Impetus: Archie comics are going the route of Spider-Man and announcing they’re killing off their titular character, but really they’re doing it in a less-successful spin-off series and not mentioning that part concisely as not to compromise the impulsive demand from would-be buyers.
Killing a titular character is such a cop-out. It’s basically saying “we’re out of ideas for this character, and don’t want to bother putting any further effort with them.” I can’t say that I’ve ever really been a fan of Archie comics, but I’m not going to pretend like I’ve never read them before either. Granted, my exposure to them was literally when I was in the first or second grade, and I took piano lessons from a lady who had all sorts of Archie comics on her coffee table for the kids who showed up early like me would be able to read to kill time with. A lot of the stuff was over my head back then, and it took me a while to realize that “Ronnie” was a nickname for “Veronica.”
Regardless, Archie has endured the test of time, which is impressive in its own right. The series has become so everlasting, it’s almost seemed like it’s been used as a platform to discuss social issues or veiled political commentary, based on how they’ve incorporated storylines involving things such as interracial couples and homosexuality. Even to this day, I still see Archie comics at the checkout counter of Publix, every time I go there, and think to myself “man, they really still do make Archie comics?”
Needless to say, I’m going to assume that Archie isn’t killed. No, because there’s still plenty of potential with Archie Andrews. You just have to be willing to go in a different direction with him.
Like say, dipping into the mind of a professional wrestling writer a little bit, the easiest way to shock some intrigue back into Archie Andrews is to well, make him bad. After countless decades of being Riverdale’s most mischievously outstanding goodie-two-shoes, as the Joker once said, all it takes is one bad day, or just a little push, or something along those lines; to take someone so good, and make them so bad.
One day, Archie takes Veronica out into Gotham City for a date. Archie has been working hard for months, working two jobs as well as juggling around the emotional needs from all his friends, while being mooched off of by Jughead. But all his grit, hard work and determination has paid off, and he’s saved up a good bit of money, and wants to impress Veronica with his ability to spoil her in the big city.
Through a previous internship with GothCorp, Archie uses a connection with the CEO, Ferris Boyle, to get access to a luxurious high-society party, where Boyle would be accepting a humanitarian award. Unbeknownst to Archie and Ronnie, Boyle had a former employee seeking a personal vendetta against him up to this point, and despite the raucous good time that they were having at this posh social event, everything came crashing to a halt when the temperatures suddenly dropped, and the windows crashed, revealing giant walls of ice quickly enveloping the massive high-rise building they were at.
The events of this incident were fairly well documented in an episode of Batman the Animated Series “Heart of Ice,” but they simply did not get any exposure to those in the background that may or may not have suffered as a result of the attack on Ferris Boyle and the GothCorp building where the humanitarian of the year party was taken place.
After Batman and the Gotham Police Department successfully thwarted and apprehended Victor “Mr. Freeze” Fries, not enough attention was given to all of the party attendees afterward. The media was far too engrossed with the revelations that Ferris Boyle was a corporate stooge, completely cold-hearted and uncaring for his employees in spite of the fact that his company’s motto was that they were the “people’s company,” and whether or not they could press charges onto him.
Little attention was given to the twenty six people who contracted pneumonia from the arctic cold that Mr. Freeze had cast unto the building. Little attention was given to the four people that fatally succumbed to said pneumonia, with the exception of Veronica Lodge, and only by virtue of being daughter of wealthy Free Mason heir, Hiram Lodge.
As he recovered from his own bout of pneumonia, Archie Andrews could not recover from the grief of having lost Veronica, nor the idea that the trip to Gotham City and the attending of the GothCorp party were all his ideas. He had worked so hard, and planned so much, only for everything to become such a tragic disaster.
Why hadn’t the police helped the people? Why hadn’t Batman helped?? Why was nothing more being done about all of the collateral damage that happened on that night? Why must the good suffer so badly while the bad seem to get off so easy with just being locked up??
These questions swirled in young Archie Andrews’ mind, as a facet of his personality struggled with the inability to find the answers.
Once he was released from Gotham General Hospital, he stood waiting for a taxi, to take him on the long, quiet trip back to Riverdale – alone. A gust of wind blew a sheet of the day’s morning newspaper against his leg, and Archie bent to peel it off when he got a glimpse of the cover story.
BATMAN FOILS KIDNAPPER ENSLAVER; EXPLOSIONS AT ROCK QUARRY
Intrigued by seeing the mention of Batman, Archie combed through the rest of the article, only to find out that 17 lives were lost in the quarry explosion, with 11 of them being innocent men, who were kidnapped and put to work in the mines. Why hadn’t Batman helped these 11 innocents? Why did he only go after the boss, whom he caught, and got nothing more than a lengthy prison sentence, but for all intents and purposes, was at least allowed to live?? Where was the justice?
The answer finally came to Archie Andrews right at that very moment: there was no justice. And there was no merit to being good, because good people only died early. Bad people would be allowed to live, no matter the circumstances.
At that very moment, a cab driver pulled up. “Where’re you headed, son?”
A sadistic sneer arose on Archie’s lips. Without any response, he opened the passenger door to the taxi, and leaned in. Without a moment’s notice, Archie quickly reared back his right arm and threw a violent punch into the face of the cab driver, knocking him out cold. Quickly, he scrambled back out and circled the cab, opened the driver’s door, and removed the unconscious cabbie from his seat, and threw him out onto the cold, unforgiving asphalt. He then got into the driver’s seat, and drove off.
Archie Andrews’ new career of being a criminal had just begun.
Throughout the years, Evil Archie had aligned himself with whatever criminal was willing to pay him the most amount of money. It didn’t really matter, he would do whatever as long as it afforded him big pay and the immortality that came along with being a bad guy.
On numerous instances, he tangled with the Batman directly; once while he was working for the infamous Joker, once while he was working for Montague Cain, and several other times, Archie had lost count.
It didn’t matter though. Even though Batman trumped him every single time, Archie would not die. Batman had knocked him out countless times, but the result was still the same. He would wake up, sometimes in police custody, sometimes just in a pile of rubble or trash, but he would be alive. Once Batman threw him off of a moving airplane into arctic waters, but guess what? He didn’t die!
And after every heist and every crime, whether or not the Batman interfered with it or not, the result was always the same.
Evil Archie Andrews could not die.
Did I just write a fanfic?
