In case you missed it, Amazon finally ended their year-long goose chase of deciding on what city was going to win the privilege and exalted honor of being home to HQ2. And because contests don’t really need to have rules or hold true initial claims anymore, not just one city, but two, were picked to split HQ2 into what I guess might be HQ2 and HQ2-2 or HQ3 or whatever they choose to call it, but the bottom line is that there wasn’t just one winner, but two co-winners: Crystal City in Virginia, and Long Island City in New York.
Admittedly, in the start of the whole HQ2 saga, I was actually hopeful that Atlanta would end up being the winner, especially after it made it past the first few rounds of cuts, and bettors were actually placing odds on the whole thing, placing Atlanta along with Austin, Texas, as the odds-on favorites to be where Amazon decided to go.
I think a part of that was just kind of the sports fan in me, that is pretty eager to see Atlanta, or the state of Georgia get any sort of win, that even a competition like where a major corporation is deciding to go, would’ve been sufficient enough to be able to declare that Atlanta came out with a major win. And the knee-jerk thoughts of what a company like Amazon would be capable of doing with its arrival, like jettisoning property values, infusing the city with fresh new people that might be able to break the norm and shape something new, and the outlandish thought that being home to HQ2 might just supercharge Prime deliveries for the hometown immediately came to mind.
But then as time passed, and the saga drug on and on and on, with more cuts and more bullshit happening, where Atlanta kept moving on, but kept dumping more and more money into trying to impress Jeff Bezos and Co. to come to Atlanta, it began to get old hat really fast. Skeptics were quick to point out that a place in the DC/VA/MD would have the inside track, since Bezos owned the Washington Post, and why wouldn’t he want to base his primary business near the major media outlet he owned?
But the reasons why I kept thinking Atlanta still had a fighting chance, were none other than the HQ2 criteria that Amazon themselves claimed they were looking for, and the fact that Atlanta kind of fit all of them: reasonable property values, access to major airport, space to grow, flexibility to shape the city, and a reliable source of tech and workforce nearby. Considering Atlanta fit all of the criteria, had Georgia Tech right near by to feed their workforce, and was also a massive UPS and FedEx hub, and was also a city that could actually operate four seasons of the year without weather being a factor, there was little reason to believe that anywhere else was more qualified than Atlanta was.
However in the end, not only does Amazon befuddle everyone by picking two cities instead of one, they basically contradicted every claim that they were looking for. Nevermind the fact that splitting an alleged 50,000 person infusion into a single place is diluted into two, neither Crystal City or Long Island City are remotely anything close to being affordable living. Neither have reputable schools or a tech workforce readily available nearby, and although they’re both close to major airports, they’re also two cities that are actually affected by snow, and are both winter storms away from crippling operational closes. Plus, neither have any room at all for growth or expansion at all, and injecting 25,000 into each of these places is only going to further sardine can the existing populations of people that live there already.
All this being said, I have a hard time believing the notion that Atlanta “lost” the HQ2 sweepstakes. Frankly, in the end, I think Atlanta kind of dodged a costly bullet, and is better off without a massively major conglomerate existing within the city. Upon further thinking, I already feel that the city is overcrowded and choked out from the traffic as it is now, I couldn’t imagine just how much more insufferable and miserable it would be with 25,000 more, much less 50,000 new people moving in.
The best part about it is amidst the feeling of defeat, is officially finding out all the bullshit perks that the state was willing to kowtow to Amazon, had they chosen to come to Atlanta in the end. Primarily the part where my former employers are basically named in the article as bending over to provide employee training for basically nothing for an undisclosed amount of time and for ungodly amounts of money. And anything where they are handed a defeat and left feeling abandoned at the altar is good news in my book. I couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like had I still worked there during the HQ2 sweepstakes, because I’m sure it would’ve been embarrassing and humiliating being the bigwigs, clawing amongst each other to get Jeff Bezos’s cock in their mouths, while likely having an NDA attached to each and every one of us in the process.
But seriously, aside from free MARTA trains, education and employee training, would’ve been probably billions in tax incentives that would’ve been great for Amazon, but probably at the expense of everyone actually in the state, because that’s what Georgia does.
So in the end, it’s probably more like a huge victory that Atlanta dodged the HQ2 bullet, and frankly, it’s not like Atlanta is going to wilt away without them. Growth is best when it happens organically and intelligently, and not necessarily just because some company decided to plop itself in, like a Sim City commercial zone.
But damn, is it satisfying to see my old employers named as being the ones to be probably taking this loss the worst. Get back to fuckin work, Jacks.
