On this date, December 2, 2022
South Korea 2, Portugal 1
As much as I enjoy the World Cup, I didn’t have any grand expectations as far as the Motherland’s chances were. This isn’t eSports or Little League baseball, so my hopes for Korea’s participation in the World Cup is usually along the lines of hoping they don’t embarrass themselves, and be the worst team to get sent packing in the first round.
Thanks to the Qatar that didn’t belong there in the first place, and Canada whom I didn’t even know even played futbol in the first place, that’s not going to happen. Undoubtedly, the team that brings the most dishonor to the World Cup is undoubtedly Germany, whom once again was bounced in groups for the second straight World Cup, with 2014 looking like a historical event from the present.
But not only did Korea not embarrass themselves on the global stage, they didn’t get bounced in groups. With their incredible 2-1 victory over Portugal, they advance out of groups and into the elimination round of 16, where Brazil awaits, to which that’ll be its own tragedy in its own right, but at least I can have the memories of this day where Korea, once again finishes groups on a high note after starting slow with a draw and a loss in their prior two matches.
I kind of had this hope that Korea could beat Portugal on the logic that with two wins already, and advancement already locked in, the Portuguese really didn’t have to play that hard, and would change things up and play backups, in order to save their stars. France and Spain paid a similar price, dropping their third matches, and I was hoping that Portugal would join them.
Cristiano Ronaldo, who made waves just the day prior after signing some absurd, nine-figure deal with a Saudi team that’s anywhere between $220-360 million dollars was the most entertaining part about watching Portugal, because it was flagrantly clear just how much he’s in body protect mode in order to be able to play for his blood money, which was a little surprising to me, because usually non-Americans give more shits about global glory, and Ronaldo looked very much a like a future American MLS player, who will undoubtedly be starting for the LA Galaxy in the near future after his Saudi deal is up.
Motherfucker was offsides like 4-5 times always staying on the attacking half of the pitch, waiting for scoring opportunities and contributing nothing on defense. In fact, Korea’s first goal actually ricocheted off of Ronaldo’s back from his weak effort at defense, and I made the analogy to my friends that he was basically late-career Kobe, who only wanted to score but not defend.
Regardless, as the second half began ticking down, the only thing that kept my hopes up was the fact that just about every game during this World Cup has seen numerous goals scored past the 82nd minute. All things considered, regardless of my vehement disagreement that the World Cup should be in Qatar in the first place, it’s really turned out to be one of the most exciting Cups in ages, with lots of exciting games, high (for futbol) scores, and a level of parity internationally not seen, like ever.
Latin American teams are basically the basketball Team USA of futbol now, with Uruguay, Mexico, Costa Rica, Ecuador all getting bounced from groups, while lots of power has shifted to African and Asian countries, with Senegal and Morocco advancing out of groups, with Ghana and Tunisia notching wins before elimination, while Korea obviously advances, but so does Japan, for the first time since 2002.
But in the 91st minute, Korea made my hopes into reality, when they executed a picture-perfect counter to a busted Portugal corner, with Son Heung-min breaking away, drawing the defense, and then feathering the perfect, between-the-legs pass to Hwang Hee-chan who made an entire peninsula explode with his dramatic goal.
A tense five minutes later, and the game was over. But before the real celebration could happen, they had to wait out the remaining eight minutes of the Uruguay-Ghana match, where a single goal by Uruguay was enough to break up the goal differential between them and Korea, and would send them to the next round instead.
During this time, my mind filled with memories of an old neighbor that I used to be good friends with for a minute before we had a falling out and never recovered from. He was of Uruguayan descent and was quite proud of his heritage, which isn’t something I don’t discount. But he was basically white-washed and entitled and spoiled with all sorts of rich family crap, and that’s all I needed to feel any sort of prejudice towards the entire country and hopes for their defeat.
I was actually planning on making a post like this had Korea defeated Uruguay earlier in the round, but they unfortunately went to a draw. Thankfully they didn’t lose, and a draw against a team that was supposedly good at futbol like Uruguay seemed kind of like a win, but I’ll just take the fact that they didn’t lose. They saved the L for Ghana instead.
Thankfully, their stoppage time didn’t take long, and it was at then and only then was it truly solidified that not only had Korea defeated Portugal, but they were moving onto the next round. Fucking incredible, the whole scene of excitement, elation, and celebration. I’ve been feeling the want and need to feel what a win feels like, because it doesn’t feel like my life is having a whole lot of those lately, and this definitely was just what I needed.
I’m not even going to care if and when Korea gets bounced by Brazil in the next round. It’ll make my Brazilian au pair happy, and any sort of success is just a bonus at this point. Korea didn’t just not embarrass themselves, they achieved a little bit of success. And for a country where futbol is not one of their primary pastimes, that’s a huge win.
