Get owned, Gawker – Floridalol jury awards Terry “‘The Immortal’ Hulk Hogan” Bollea a $115 million dollar verdict against snarky website, Gawker, for violation of privacy, when they posted a sex tape of Hulk Hogan back in 2012.
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Oh, I can’t get enough of this story. I mean, it was about as much of a layup as they come, but it still excites me to see the conclusion to this lawsuit that was forgone three years ago, but still had to be played out.
Gawker’s done some really deplorable shit throughout its existence, and they can probably claim various modicums of responsibility for the ruining and/or just griefing of a lot of peoples’ lives, whether they were celebrities or not. And lots of people have tried to fight back, to little avail, because Gawker is a smarmy collective of arrogance and some actually educated people, so to give credit where credit is due, they have been able to avoid the crosshairs of those who generally don’t like them, for quite some time.
Then again, their sense of invincibility may have been a little too high, when they decided to test their limits against HE WHO IS IMMORTAL and has raised entire generations on a mantra of saying prayers and taking vitamins, and posted a sex tape of Hulk Hogan in 2012.
I mean, Hulk Hogan has defeated fucking everyone he’s ever faced off against. The Iron Shiek, the Ultimate Warrior, Ric Flair, Yokozuna, the Undertaker. And of course, Andre the Giant. Just because Gawker is a website, and not a gigantic sweaty man in underwear, doesn’t mean they would fare any better!
It’s just so hilarious to me to think that of all the people and groups who have wanted Gawker, and their shitty network of clickbait drivel to crash and burn and die, nobody’s been able to succeed at taking them down.
UNTIL HULK HOGAN DECIDED TO TRY.
Seriously, think about how many times Gawker or its affiliates have probably faced legal action, presumably for shit like plagiarism, slander, false reporting and/or defamation. Probably a bunch. Probably a lot more that doesn’t go reported, to those not willing to seriously dig and inquire about it. And none of them succeeded.
Hulk Hogan opens up a lawsuit against Gawker, and suddenly, they’re pulling out more stall tactics than Larry Zybyzko to try and buy time and save themselves. It’s as if they done figured out that they barked up the wrong tree when they fucked with the Hulkster. The trial was supposed to happen as far back as nearly three years ago, and it was supposed to take place last year as well, until it was delayed yet again until just recently.
And all it took was two piddly weeks for the former founder and former editor of Gawker to step on their own toes, and be their usual arrogant New York selves to a courtroom full of humorless Floridians, for them to pretty easily side with Hulkamania on this one.
Man, it’s just so great to see, read, or even say the words “Hulk Hogan took down Gawker.” Never mind the $115 million simoleons the Hulkster is being awarded, although I doubt Gawker even has that kind of scratch to give, the victory is entirely moral and by principle. Gawker has thought they were invincible for years behind the veil of First Amendment rights that they’ve typically cherry-picked holes in it, to their benefit, and have puked up years and years of shitty “journalism,” often times knowing well the destructive potential of their words.
But they picked a fight with Hulk Hogan, and Hulk Hogan defended himself justly, and then took them to the pay-per-view, where Hogan does what he’s always done in his career – emerge victorious.
Who knows what’s going to happen to Gawker and their network in coming weeks, months. Honestly, I don’t really care, it’s been quite some time since I’ve bothered going to any of their sites, including Deadspin, Kotaku or Jalopnik. Frankly, I don’t feel like I’m any worse off for it, or that I’m missing any scintillating content. I’d prefer that they all shut down and vanished into the wind, but the reality is that somewhere out there, some company or conglomerate will resurrect them, or keep them alive, because in spite of how invaluable it looks, there’s still a great deal of perceived value in web hits, clicks and page views, and if there’s something Gawker’s always been decent at, it’s generating all of the above.
Regardless though, let the record show, for eternity, that when it came to the clash of the titan and the shitty website, Hulkamania prevailed. Brother.
