Tag: cars

The most NOVA story ever

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Short story shorter: woman in smarmy Mercedes-Benz somehow manages to not just crash, but wedge her car stuck onto the bumper of a smarmier $300,000 Ferrari

Watching the corresponding video to this tragic story, all I could think about was the issues that fictional Eagletonians dealt with in fictional Parks and Recreation; shit like not enough lobster at the soiree, or the mineral water content in the urinals being not up to par.

But this is pretty much the most Northern Virginia story ever to happen.  A WASP pretending like they’re rich and white privileged, somehow managing to not just hit, but basically run over and get stuck on top of an extremely overpriced and expensive status symbol with wheels; owned by another WASP.  Not to mention the Benz had a vanity plate reading “DER BNZ” because nothing is WASPier than needing to let everyone know that your car is definitely of a German manufacturer.

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Rare Pikachu: A smart NFL player

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I love this story: RB Alfred Morris signs a 2-year/$3.5M contract with the Dallas Cowboys, but still drives and loves his 1991 Mazda 626 that he purchased for $2 dollars.

Now this is what it means to love a car.  I’d like to believe that if I came into millions of fuck you money, I’d still continue to drive my existing car until it became a good idea to perhaps purchase something else.  And even then, I can’t imagine that I’d go nuts and get an Aston Martin or some other pointless supercar.

But I’m all about Alfred Morris’s love for his ‘Bentley,’ and the obvious notion that he’s a pretty level-headed guy that might just be aware of how volatile a career as an NFL fringe player, and that it might be a good idea to be smart with his money.  I respect a guy who doesn’t go crazy when he comes into pro-athlete money, and even more so when he loves his old beater of a car and refuses to propagate stereotypes.  One thing the country doesn’t need more of is broke, dumb former athletes who burden taxpayers with bankruptcy and their lack of contributions to normal society.

Despite the fact that a Mazda dealership back from his days on the Redskins refurbished his car to near-new condition, it’s refreshing to read a story about an NFL player that still manages to appreciate and enjoy the little things, like his first ride.

Still trying to figure this out

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As is often times the natural state of rest in the City of Atlanta, I was sitting in some catastrophic traffic, and I noticed this on the minivan in front of me.  Now I think I’m pretty open-minded about the construction of family units, and I have no qualms with a mom and dad, two moms or two dads, or whatever; as long as any kids aren’t raised to become shitheads, if it works, it works.

However, it doesn’t mean I’m not going to question something if it seems unorthodox to me; like a family decal that appears to look like two dads, a mom, three children and one poop emoji with arms and legs.  Now the poop emoji might just possibly be a baby, as indicative by the baby on board placard, but I’m admittedly puzzled by the presence of three parents.  Hey, if it works, it works, but it’s still out of the ordinary by traditional standards.

Like, are they polygamists?  Swingers?  I mean, in some way all polygamists are kind of swingers.  I guess there are just more questions than anything else for me, like if there are four kids in the equation, like, are they all from the decal-ed mom?  All from one of the dads?  Or a mixture of fathers?  I’m okay with the idea of it, but it does make me cringe a little bit to think of the four kids being like two from one dad, two from the other; this, I cannot help, because I don’t imagine I would like sharing my spouse, much less for procreation purposes, but, if it works for them, it works.

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So owned

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I enjoyed this too much: woman tailgates motorist, motorist taps brakes to try and get tailgater to back off, tailgater instead slams their own brakes, loses control, and spins out into the median.

Bonus:

The Fox Valley Metro Police Department told the paper that she was cited.

Bitch didn’t only get what she deserved for being an aggressive tailgater, she also got her well-deserved citation.

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Irony is

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Slapping a Confederate stars & bars sticker on your Japanese Acura CL family sedan.

bahahaha.

I saw this while I was coming home from work.  I was expecting to have a fairly unpleasant slog through a route of traffic that I knew that I would be facing regularly from now on, but I have to admit that seeing this amusing unity of conflicting automotive elements made the drive a little more tolerable, as I found myself laughing over this several times over throughout the crawl.

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Spike strips can make the world a better place

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Seemingly more often than the average person, I see a lot of people driving the wrong way on one-way roads.  I’d say probably 80% of the time it’s in a parking lot, but there’s also a roundabout near my job where I see countless people go the wrong way far too frequently, because they’d rather drive 90 degrees to turn left instead of driving around 270 degrees; whether is is done deliberately out of laziness and selfishness, or because these people are complete imbeciles is irrelevant, because they’re still turning into the opposite direction of traffic and putting people at risk.

Shocker of the century, whenever I see people driving against a one-way street, it annoys me.  To the point where the thought sits in my head long enough to where words begin to formulate in my head, and inevitably becomes a topic, something that I can write about in my brog that six people read.

Naturally, my first thought after annoyance is “how can this epidemic of wrong-way driving be solved?“

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Georgia drivers have to be the dumbest

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As is often part of the morning ritual, I sat down at my desk with my first cup of coffee for the day, and after the first tentative sip to gauge temperature, I began to read the local news.  I do this in spite of my general dread at seeing at what shootings and/or killings occurred in Southwest Atlanta over the last 24 hours, and hope to read something that’s of genuine interest, because ultimately, I’d like to be fairly well aware of what’s going on in my neck of the woods.

On top of the stories of shootings and/or killings that occurred in Southwest Atlanta over the last 24 hours, I noticed a fairly disturbing amount of stories regarding accidents resulting in fatalities or severe injuries, because someone was driving on the wrong side of the road, leading to some devastating sounding head-on collisions.

Over the weekend alone, there these two (reported) incidents within Metro Atlanta where people somehow managed to get on the wrong sides of the road heading in the opposite direction of the flow of traffic, and inevitably slamming head-first into oncoming vehicles.  Unfortunately, in both cases, there were fatalities, along with several severe injuries, and in one of them, the victim was a police officer.

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