Lakeland, Florida – a semi stalls on train tracks, and is decimated into two pieces when a CSX train plows into it, sending its cargo consisting of a variety of meats flying all over the place. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, and a lot of people went home happy after scavenging the remains for free meat.
So obviously this isn’t a story of a tractor trailer overturning on the highway, nor did it happen in the state of Georgia, typical criteria in which I try to integrate these stories into the highway buffet. But a train slicing a stalled semi full of meat into two pieces??
Yeah, that’s brog-worthy alright.
Talk about a chaotic story. Sure, it sucks for those involved in the accident, from the truck driver to all persons on the train. But thankfully nobody was hurt, which means the rest of the story is fair game for ironic humor and criticism.
So when the train basically splits the truck into two, sending all of its cargo flying everywhere, that’s some imagery that I could only wish I could have paid to see. The metaphor of seeing a train wreck was quite literal here, and if we as humans can’t take our eyes off them in metaphor, imagine the draw of seeing an actual train wreck happen in real time?
But then the story becomes all the discarded cargo, which was tons of frozen meat. Whether Colorado Meat and Seafood Company decided to keep the food or not was irrelevant; when free shit is laying all over the place, it would take UN forces to keep scavengers from trying to score said free shit. It’s a good thing that Colorado Meat and Seafood Co. decided to call the carnage a wash, because otherwise, there would have been some even more tragic fisticuffs when law enforcement would have to fight with the scavengers all trying to get some free meat.
As much as I like free food, I can’t say that I’d be willing to scavenge shit that had quite literally been hit by a freight train. Those who are, I’d surmise are either in some unfortunate financial circumstances, are extreme cheapskates, or are both.
Either way, as the holidays arrive, this is prime example of a Christmas miracle. Truck full of food stalls on the tracks, gets annihilated by a train, numerous hungry and needy people go home happy with free meat. Nobody is hurt, insurance kicks in, everyone is happy! Happy holidays!
