When I saw that subject line in an office memo that came out, I knew exactly what it was going to be about. And sure as shit, starting in August, my company is now going to four days in-office, one day remote. Rather one day “flex,” which all but guarantees that 90% of the people who have it as a flex day won’t be coming into the office. I know that my ass will never be coming into the office on a flex day, unless I directly told that I had to.
When I started with my company, we were still full-remote, since pretty much the whole world was still operating full-remote at the time. It wasn’t until about April of 2022 that we were brought back to the office, and at that time, it was Monday and Wednesday in-office, Thursday being a flex day, and Tuesday and Friday being remote. This was a good way to ease people into coming back to the office, and seeing as how my now new office had a gym that I could work out at, I relished in the opportunity to go hit the weights again, even if it meant having to come into the office again.
That being said, I came into the office on most Thursdays, despite it being flex, because it was more conducive to a workout schedule, and it turned out that I was getting more work done in the office, because at that time, my childcare situation was still an abyss of flakes prior to getting an au pair. It also didn’t hurt that upper management acknowledged that I was present on Thursdays, which is always a plus to get brownie points from superiors.
Eventually, Tuesdays were deemed mandatory office days, with Thursdays remaining flex, and Friday being remote, which is where I’m at now. It’s definitely a step in the wrong direction as far as personal comfort goes, because my exercise weeks are front-loaded since I’m going into the office M-W, meaning my cardio days are Thursdays and unfortunately on Saturdays too to ensure I’m running at least twice a week. First world problems, I know, but the main thing is that the weeks now feel longer with three consecutive mandatory office days, and by the time Thursday rolls around, there’s a zero percent chance that I’m going to actually flex into the office on those days.
And as of August, it’ll be four days in the office, with Friday being the lone day where we can work from home. I would wager money that by no later than January 2, 2024, my company will be five days in the office again, with the lone incentive to try and seem humanitarian will be a degree of leniency with working from home in the event of sickness or logical reasoning.
What really annoys the shit out of me is how all of this is being sold to us, as if we’re a bunch of gullible idiots who actually believe that there is actually a substantial majority of people who want to be in the office. Despite knowing what the memo was going to say, I still rolled my eyes almost out of my head at the words that were added to try and sell it as a good idea:
I’m saddened when I hear that our associates feel like they work in silos or can’t articulate our fantastic culture. As a leadership team, we want to reinvigorate that entrepreneurial spirit that we believe comes from in-person meetings, collaboration, and celebrations. We have given this a lot of thought, and to help address these concerns, effective July 31, 2023, we are bringing back four days a week in office, Monday through Thursday – with Friday as a remote work day
Like really, I don’t know a single person in my company who is looking forward to this, much less is an associate who feels like working in a silo is a bad thing. I can’t speak for everyone obviously, but I sure as shit have demonstrated more than enough times on how to be productive as fuck in a remote environment, and I do not know anyone who doesn’t feel like being able to work remotely hasn’t been good for their careers and personal lives.
Just once, I’d love to hear a CEO or a leader of this kind of decision making to just be fucking honest about it. Admit, that they’re doing it because other companies are doing it, and they want to keep up with the Joneses. Admit, that they’re flexing their power as a company-wide decision maker, and want to do it just because they can. I would have more respect for these schlubs for being honest than trying to shill me a bunch of fluffy rhetoric about how being back at the office is going to foster any sort of improved collaboration or team chemistry.
I know this is a first world problem, and I know that I am lucky to have a job at all. But still, it’s the fact that aside from my company, countless numbers of companies have proven and demonstrated the ability to get shit done and keep the machine rolling, productively, in remote or hybrid capacities, literally for years now. There’s no real reason other than companies wanting to flex their will onto their employees, to force them to come back when shit isn’t even broken.
And unsurprisingly, this does make me want to reconsider my job situation, and potentially start casually keeping my eyes peeled for an exit plan. I’ve learned throughout my career to never shut the door fully, but in light of recent events, I may keep the door open a little bit more than three inches, and I’m fortunately in a position to where I can casually look, and not have a clock over my head of needing a new job within a specific time frame.
So many people out there have been blessed with the opportunities to continue their careers in full remote positions. I want that too. I can start going to a commercial gym again, but in my career, I want to be striving towards less days in the office rather than more, and this really is a genuine factor when it comes to wanting to stay at my job versus leaving it.
