Impetus: death-row inmate’s last meal request revealed.
I didn’t even know that Georgia was a state that had the death penalty. I guess I shouldn’t really be that surprised.
Anyway, the following is the list of food that a woman on death-row has requested to be her last meal; it’s evident that based on her mug shot as well as the contents of this list, she has every intention of exploding into a disgusting, miserable mess of bile, viscera, gore and digestive matter, post-mortem, much like a boomer from Left 4 Dead:
- Cornbread
- Side of buttermilk
- Two Whoppers with cheese (with everything)
- Two large orders of French fries
- Cherry vanilla ice cream
- Popcorn
- Salad with boiled eggs, tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, carrots, cheese and Paul Newman buttermilk dressing
- Lemonade
Seriously, I thought criminals, no matter what they were on death-row for, were given basically anything they could imagine for their last meal within reason and reality. What this lady is requesting with basically two Burger King Whoppers being the main entrees of her last meal is nothing short of unimaginative or someone with standards the lowest of the low. Perhaps both.
Regardless, what stood out to me was simply the fact that so many of these items seem to contain an inordinately large amount of dairy, cream, or gooey equivalent. Cheese on the Whoppers as well as the salad, hard-boiled eggs in the salad, dairy ice cream, as well as buttermilk dressing for the salad (clearly has to be Paul Newman’s).
However, what sticks out to me is the side of buttermilk that apparently has enough prominence to warrant its own bullet point. This is like the cherry on top and kind of the item that makes me think that this woman really wants to be bloated and full of gross, gooey, sludge-y dairy and creamy matter, so that when she’s put to death by lethal injection, the ensuing expulsion of bodily matter upon post-mortem is her attempt to get the last laugh on her captors.
And I’m sure that if it were up to her, she’d be delighted, if and when she explodes all over the people putting her to death, if a mass of undead zombies came out of nowhere to swarm and beat the shit out of them.
