Draconian Punishments: driving with cell phones

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been driven to my wit’s end because of people constantly driving around while distracted by their cell phones.  It doesn’t seem to matter that such behavior is classified as illegal and ticketable by a police officer, but the reality is that there simply aren’t enough cops out there monitoring for this shitty behavior, and they’d most likely be disinterested in ticketing people for cell phone use when there’s speeders and even more reckless drivers on the road to keep vigil for.

At least once a day for the last few weeks, I’ve identified situations where I’ve nearly been merged into, witnessed someone absent-mindedly drive into a potentially harmful situation, or simply not gone on a light-turned green, if not multiple of the above.  My favorite (read: the shit that infuriates me the most) are the people whom you can see their heads dipped down, as the foot comes off the gas when their eyes leave the road, and they slow to dangerously slow speeds while they check something on their phones, and then resume driving like a retard when they realize they need to pay attention to the fucking road again.

Needless to say, I have laid down on my horn on nearly a daily basis, and I’m absolutely sick and tired of people on the roads who can’t seem to get the fuck off their cell phones.  Such doesn’t change much on people outside of their cars, but at least the repercussions of their idiocy aren’t necessarily potentially lethal (as much).

Regardless, the only way that this behavior is ever going to improve is to integrate draconian punishments for those caught violating the rules.  Fear of tickets and fines aren’t good enough, as it feels like 80% of drivers are still content to drive around with their eyes anywhere but the essential view ahead of them, so I think we the world, need to change things up.

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This is precisely why Northern Virginia wants to secede

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I want to do nothing but make fun of the fact that they’re all carrying tiki torches, probably purchased for $3 a pop at their local Walmart or convenience store, and how they probably bitch about how fuel costs more than the hardware itself.  And how it’s hard to really take them seriously because they’re protecting themselves from mosquitos at the same time they’re marching like sheep, preaching bigoted messages of white purity and some other hateful rhetoric.

But it’s because of the bigoted messages of white purity and some other hateful rhetoric that I can’t just laugh at the tiki torches, and instead have to wince and acknowledge that somehow, this is 2017 and not 1917.

Here’s the thing – I am a native Virginian.  I was born in Virginia, and spent 21 years of my life in Virginia.  Seeing shit like large, organized white supremacy groups marching down the campus of the University of Virginia is something that I never thought I would really see in my lifetime, and really, really makes me glad that I don’t live in Virginia anymore.  It makes me ashamed of the state I was born in and grew up in, and I wish I could deny my Virginia origins.

This isn’t a post about a topic because it’s topical, it’s a post because there is a part of me that has some relation to the situation in the fact that this shit is happening not that far from where I grew up.

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Now this is a tragic spill

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Unfortunately, it didn’t happen in Georgia, so it can’t be the mother of food payload spills, but it still warrants a few words, just because of how tragic it is.  But a truck full of DiGiorno and Tombstone frozen pizzas tipping over and spilling its delicious cargo all over the highway?  That’s a god damn shame.

Seriously though, I’ve often waxed poetic about the sequence of trucks spilling on Georgia highways making some sort of mythical banquet, but just about every combination of things from Georgia’s list would pale in comparison to a gigantic, Cici’s Buffet-caliber buffet of frozen pizzas.

Because pizzas are among the world’s most perfect foods, encapsulating everything into a fairly compact and often well-combined entrée, and considering no utensils are necessary, once you get the pizzas, all you really need are occasional beverages.

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When kids make grown-up money

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I was in the fifth grade, I was a huge Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fan.  This was one of those things that publicly amongst my school peers, I kept under wraps because that shit was for kid-kids, i.e., the ones in the third grade or younger.  Yet I was still captured by the campy acting, bad voiceovers and the fight footage more sliced and spliced together than a Kardashian.

I even learned how to program my VCR timer because of Power Rangers, because the show always came on at 2:30 when I didn’t get home from school until like 3:45.  That’s how much I grew to love Power Rangers, that I forced myself to learn things in order to enjoy a mindless and stupid kids show.

That particular winter, when Power Rangers really began merchandising, I decided that I really wanted a MegaZord and/or a DragonZord.  I wasn’t necessarily a Transformers or Voltron fan, but I loved the Transformers/Voltron-like manner in which the Zords transformed and connected together, and I really, really, really wanted some Zord toys of my own.

Unfortunately, this winter was the winter when Power Rangers toys were the hot item for the holiday season.  The equivalent of Tickle Me Elmo, Furbies, hoverboards, NES Classics, or whatever that one thing is during each holiday season in which there aren’t ever enough of, and the demand becomes so great, it achieves a modicum of mainstream attention at just how hard it is to get them, perpetuating the cycle of unavailability to the next level. 

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The wrestling belt display rail

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This is a wall in my office.  It makes me tremendously happy whenever I look at it.  Fewer things I’ve created in my life give me the amount of satisfaction that an eight-foot plank of wood with some boat snaps in it does currently.  Mostly because it was an idea that came to me that executed nearly as accurately to its concept as I had imagined it, and there’s seldom better feelings than when a plan goes according to plan.

While I was living in an apartment during the transitional phase between homes, my treasured wrestling belts had all sat in storage.  I always knew and treated the apartment like the transitional domicile, and put little effort into doing much decoration or adorning it with much of my own personal effects.  The belts remained in storage because I didn’t feel like unpacking them, I didn’t want to bother re-packing them, and frankly they’ve always been something of a challenge to display without consuming too much space.

When I moved into my new house where the whole world of home living was full of possibilities, I actually didn’t have much clue on what I was going to do with my belts.  I knew that I had dedicated one bedroom to become my personal office space, and that’s where I wanted to have my belts, but the question was always how I was going to display them.

My old corner shelf was no longer an option, because it only had five shelves and I now had ten belts, and being the stickler for symmetry, refused to have half my belts displayed in one fashion, and the other five displayed alternatively. 

I didn’t want to go the route of a glass display cases, because wrestling belts are no small things, and with ten of them, I would require a lot of glass display, which would also have been very costly, and frankly space consuming.  I know a new, larger house has lots of extra space to accommodate things, but I’m also kind of minimalist and don’t like too many bulky things to make me feel claustrophobic.

I liked the idea of hanging my belts off the wall, because being on the wall would mean they wouldn’t be on the floor, and not being on the floor would mean they weren’t necessarily cluttering up my place.  But I was really very much against the idea of affixing them to the wall like the Miz does, because he’s actually drilling screws through the physical belts themselves; I know he’s a professional wrestler who probably gets his replicas for cheap if not free, but I don’t, and I care for my belts a little bit more to where I don’t want to physically add any holes that I don’t feel needed to be added.

My thought was, why not use hardware that already existed?  As in the snaps on the belt themselves?  But wouldn’t affixing snaps be perilous and risk coming undone, especially under the weight of belts, which can weigh anywhere from 8-13 lbs. each?

But then a cursory search revealed the existence of screwable marine snaps, which would be the perfect things to bore into a plank of wood, to which I could then paint to match my wall and hang up to hold my belt collection.  And then the idea was underway.

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Another reason why the NFL is stupid

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I don’t particularly care much about Colin Kaepernick.  I thought he was arrogant, but more importantly he played for the 49ers and I think all San Francisco sports teams have the most entitled and insufferable sports fans on the planet, therefore I dislike them.  But there’s no denying his talent; he’s a pretty capable quarterback with a decent arm, good instincts and great mobility.  And then there’s the 2012 season where he basically put the entire franchise on his back and nearly single-handedly carried the franchise to a Super Bowl victory was nothing short of incredible, and a good indication of what kind of talent he was capable of unleashing.

And I’ll be the first to say that I wasn’t particularly keen on his decision to refuse to stand for the National Anthem, because I thought it was selfish and disrespectful, but ultimately as Americans, we have the right to choose to do things like such, regardless of what other think.  Ultimately, it was such choices that have led to his blatant and obvious blackballing by the NFL, and at time I’m writing this, Colin Kaepernick has no team and has no job in the NFL.

The thing is, it’s not because there aren’t teams that don’t need capable quarterbacks; the Browns, Dolphins and especially the Jets come to mind.  None of them truly have a QB that’s a lock to start the season, and there’s a litany of names being thrown around just those three teams; some, whom people have heard of, like Johnny Manziel and Robert Griffin III, some, nobody has heard of, like the guys all competing for the Jets’ starting job, and then there’s Jay Cutler who went from one accursed franchise, the Bears to another accursed franchise, the Dolphins.

Colin Kaepernick does not have a job, because the NFL has a personal problem with the man, and is letting it affect the professional fortunes of him, as well as any team that might benefit from the acquisition of an athlete like him.

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Good intentions, predictable outcome

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Didn’t see that coming: grassroots movement declaring a ceasefire in Baltimore, challenging the city to ‘nobody kill anybody’ over a 72-hour period, results in two men dead from gunshots

I hate to (I really don’t) goof on what’s ultimately very good intentioned, but come on – this is Baltimore we’re talking about.  This is a city in America where the life expectancy is something that sounds like medieval times, when the bubonic plague was ravaging the realm, that’s how much violence is a problem there.  It may sound like a cliché to some, but there is a shred of reality in the notion of surviving each day, because violence in Baltimore isn’t just commonplace, it’s a way of life.

I’m not (entirely) saying all this because I love to take potshots at Baltimore; I’ve seen the looming threat and constant presence of violence in that god-forsaken city.  I remember when my mom wanted to be alone for a weekend, she’d jettison my sister and I off to Baltimore to stay with an aunt and cousin who lived in the deepest, darkest part of Baltimore, and I remember hearing the nightly routine of dirtbikes and ATVs that buzzed down Monroe Street that were speculated to be MS-13 drug trails.  I’ve seen fights on the streets, and I knew a friend of an acquaintance who was jumped and hospitalized in ICU during an Otakon, in a very populated area near the Harbor.

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