Now I don’t often talk about politics on my brog, because I’m not qualified to do so, they bore me, and I think the whole fucking system is corrupted anyway, so why bother? But this is too gold of a story to not go without some sort of mention.
Okay, ready?
A petition on the White House website proposes that Justin Bieber should be deported. Furthermore, it easily cruised past the 100,000 signatures necessary to potentially ensure that it should be taken seriously.
I lol’d. Not funny to you yet? Take a few more steps back.
A large chunk of the American people wants to deport Justin Bieber for essentially being an over-privileged teenage douchebag doing douchebag things, like drag racing in expensive cars, doing drugs, getting caught with strippers and hookers, and being a tool on social media.
In all fairness, Justin Bieber is from Canada, and his life in the United States is completely predicated on a visa specific to entertainers, which does make him for all intents and purposes a visiting alien, and eligible for deportation, although I’m not going to pretend like I’m the expert on such legal things and proclaim that born-and-bred Americans couldn’t be deported if they fuck up magnanimously enough.
Now take the name “Justin Bieber” out of the entire equation and think about how many times in our lives we’ve met “the foreign guy” in our teenaged years that pretty much encapsulated most of the things Bieber has done, maybe without as much worldly travel and hookers, but just been as complete douchebags. It doesn’t matter if they were Asian, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, or European, most of us have encountered those who have immigrated to the States and gone to high school and college with us who came from a little bit of money and flaunted it and acted out with it.
Should the American people set up petitions on WhiteHouse.gov and try to get them deported too?
I get it, it’s funny, and I’m fairly certain that Justin Bieber isn’t going to get deported, even if this petition gets 100 million signatures on it. Most of the people signing it are probably under the age of 40 and doing it because it’s ironically funny and not necessarily because they genuinely believe that he’s a legitimate menace to society. Lindsey Lohan has almost all the same strikes as Bieber does, so should she be deported too? Even though she was born in the United States?
Take however many steps back as you might need to, but eventually I hope you see just how hilariously awful and magnificent this shit storm is. If Justin Bieber were deported for being a spoiled teenage douchebag, then I’m sure there are probably about 10 million less-spoiled teenaged douchebags that are here on visas that should probably get deported too.
Besides, the country drags its feet when it comes to deporting people who really deserve deportation like criminals, terrorists and legitimate menaces to society. Even if they decided to revoke Justin Bieber’s visa, he would still probably have ample time to release another shitty album that goes multi-platinum and have a long-winded tour across the country, earning a billion dollars which he’ll take with him as he leaves the country for good.
Then it wouldn’t be so funny anymore.
