time.
But really, it’s kind of good that they don’t have such stacked activity agendas or more amenities than they provided, because it gave me a lot of downtime for me to indulge in things that I want to do for myself, like simply having the opportunity to find a secluded place in the Galley where I could indulge in a cup of coffee or two, or some Diet Cokes, put in my ear buds and stream music since Virgin gives free wifi, and read quietly on my Kindle. Kind of like in my pre-dad days, I was able to crush an entire book by an author I like, all while enjoying drinks, view and music doing it.
I’m sure I’m forgetting other things, but this post is turning into a beast and I’m losing my resolve, but I wanted to mention the debarkation as a massively surprisingly positive experience. Not only were we given until 10:15 am to get off the ship, when we did get off the ship, it was the easiest thing in the world walking out without getting interrogated by customs or having to feel like cattle going through the chute again.
I don’t have a lot of negatives to say about the experience, like I said, they’d be reaching or first-world problems in the grand spectrum of things. Our room wouldn’t get as arctic as mythical wife likes it, and the air circulation was weak. The tablet that controls most of the room’s functions crapped out a few times, necessitating rebooting and using manual override buttons around the room. The pools are small and not worth getting crowded over, and despite the fact that we both brought swimwear, neither of us actually went to the pool.
However, Virgin’s beach club on Bimini, Bahamas was definitely a place where it would be worth busting out the swimwear, because they had gigantic pools, and a stunning beach that I kind of wish that I indulged in, even by myself, but the day we were there, there was also some crazy motherfuckers at the security gate at the port that clogged up the shuttle service, and I came to relax, and waiting in a bigass line is very much not relaxing.
Again, something to consider for the future, and definitely one that I highly encouraged mythical wife to do with me the next time we’re out there.
As far as destinations go, Key West and Bimini island aren’t particularly breathtaking or must-see kind of places. I got off the ship at both, just to say that I stepped foot in Key West, and I got to see a free-range chicken, and I actually did explore Bimini, because I saw on Google Maps that they had a town named after my daughter that I wanted to find a sign of, but mythical wife ignored both, and had no regrets doing so, and I don’t really disagree either.
Virgin Cruise Line, at least for this voyage was definitely all about the journey, and hardly at all about the destinations. Mythical wife and I were talking about how after this experience, Royal Caribbean seems like a cruise line that has little purpose for us in the future; she said never, but I wouldn’t go that far, but I understand where she’s coming from. From a price, food and experience standpoint, Virgin demolishes Royal, and Disney will always be in the conversation due to the girls, but when it comes to future cruises where we can be adults, it’s hard to not put Virgin at the front of the line.
I’m already looking forward to the next time we go cruising, and I think many of our collective friends would enjoy it themselves if they were to go. For all the talks and hypothetical reunions my friends and I toss around, I think a Virgin cruise would be a perfect thing we could do where everyone could enjoy good food, and make good time with friends as well as for themselves.
But bottom line is that Virgin Cruises are S+ for me, and was probably the best cruising experience I’ve ever had.
