Tag: food

Braves Burgerizza, owned

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So, in an attempt to entice even the most jaded baseball fans into the dying home of the likely worst-team in Major League Baseball, the Atlanta Braves rolled out a bunch of crazy food items to try and appeal to the appetites for garbage food instead of competitive baseball.  Among them was this ridiculous cheeseburger, with two pan pizzas as buns, dubbed the “Burgerizza.”  I may have posted about this prior to the start of the season, but I can’t exactly go back and check since my site is still down. 

Well, in the case of me, it worked.  I knew that I had to go to a Braves game, if for anything at all, to eat this delicious-looking abomination.  This is also why I’m fat, but that’s beside the point.

Admittedly, I had some reservations about it, because a month prior, I had failed to defeat one of the other Braves food abominations, the tater tot waffle.  It was just so starchy and carb-y, and filled me up so quickly, that I could only make it through 3/4  of it before tapping out.  In terms of mass, the Burgerizza was larger, and at $26, it was more expensive, which meant that I was risking throwing away even more money in case I couldn’t complete it.

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I AM THE BURRITO KING

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment
me with THE Willy of Willy’s

On July 1, the Willy’s Road Trip promotion began.  I knocked out eight locations off the bat.  On July 2, I knocked out ten Willy’s, including the daunting Athens location.  On July 3, I visited eight more Willy’s and on July 4th, I visited the last Willy’s and didn’t hesitate when I got to my computer to submit the photos of all my receipts.

I got notification that I was the first one in on July 5, but a brief explanation that my submission would have to be verified and confirmed before I was officially anointed the first winner of the Willy’s Road Trip.  I figured, eh, no big deal, this shouldn’t take long, and that I had nothing to worry about because I followed the rules and stayed within parameters the entire way.

But then the waiting began.  I didn’t hear back throughout the remainder of the July 5.  Did something go awry?  I didn’t hear back on July 6.  Did they dislike my tactic of getting a cheapo item at most of the locations?  I didn’t hear back on July 7.  Did they not like the fact that I didn’t blow up Twitter or social media with their hashtag?

I was getting anxious.  Why was it taking Willy’s longer to verify my handful of receipts than it took me to drive nearly 300 miles in four days to visit?

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The breakdown of the Willy’s Road Trip contest

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Like the overcompetitive tryhard psychopath I am when it comes to Willy’s, burritos and competition, when I heard about the Willy’s Road Trip contest, and decided that I was going to do it, naturally it turned into a situation of “ha ha, you’re crazy Danny,” to a degree of planning and execution that really probably makes the people around me crook their head a little bit before looking at me next.

So yeah, when I was giving a lot of thought about how I was going to approach this, I decided that I was going to finish it as fast as possible, and came up with a route that would optimize hitting as many Willy’s on particular days, so that I could achieve this optimal finish.

What I was banking on was the fact that among the 27 Willy’s locations, four of them were within office buildings that had limited, Monday through Friday hours, hours as swift as 2:00 p.m. in one of them.  I figure those four would trip up most other psychopaths (if there are any), because the contest started on a Friday, and those most gung-ho about it would have to be as nuts and have as little of a life as I did in order to get them tackled as soon as possible.

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This is what insanity looks like

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Superstition would dictate that I would never share the details of any contest that I was interested in.  I know far too many talented people out there whose skills, acumen and tenacity render me the equivalent of like a toddler when it comes to particular contests.  Call me selfish, but sometimes I’d rather not have the super-talented people I know in my life not beating the shit out of me in any forms of contest.

But in an ironic sense that because of the server outage, nobody will actually read this until god knows when, I feel like I can talk about this contest whose hat that I’m going to throw my name into.  Without concern of jinxing it, or having anyone I know being better than me at it and winning it out from under my nose.

Thankfully this is a contest that I’m fairly certain nobody I know would, much less could, or even want – to challenge me in.  Because most people I know aren’t obsessive and insane about burritos, and typically probably have better things to do with their time and lives.

I got an email from Willy’s, the burrito chain that holds a dear spot in my gluttonous heart.  Long story short: visit all 27 Atlanta-area (plus one in fucking Athens) Willy’s locations, take a picture of the receipts, and try and be one of five nutjobs to be first to submit. 

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Man, jealous

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

You know who loves that chicken from Popeyes?  Or at least the biscuits?  I wish I could say it was the state of Georgia; actually, that’s probably very true, although I prefer to pledge my allegiance to Bojangles in the battle of fast food fried chicken.  Whatever though, I’m getting off the point (big surprise).

The answer is Pearl River County in Mississippi, where an 18-wheeler crashed on MS Rt. 59, spilling 40,000 pounds of Popeyes biscuits.

Now some Popeyes biscuits would’ve been an absolute coup of a side item to accompany the veritable buffet spilled all over Georgia highways – if only this truck had managed to wipe out in Georgia instead of Mississippi.  But again, another tragic food truck wipeout, denied to Georgia highways, and instead happening somewhere far less appreciated.

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A piece of me died

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This past weekend, I made a terribly long overdue visit back up to Virginia to visit my family.  After my dad had picked me up from the airport, I suggested that we go out to eat so that we could have some awkward father-son time together.  Ultimately, we ended up going to a Korean joint for jajangmyeon, but on the way there, I could help but feel tempted to suggest the Old Country Buffet that was also on the route to the Korean restaurant, for old time’s sake.

It’s a good thing that such did not come to fruition, otherwise my dad would have witnessed his grown son shed tears – it was closed, permanently.  And as of March of this year, no less.

I knew that OCBs and their parent company were in trouble, because I remember reading posts back in February that documented the company’s financial struggles.  Subsequently, I remember being relieved when the Fairfax OCB was not on the original list of 74 underperfoming restaurants that faced the corporate axe.

Clearly, this is around the time I kind of fell off the internet grid, fell behind in the news, and went dark to the happenings of the world.  Despite surviving the first round of cuts, round two came an abrupt month later, and then all OCBs, as well as affiliate buffet restaurants were all subsequently closed down, with most notably, the Fair City Mall location, that upon its departure, takes a piece of me with it, to the commercial afterlife.

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Too bad it wasn’t in Georgia

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Close, but no cigar: Trucker falls asleep at the wheel, crashes tractor trailer, spills nearly 50,000 lbs. of potatoes onto North Carolina highway

Honestly, I had reservations about posting this, because I’m envious that this happened in North Carolina and not in Georgia, but the visuals alone draw my attention, and then the words simply flow without any real effort.

But given the fact that Georgia highways have seen just about everything else other than a good side dish, spill onto them, from hams, eggs, watermelons, chips and numerous trucks full of beer, the elusive potato truck would crash just three hours away from its boundaries.

The visuals really are kind of breathtaking, seeing an alleged 50,000 pounds of potatoes all littered all over the interstate.  It’s really a crying shame that in the crash, all the diesel spilled from the truck itself and basically rendered the vast majority of the spuds inedible, because much like all the food lost on Georgia highways, 50,000 lbs. is a pretty hefty chunk of food not going to be enjoyed by fat Americans in the coming months.

I know the roads were closed, but imagine driving down I-77 not long after the incident was declared cleared.  Seeing all these balls of potatoes littered all over the shoulders and off in the surrounding areas.  Imagine just how rank the area is going to smell when all the potatoes that were not retrieved begin to rot and start stinking up the joint, because man do rotting potatoes eventually begin to reek.  Or imagine further down the line, potatoes that sprout the weird shit that sprouts from their pores, and then like, on the shoulders of I-77, a robust potato crop eventually emerges?

And to think the trucking industry is so desperately seeking anyone and everyone with the ability to drive, and phase out imbeciles like this truck’s driver, that the occupation is getting to the point where young Americans really have to start considering it as viable employment options.  When I read articles like this one, I begin to wonder if truck drivers actually make more than I do, all for basically being a glorified courier, and then my mind wanders to imagining what it’d be like to take a year to go drive trucks or something.