I’d be afraid to know what happens to those who don’t vote for him: Glenn Jacobs, better known as the WWE’s Kane, also known as “The Big Red Monster” or “The Devil’s Favorite Demon” . . . appears to be headed towards a run for mayor, of Knox County in Tennessee.
Man, bless Jesse Ventura. Because he succeeded at going from pro-wrestling into politics, there will never be a shortage of wrestlers in the future that will believe that politics isn’t something that they can’t get their feet into if they really tried and campaigned well enough.
As for Kane, I’d be hard pressed to believe that he wouldn’t make a good mayor, if voters could inevitably shake the preconceived notions of a candidate being a professional wrestler. Unbeknownst to those who have a hard time seeing wrestling as a dumb profession, Kane, or rather Glenn Jacobs, is widely regarded amongst his peers as one of the more intelligent and well-respected professionals in the business. Someone who is smart about his health, nutrition, and an overall team player that has always done whatever that has been asked of him for the betterment of the company before himself. There’s a reason why he’s been regularly on television for nearly the last two decades, while there’s a laundry list of guys who have come and gone like the McRib.
How such attributes translate into politics, who really knows, as politics are dumb but people seem to think they’re necessary anyway. I guess we can believe that Jacobs is no stranger to appearing in public, and has plenty of experience in dealing with failure, since in spite of his longevity, Kane really has been kind of a jobber to the stars for most of his career, and is probably used to defeat, but it never stops him from showing up the following week and going to work.
But the team player traits and the willingness to listen and do whatever is asked of him, those travel well, no matter what context you put them into. I’d have little doubt that Jacobs would be a refreshing change of perspective to a local political scene; or he’d be so willing to compromise and concede with his constituents, that he’d get walked all over, but hopefully Mayor Kane would also be able to big boot reckless spending and decision making and give some metaphorical (or physical) chokeslams to less desirable politicians.
Unfortunately, I’m going to have my doubts that Kane isn’t going to job in this endeavor as well, because the stigma against professional wrestling is likely far too great for voters to not see as some sort of publicity stunt or a mockery of public office. Ventura won governor of Minnesota mostly because competition was weak and Minnesota is one of the few places that genuinely believes and respects wrestling. It’s hard to say that a southern state like Tennessee isn’t too conservative to vote for Kane, even if he would be running as a republican.
Naturally, upon hearing about Kane deciding to get into politics, it made me curious to follow upon the fate of when Rhyno was running for a House District seat in Michigan last winter. And in true irony, I came across this unfortunate story that revealed that he jobbed pretty badly to a 26-year old healthcare expert, and by over 8,000 votes. Bonus points go towards the writers of the piece to jab at the wrestling persona of Rhyno, and utilizing gore references to describe his defeat.
But as much as I’m a fan of both Kane and Rhyno, I can’t say it’s much of a surprise that they didn’t succeed where Jesse Ventura did. Professional wrestling just doesn’t get enough respect to sway voters to seriously vote for a professional wrestler. Hopefully, this doesn’t deter those who believe they can make a difference, and that hopefully one of these days, their experience in slamming guys around by their throats and spearing people through inanimate objects, on top of public speaking skills and a lack of fear when being the centerpiece of groups of people, will lead another professional wrestler into a successful political seat.
Man, imagine how cool it would be to at a function in Knox County, and before Mayor Kane arrives to speak, the lights go out, replaced by a red glow, before massive pyrotechnics go off, and Mayor Kane emerges from the floor amidst canned smoke and hellfire and brimstone. He takes the mask off and then proceeds to sternly talk about shit like education and public money usage. And if it’s at a debate, when his opponent inevitably tries to undermine his position by talking about his wrestling career, he can walk over and chokeslam him through their podium, and speak uninterrupted for a little while.
This is the kind of shit I’d love to see. Vote for the Big Red Republican, Knox County!
