Oh, Atlanta #897

Urbanize Atlanta: legendary gentleman’s club/piece of iconic real estate aka The Cheetah to become lame student housing for Georgia Tech

A long time ago, when I moved back out to the ‘burbs, I had a moment of feeling that I would miss living and/or working within the city.  There was a piece of me that felt some sort of importance to have proximity to the city in order to have a feel for the pulse of it, and that residing outside of it would make me lose touch with all the news and happenings within Atlanta city proper.

Sure, it is accurate to say that I’ve lost touch with the general, boots-on-the-ground minutiae of the city, but it’s still entirely possible to keep up with the general main happenings in and around the city by virtue of, the internet.  There are plenty of sites and outlets that do a good job of keeping me abreast to stuff like restaurants and events, not that I have a tenth of the extroverted desires to go out in the world anymore for the most part.

But when the day is over, I just don’t really give a shit anymore about needing to know much about what’s going on in the city like I used to.  I don’t miss going into the city, and I feel no real need to have a finger on the pulse of it anymore.  The pandemic only accelerated this detachment from things, but it’s like every time I do go into the city, I’m always surprised to see new things, and alterations to the general city skyline, primarily within a 2-mile radius around Georgia Tech; encapsulating Midtown, and the at some point-christened West Midtown neighborhoods.

In the past, I used to work pretty much right next to The Cheetah, right in Tech Square.  There was a break room that I used to sit in to eat my lunch that had a window that looked right out onto Spring Street, and The Cheetah, and not much else, because at the time there was only a giant-ass dead lot that was used for pay parking.

I’ve never really been one for strip clubs, since there’s little more of a turn off knowing that the broads prancing around trying to separate you from your cash, resent your existence by being there, and a headcase like me needs to have some degree of emotional connection in order for my wires to heat up.  But all the same, I always respected the existence of The Cheetah, as it was kind of an icon of the city, often in the same breath as other notorious locations in the city like The Clermont Lounge, Murder Kroger, Center Stage, Little Five Points, etc.

Plus, I really enjoyed it when I found a random $20 bill on the sidewalk while I was passing by, and it helped contribute to my very first iPad acquisition way back in the day.

But in spite of my general ambivalence for strip clubs, it did give me a case of meh-face when I learned that The Cheetah was next on the city’s chopping block in order to make room for more lame student housing.  Like, there are so many other dilapidated and/or useless plots of land remotely close to Georgia Tech that could make for land for student housing as opposed to sacrificing The Cheetah.  And it’s not like over the span of the last decade there aren’t like 5-6 other new student housing buildings that have popped up to house all these Georgia Tech nerds.

I dunno, it just leaves me feeling sour, knowing that Atlanta seems to slowly be sacrificing all of the little quirks and idiosyncrasies that made Atlanta, Atlanta, the way they keep cannibalizing shit with character for boring ass shit like moar student housing, egregiously priced condominiums, or corporate headquarters.  It’s like they’re going to run out of insufferably elevated words and names to use for all these soulless towers at the rate they’re going, and the last time I was in the city, for a wrestling show at Center Stage, there were literally two new apartment towers that had sprouted up that weren’t there just months prior.

When the day is over, I’m not going to lose any sleep over the demise of The Cheetah.  But it’s stuff like this that makes it easier to reinforce the notion that I don’t miss being in the city or needing to be close to the city, at all.  Almost all of the restaurants I used to like to go to are all gone, and little landmarks that I could always give people ten-cent tours over are all being razed for boring shit.  It makes me sad knowing that the city that I do rep is voluntarily forfeiting their character and charm, over the need for a bunch of useless and aesthetically soulless real estate that contributes very little to the long-term life of Atlanta.

Justin Verlander is basically MLB’s Tom Brady

USA Today: Justin Verlander, 42, reportedly desires to keep playing despite having absolutely nothing left to prove, and having supermodel wife Kate Upton waiting at home

I saw this story about Justin Verlander wanting to keep playing past this season, and my mind was like wtf, why?  For the record, man has already accomplished:

  • Two-time World Series champion
  • Three no-hitters
  • 3x AL Cy Young Award winner
  • 1x AL MVP
  • AL Rookie of the Year
  • 9x All-Star

Surely it’s not money, because Verlander has already cleared over $400M in career earnings, and at that tier, it would take a Herculean effort of being a shithead to blow through it.  And it’s not like his wife is some financial leech, because he’s married to supermodel Kate Upton, whom Google claims has a net worth of $20M in her own right.

And speaking of Upton, it’s hilarious that he wants to keep staying on the road of living the life of a baseball player, instead of enjoying retirement with his bombshell of a wife and his two kids.  A cursory reaction is that in spite of the massive advantages he’s earned in his life, it seems like the life of being a husband and father is something that he’s not ready to commit to full-time, and the only thing preventing that from having to be a reality is, continuing to keep playing.

Frankly the only thing that seems remotely attainable and is a justifiable excuse to keep on trucking, is the pursuit of 300 career wins, which is something of a holy grail for pitchers and among the true milestones that separate the GOATs from the really goods.  However, he’s 35 wins away from that, and at the rate he’s going, he would need at least three more seasons, and get a ton of run support in order to have a chance at hitting 300, and by then he’ll be pushing 45, and most teams will probably be ready to take him out to the back of the pasture at that rate, especially if they’re going to be close to his 2025.

Getting back to the title of this post, Justin Verlander is basically MLB’s version of Tom Brady, the ageless star who has achieved just about everything there is to achieve, but continues to insist on playing, despite riches, achievements and a supermodel wife.

I guess us pleebs won’t ever be able to comprehend this innate desire to stay away from home and not settle down, or perhaps the adage of, every gorgeous woman is still someone’s colossal pain in the ass, rings true here and supermodels like Gisele and Kate Upton are as much head cases as they are attractive.

All the same, if I’m being honest, I feel like the Braves would be all in on being a match for Verlander, and I think the union could possibly work, at least for 2026.  The Braves are notorious for favoring aged stars on one-year deals, and the cheapskate org could possibly succeed at signing him for like 1-year, and maybe $13-14M.

The Braves would feel that they could extract the absolute last skill out of Verlander, and provided the team manages to bounce back from this abysmal 2025 campaign, they could be an ideal club to score a lot of runs again, with ol’ Justin to possibly be the beneficiary to them en route to 13 wins or so.

If the reports are true and he wants to keep going, I actually would expect the Braves to be in on Verlander for 2026.  His desire to not go home and be a family man could benefit the Braves, and lord knows they need all the help they can get for the future.

I sure as shit wouldn’t complain if he pulls a Tom Brady and jumps ship to a random team like the Braves and help them rip off a successful season en route to some World Series pay dirt.

Wrestlemania XLIII in Saudi Arabia? Thanks I hate it

When I heard the rumblings that Wrestlemania was going to be held in Saudi Arabia in 2027, I had two thoughts run through my mind:

  1. This was always going to happen eventually, I guess most of us wrestling fans didn’t expect it to happen just yet. When the WWE got in bed with the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, most fans saw a gamut of dollar amounts being thrown around as the cost of the union, with the only thing in common being that they were all ridiculously high with absolutely nothing measured in millions, but billions.  There was always talks and rumors that eventually Wrestlemania would make its way into the kingdom, but honestly I figured that at least Europe would have gotten a shot to host a ‘Mania before Saudi Arabia, but as is the way of the world, money talks.

  2. Regardless, I hate it. I’ve always been vehemently opposed to everything in regards to the WWE’s partnership with Saudi Arabia, and the only reason why I spite-watch the shows that they hold out there is that over the last few years, they’ve actually woven storylines into the Saudi shows as if they were going to Birmingham, Alabama for a PPV, and I have FOMO on any progressions in them.
    Yes, I know that makes my wrestling fandom a little bit (more) gray, but at the end of the day, I’m still a fan of the business, and I like to consume as much of it as I can, even if I don’t like the town they’re in.

But I am not a fan of the Saudi culture, which no matter how many billions they dump into the world economy to try to change the world’s perspective on them, doesn’t change the fact that they exist in a reality where women are full-stop, a full-ass tier beneath men, and there is absolutely nothing a woman could to do change the status quo.  Forcing them, as well as all visiting women to adhere to their bullshit laws of being completely covered up and probably other nonsensical things that would probably result in a beheading if violated.

Furthermore, they’re a culture of extreme homophobia, transphobia and just plain opposed to the LGBTQ+ community entirely.  Frankly, they’re just a culture of extreme prejudice in general, and early on in the arrangement, it was known fact that if Sami Zayn were to even step foot in the country, he would probably be killed, due to the conflicts in Syria and him being a native Syrian.

Honestly, I know I’ve said my piece about how I feel about Saudi culture, and I don’t much see the point in typing in circles and doing it again.  I just hate that the WWE has finally pulled the trigger on SaudiMania, and we’re less than two years again from the showcase of the immortals™ having to be broadcast from a culturally backward country at very likely an extremely inconvenient time to account for time zone, and I’ll probably get completely spoiled to everything by the time I can get to watch it, because not only can the internet never shut the fuck up, the WWE themselves has a really nasty habit of firing off emails in real time to the show, announcing critical results in order to hock their shitty overpriced merch powered by Fanatics™.

However, I had another thought while pondering this post: if there were ever a time for AEW to launch a genuine tactical strike against the WWE with the sole intention to gain industry footprint, I think this would be the perfect opportunity to do so.

Like, AEW books a show on the same weekend, entirely to counter and challenge SaudiMania.  Absolutely load the card, spread it over two nights.  Collaborate with everyone, especially since all the smaller and indy feds that love to book in the WWE’s gravity during Mania weekend probably won’t be able to do so if they’re in fucking Saudi Arabia, in order to help stack the card.

Hold it at EverBank and not Daily’s Place, where they could fill probably 50-60k, which would be a huge economic win especially since April is not football season, and since Daddy Shahid owns the team, it’s probably basically a free venue less the cost of event operations.

Run it free with existing subscription on HBO Max with any additional charge, to mitigate one of their biggest handicaps against the WWE, which is the fact that they effectively still operate on a pay-per-view model.

Capitalize on all of the western and global WWE fans who probably won’t be able to get into SaudiMania for fear of getting beheaded or just plain not being able to afford the royal cost of tickets.  Emotions are already high and resentful towards the E for running in Saudi, and if there ever was a moment in time to try and flip any fans, this would absolutely be it.

Over the last year, WWE hasn’t been shy about running counter to AEW, even though they claim that they don’t view them as competition.  And maybe it’s because they are still kind of the little brother in the real/unreal rivalry between them, AEW has for the most part avoided running shows on dates that the WWE had “claimed.”

But I’m just saying, I feel like if there was ever a chance for AEW to take the offensive and have it do some noticeable impact, running a mega show right on top of SaudiMania’s dates, could possibly be effective.  A combination of fan resentment and the likely time difference could lead to it running almost entirely unopposed, and if they deliver, could have some massive effectiveness at closing the gap with their competition.

I’m not saying such would make me a massive AEW fan for life, but I think I’m in a position where I’d prefer to see the E take a ding for their poor decision making, and if it means supporting their competition, so be it.  I don’t hate AEW by any stretch of the imagination, I just find their brand of product to be puzzling at times, but it does not meant that I wouldn’t want to see them succeed as well.  AEW being prosperous is good for the industry as a whole, certainly more than an arrangement with fucking Saudi Arabia.

Karate Kid: Legends – nobody asked for this

While coming home from a trip, I negligently forgot to bring my iPad which serves as absolutely nothing but a glorified Kindle, and I didn’t want to burn out my phone’s battery utilizing the shitty plane wifi.  However, I did remember that I had a set of wired headphones in my backpack, so I decided to actually capitalize on the in-flight entertainment and watch a movie to help chew up the flight time.

I ultimately landed on Karate Kid: Legends, because it aligned pretty well with my flight time, and this was the perfect class of film that is best seen on an airplane where I’m a captive audience, and I wouldn’t really want to watch this on my own time at home.  Despite the fact that I’m a big fan of the Karate Kid franchise in general, just about everything about this film gave me a feeling that it probably wasn’t going to be great, and as an airplane flick seemed like the most fitting place to watch it.

And almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the film was pretty much everything I thought it would be, this really mediocre ball of mediocrity that just barely did the absolute bare minimum of keeping my attention while feebly re-telling the tale of the Karate Kid for the umpteenth time to try and cater to another generation in spite of the fact that older iterations of the story do it just fine as long as modern viewers can get over their biases of things that appear older than them.

Like, the title of this post was exactly what I felt after watching Legends.  Nobody asked for this film to be made, and if anything at all, this does a massive disservice to the Karate Kid franchise as a whole, especially after Cobra Kai had built up so much equity after it’s wildly popular run.

I get that following Cobra Kai is an extremely unenviable position to be in, but there was always the option to just not make anything at all, at least for a little while, so that the mood of success and victory from CK could hang around for a little bit, before releasing something to re-ignite the fanbase.  But not only was Legends made completely unnecessarily, it was dropped in a manner of time that was frankly more detrimental to the KK universe than it would be beneficial.

Worst of all, it was just a severely mediocre story, even if it was mostly just a regurgitation of the original concept.  The general linear path of a KK re-telling was entirely there; protagonist moves to a new place, meets girl, gets beat up by local martial arts practitioner, trains up, topples adversary in a tournament, gains respect.  But the side quest of Joshua Jackson’s character being the former boxer who runs a pizza joint who borrowed money from the wrong people seemed wholly unnecessary and seemingly could have been completely cut without it really impacting the story was weird to me. 

And then of course when Jackie Chan comes to America to guide his former pupil, it was a bit cringeworthy to how forced and obvious it would be that shocker, he just so happened to know Mr. Miyagi too and naturally they were of course friends in a life long ago, which then loops in Daniel LaRusso, thus tying together the original series to Jackie Chan’s Kung Fu Kid, in the lowest of low efforts of connecting the series all together.

All while leveraging the set that was obviously put together on Netflix’s dime for Cobra Kai, which is probably the only justifiable reason to have released this as soon as they did, so that they could utilize existing sets instead of having to rebuild any shit, years later.

Worst of all, for a film called “Karate Kid” the action in the flick was pretty disappointing.  The main kid was a competent kung fu practitioner, but one bad scuffle and he basically abandons it for shitty Miyagi-Do style karate, before hitting paydirt when he blends the two styles together.  But fight sequences were pretty minimal, and for those who want to actually see some martial arts action, it’s massively underwhelming, with the tournament being 3-4 randos in weird alleyways, basketball courts and renovated bodegas before getting to his last boss which is on a rooftop like the last boss of the original Twisted Metal.

The point remains, this was a film that didn’t need to ever exist, but still happened anyway, which to me is the ultimate sign of a cash grab.  And fewer things seem to support that accusation than the absolutely lackluster performances from all performers in the film, from Jackie, to Macchio, even to Joshua Jackson and even Ming-Na Wen, whom seems to be the actress with the golden touch at how she’s somehow always able to get her finger into every notable franchise throughout her entire career.

This is where I say I’m glad that I watched this on an airplane, because I’d be really disappointed if I had seen this out in the real world, where I might have had a thousand other better things that I could’ve done with those 90 minutes.  But frankly, I still think I pulled the trigger on picking this one a little too preemptively, without at least seeing what other things I could’ve watched on Delta in-flight alternatively, but at least I got a little inspiration to make a post about it.

I guess we know who’s vying to be the next Spirit

Some friends and I were bullshitting on the topic of how Spirit Airlines is seemingly knocking at death’s door, about how if and when Spirit goes under, who takes their place in the airline pecking order, as the new budget airline that will absorb the lion’s share of ridicule and be the butt of all airline travel jokes?  Surely, one would emerge, seeing as how that’s just the natural order of nature, that if the weakest link of any category were to be cut off and killed, that someone would inevitably become the next in line.

The obvious choice would be Frontier, which is basically just Spirit Airlines but branded in green, as far as being a budget airline that lives on nickel and diming the fuck out of their customers, but for those who play it smart, a fairly serviceable option to get from point A to B.  And as someone who has flown both airlines on multiple occasions before, they really are pretty one and the same, and it would stand to believe that when Spirit goes under, those who already didn’t think Frontier was the ass-end of the airline industry, might not have any choice in the matter.

However, a surprising* contender appears to be emerging, as far as being a strong candidate to be the next Spirit, and that would be the once-reputable, once-universally beloved, once-proclaiming to love their customers, Southwest Airlines.

*or not, given the general direction of the company over the span of the last two years

Over the span of the last 12+ months, Southwest has made a tremendous amount of operational changes, with almost none of them being remotely beneficial to consumers.  First, it was them ceasing the whole open seating policy they had, which, to some was welcome, but to others, a sign of conformity and how they were taking one step closer to becoming another United or American or any other middling airline.  Then, in a move that definitely rose the ire of travelers, was the implementation of baggage fees, when for years prior, they boasted how bags flew free. 

And just over the last few days alone, Southwest has continued moving in conceivably the wrong direction, by announcing a large slew of route cuts, that will adversely affect lots of travelers from having direct options, and even had the audacity to try to spin that layovers were opportunities to see different parts of the country.  For as long as it took them to get their hooks into Atlanta, it looks like they’re already trying to reduce, with supposedly over 50% fewer flights this time next year, departing from ATL.

But one new development that is sure to draw the wrath of the internet as well as many around the country is their redefining of the large passenger policy, which was previously that large passengers could purchase a single seat, and get a second seat por gratis, if the flight could accommodate it, which was polarizingly applauded by many as a firm stance of allyship of inclusion of people of all body shapes and sizes.  Under their new policy, large passengers will have to preemptively purchase two seats if they know they will need them, and refunds of the second seat would be taken into consideration but not guaranteed, presumably on a case-by-case basis.

The latter is still probably better than what most other airlines offer, but it doesn’t take a genius to anticipate that the wrath of the internet is just going to see this as a sign of Southwest hates fat people, and when perception becomes reality, they become just like all the other airlines in the end.

The point is, Southwest is seemingly giving no more fucks about customers, contrary to the general brand reputation of theirs over the last two decades prior.  They’ve made it crystal clear that they are trying to profit in a competitive market, which is white people speak for, we know we’d probably be fine operating like we had been over the last half century, but we want to make more money now, so we’re going to say fuck the people and just do what everyone else is doing in order to achieve that.

I mean ultimately, that is the goal of every business in the world, to make money, but there are ways to do it and keep integrity and respect of the people intact, but that of course, often comes at a cost in itself, and when a bunch of old white guys run all these corporations, integrity and respect quickly fall to the wayside in pursuit of those extra nickels and dimes.

But it is funny how rapidly Southwest is selling their soul in order to go from successful company to asshole-rich successful company.  A part of me begins to wonder if Southwest isn’t deliberately tanking their company in one of those strange-but-typical modus operandi of businesses slashing expenses in a massive manner through liquidation and layoffs, in anticipation of a company sale or merger, and that Southwest is somewhere in a process of selling the company or getting absorbed by another airline.

And if so, a little more to be poured out for the airline industry, because within the guts of Southwest Airlines exists the remnants of AirTran, the budget airline that did succeed, and that I flew the shit out of, because they accomplished absolutely everything I needed out of an airline at reasonable costs.  Spirit and Frontier never could accomplish the things AirTran did, and AirTran did so well, they got assimilated into Southwest, who like Microsoft or Adobe basically did in so in order to kill a competitor.

Regardless of what happens to Southwest’s business in the future, if there was ever a bigger red flag of how they could become the next Spirit, look no further than the terminal incident out of Orlando, where a Southwest passenger went ballistic, and assaulted a terminal worker, as well as smashed up some monitors.  It’s funny because if this were actually Spirit, the lady would have been tazed and arrested within moments of the first aggression, but it’s like Southwest still has a lot to learn about unruly passengers, and she went unchecked for a while before presumably getting dealt with long after the cameras stopped rolling.

But if Southwest continues down this downward spiral, anticipate way more of this bullshit, and their gates will become the future places to meander to when you have a long wait before your flight after Spirit is gone, with hopes that you might see a street fight or a massive hot mess passenger meltdown.

Look out, tough guy Bryce Harper

ESPN: Philadelphia Phillies’ Bryce Harper ‘cusses out’ MLB commissioner Rob Manfred in regard to the topic of a salary cap

When I came across this story over feeds fed to me over social media, I had some knee-jerk reactions that I debated on commenting in some of the communities in which I saw them.  But over the passage of time, I’ve learned to be mindful of audiences, specifically understanding that certain sources have certain readers who tend to get hivemind-ey about their opinions, and daring to say anything challenging to the collective results in unproductive, attack-oriented rebuttals.

Frankly, it always serves as a reminder to why I have a brog in the first place whenever I get shitpost rebuttals from internet trogdolytes who have zero ability to make their own thoughts and exist solely to respond in the contrary to the original thoughts of others.

I have a lot of thoughts about this story about Bryce Harper vs. Rob Manfred, but mostly I have a hard time getting over the whole part of the story where a 32-year old Bryce Harper got way up into the grill of a 66-year old Rob Manfred, in an obvious act of attempted intimidation, going nose-to-nose with a man over twice his age, and thinking it was a good idea in the first place.

Admittedly, I’ve had some back-and-forth opinion about Harper throughout the years, he’s an unbelievably good baseball player, and I can admire the amount of passion he demonstrated with embarking on a mission to bring championship success to Philadelphia, despite the fact that I am rooting against such.  But that passion also goes both ways, where at times he comes off as a completely unhinged hothead, prone to enraged outbursts, sometimes justifiable, but still a bad look to be seen screaming obscenities and throwing equipment around, really leaning into that hard-nosed archetype that Philadelphians tend to really love.

But the first thoughts that ran through my head upon reading about Harper’s aggressive approach with Rob Manfred was whoa, tough guy here, getting into the grill of a 66-year old man.  Dropping f-bombs from the onset and telling him to get the fuck out of their clubhouse for daring to float the idea of a salary cap. 

And the best part was that the 66-year old Manfred reportedly responded that he would not, get the fuck out of here, and stood his ground against Harper, before another player’s cooler head prevailed and attempted to diffuse the situation by chiming in himself with questions of his own.  So, so much for Harper’s attempt to intimidate an old man, which is pretty hilarious as far as tragic failures go.

Continue reading “Look out, tough guy Bryce Harper”

Professional athlete problems

Newsweek: Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder reveals having a very specific no-trade clause; refusing to go to the Yankees, Mets, Blue Jays, Dodgers, Giants or Padres

Call me naïve, but I’ve always had the belief that it’s probably in our best interests to not put our employability at any sort of disadvantage, by doing things like putting in legal writing, refusal to go work for specific employers.  I have a wife and kids, and when the day is over, my obligations is to provide and support and I don’t really think I’m above any particular task or duty in order to accomplish such. 

Sure, there are lots of things I’d rather not do, or places or companies that I’d probably hope to have a superior alternative to, but when push comes to shove, I’ll shovel shit eight hours a day if it meant being able to provide for my family, and do my best to be the absolute best at it.

Then again, I am not a professional athlete, paid exorbitant amounts of money to play sports originating from children’s games.  I have not lost touch with poverty, living paycheck to paycheck, and the constant vigilance of every penny spent.

I am not Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder, Bryan Reynolds, who for whatever reason is very adamant about not wanting to play for a specific list of teams, effectively implying to 1/5 of Major League Baseball that he’d rather be unemployed than play for any of them.  Which to someone like me, is mind-blowing that any player would have no-trade clauses in the first place, because unless they’re true MVP-caliber talent (which Reynolds is not), they’re not going to be endearing themselves to organizations by being inflexible.

What the internet is fascinated by is the list of teams; typically lots of guys who have had no-trade clauses in the past, they typically tend to list off teams generally perceived negatively by the masses; be it that they’re cheap teams, not good teams, in smaller markets, or any combination of the above.  After all, professional athletes play to win, to make money, enjoy their lives, or, any combination of the above.

But the teams Reynolds listed: the Yankees, Mets, Blue Jays, Dodgers, Giants and Padres – very few of the negatives really apply to them, and very much of the positives do.  Currently, all of them are either division leaders or are very much in the postseason picture, and they’re all squads based out of major New York and California markets or Toronto.  All of these teams are very liberal with their spending and all have budgets north of the median MLB payroll.

The immediate joke was that Bryan Reynolds has no actual desire to win, or be a part of a championship squad, seeing as how he plays for the perpetually middling Pittsburgh Pirates, and seems to only refuse to go to squads known for contending.  And the funniest thing is that when called out for such, by once-peers, Reynolds has gone out of his way to defend himself on the internet, validating the idea that he does in fact pay attention to the internet and what others might be saying about him, thus making him owned, but that’s beside the point.

Nerds on the internet were quick to point out that the list of teams Reynolds refuses accept trades to, correlates with high income tax rates, which New York and California do have, and Toronto being in Canada, is subject to massive taxation, which I guess does suck for an American paying Canadian taxes and getting no benefits for it.

However, Bryan Reynolds is a professional athlete, making professional athlete money, netting $12.25M this season and will continue to make more, over the next five years, as he signed an eight-year, $108M deal back in 2023.  Yes, it sucks to know that 40-50% of your income is immediately lost to Uncle Sam, but when the day is over, he’s still pulling in $6M+ a year after that motherfucker takes his pound of flesh.  

It’s hard to feel much empathy for any professional athlete making millions of dollars to play children’s games, and it’s extra puzzling how stingy it would be if income taxes really were the reason why he would block a trade to six of the upper tier of MLB franchises, where he would not only continue to make the contractually obligated millions he’s owed, but he could improve his general brand and parlay it into higher earning opportunities in stronger markets.

What’s funny to me however, is the fact that I don’t know if it’s ignorance or maybe he only does want to play for non-contending losers, but the Oakland Las Vegas Sacramento The A’s are not on his list.  The Dodgers, Padres and Giants being on it makes it sound like he’s avoiding California, but for the next three years, the A’s are still in the state, playing in a very fitting minor league ballpark, considering how the franchise is operated, and it would be hilarious if Bryan Reynolds were to get shipped out there, and his no-trade clause wouldn’t be able to prevent it from happening.  He would then be subject to California’s 13.3% income tax rate, and he’d be playing in a minor league ballpark, for a glorified minor league franchise.

Furthermore, I knew nothing about the guy before finding out about this story, but it’s interesting to deduce his journey through his statistics alone.  He debuted in 2019, had three well above average seasons with one injury-marred flop in the middle, but impressive enough to make the Pirates offer him a huge nine-figure deal to buy out his arbitration seasons and secure him for the next eight.  And in classic, got-the-bag player performance, he has two okay seasons but aren’t even close to the heights he reached in his 6.0 bWAR 2021 season, but apparently the man has fallen off a cliff in this 2025 season, already worth a horrendous -0.7 bWAR at the time I’m writing this.

He’s still going to be due nearly $75M over the next six seasons, and considering the downward trend he’s headed now, it’ll probably be the last big money he’s going to make in his career, so I suppose he should be trying his best to avoid getting shipped off to somewhere where nearly half of it is going to be assimilated by the IRS.

Either way, my final word on Bryan Reynolds is that man be dumb, blacklisting some of the richest and contending teams in the league.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with being in it just to make money, but me personally, anyone who doesn’t want to win while getting rich is missing something, and I’d rather them get the fuck out and make way for someone who wants everything including the bag.

When the Pirates do inevitably move him, because he still fits the mold of a good trade chip, I hope he gets shipped off to The A’s, Rockies, White Sox, Marlins or some other shitty mid franchise who have no desire to win.  To which, at this point in time, the Braves would actually be a club that might work with him, but here’s hoping that doesn’t happen, because I sure as fuck don’t want a dork like him.