How to invalidate Ohio State’s educational credibility

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The moment I saw that Cardale Jones graduated from Ohio State, I didn’t even have to look it up to assume that his degree was in African-American studies.  And then because I like to be proven correct, I looked it up, and sure enough, Cardale Jones’ major was African-American studies.

For those who do not really follow sports, Cardale Jones was a former athletic ringer at Ohio State who was brought in solely to play football, and made an imbecile of himself on social media when he said:

Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain’t come to play SCHOOL, classes are POINTLESS

Basically admitting that he was no scholar and was an athletic ringer that only served to feed the NCAA machine and make money for others for the opportunity to audition for the chance to make millions for himself.

The point is, Cardale Jones was surprisingly no genius, and it was even less of a surprise when he dipped out of school early to go into the NFL, where he’s basically a third-string quarterback for the Buffalo Bills. 

Let me repeat, third string quarterback for the Buffalo Bills.

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Doesn’t sound like this was part of the plan

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Let’s not forget that MARTA is still MARTA; despite the diabolical ploy to destroy roads to get more people to use the service, MARTA is still MARTA and tripping over themselves in ways like trains catching fire, leading to mass underground evacuations, should not be unexpected.

Yeah, pretty sure this wasn’t a part of Keith Parker’s plan, much like gun fights at MARTA stations, but I’ve always had the belief in business that you cannot expect to succeed if you lose sight of what brought you to the dance.  In the case of MARTA, Keith Parker has been so wrapped up in his evil plan to sabotage Atlanta roadways, that he’s neglecting to do his part of the job that involves actually watching over MARTA itself, and shit like trains catching fire are happening.

In spite of how concerning and probably scary it was for those riding on the train to see the cars fill up with smoke, I’m a little fascinated by if I were on the train when it happened.  I’ve always been curious of what it would be like to walk through an underground train path, like those hippie urban explorers used to do up in New York City, illegally, but in the case of these MARTA riders, it was the only option, and completely sanctioned.  They’d get to walk through sections of Atlanta nobody ever sees, save for MARTA or city maintenance people, and I think that’d have been kind of cool.

Either way, amusing story nonetheless.  MARTA has been something of a little savior in light of all the road problems throughout the city, but also can’t help tripping over themselves when their trains catch fire.  It’s like a golden ticket was given to the company, and they’re so overjoyed with the opportunity that they’re losing sight of the actual operations part of the MARTA and allowing shit like fires and gun fights restrain just how much growth and goodwill they can actually gain from it.

That’s MARTA for us all, though; unending unintentional ironic humor.

Well that’s one way to counteract enrollment because of the HOPE Scholarship

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Gotta lean right again every now and then, I guess: Georgia governor Nathan Deal signs off of House Bill 280, thus making it official that licensed gun owners can now legally carry concealed weapons onto Georgia public college campuses

Welp, marking Cinco de Mayo 2017 as the date is fairly easy enough to remember when to start the count of days until a pretty senseless and preventable gun-related death on a Georgia college campus happens, at least.  Mark my words, this is not a matter of ‘if’ this happens, it is entirely a matter of ‘when’ it does.

Believe me, I’m more than willing to eat crow and put in writing that I was wrong, if it turns out that an incident of where a licensed gun owner prevents or stops crime from happening happens first, but I wouldn’t put money on it.  The invention of firearms in the first place is inherently negatively connoted, and no measure of regulating or attempting to control them changes the fact that negative intentions are always the reason for firearms being inserted into any equation.

Ironically, of course, I just love how stupid all the terminology and word selection that led to HB 280’s original failure and eventual success; like how originally it failed to pass because of the concern that without text and legalese, then licensed owners would be allowed to carry firearms into “day cares, disciplinary hearings and faculty and administrative offices.”

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Close enough IT’S MARTA

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I did predict that something else was going to happen: water main erupts on Roswell Road, causing a massive sinkhole, causing debilitating traffic to Roswell residents attempting to commute into Sandy Springs or Atlanta

The incident occurred mere miles away from the North Springs MARTA station, the current end of the Red line.  This does not do any favors to any Roswell, Alpharetta or further northern communities, as they still will have to slog down GA-400 in order to take MARTA.

SO CONSIDER THIS TOO A MESSAGE, north Fulton/Milton whatever you WASPy NIMBYs want to call yourselves way the fuck up north.  Cobb county got their message a little while ago, now it’s time for the white suburbs way up north to get their message too, that perhaps some extended MARTA service up to their communities might not be such a bad idea.  I mean, the proposal for the Red line to go all the way up to Windward Parkway is nothing new, but shit like this, like seeing Roswell Rd. go down is just what the people might need to see in order to be reminded of just how beneficial it could be to have an alternate means available to them, and to perhaps stop dragging feet in rolling this out, so that things like this can be alleviated in the future.

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I would like a Grand Vitara now pls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of the better things I’ve seen in my life recently: Proud owner of a 1996 Suzuki Grand Vitara makes the most epic commercial for the sale of his car in the history of mankind

Among the things in our lives that my brother and I still reference to our very old ages is the phrase “standard;” used ironically to describe things that aren’t impressive but we try to make it sound such anyway.  It all derived from this parody of a Dodge Aries commercial we saw back in like, 1999, that we still chuckle about today.

Figure that back in 1999, they were spoofing a car back from 1988, and we come to present day, and now there’s an epic commercial for a car that is apparently from, 1996.  Obviously, technology has changed a good deal since then, and no such capabilities are left out of this amazing digital love letter to the Suzuki Grand Vitara.

The amazing thing about the video is that it starts off modestly, and much like the Aries commercial, the overinflation of the basic features, presented ironically as if they were spaceship technologies.  But throughout the escalation of epicness, I felt that it never really peaks and simply continues to get better without ever declining.

Seriously, from running away from T-Rex, chasing the War Rig, to somehow ending up on the surface of the moon, it just gets more and more outrageously funny, before it doubles me over with the Back to the Future reappearance in the end before the unfortunate end to such a grand masterpiece.

Regardless, as a whole, this video is one of the better things I’ve seen lately.  It’s ironic, it’s well made and above all, it’s hilarious.  Kudos to the guy who made it, and I imagine anyone who watches this would want a 20-year old Grand Vitara themselves now as well.  I certainly do.

Unexpected, but unsurprising

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I can’t for the life of my say that I’m at all surprised by this: Sean Waltman AKA X-Pac, busted with a whole lot of drugs with the intent to sell

My friend texted me this story, along with the commentary that this was the least surprising story in the world.  I can’t say that I disagree one bit.  X-Pac getting busted for pot and meth seems about as much of a shocker as finding out Lance Bass was gay on the cover of People magazine.  Perhaps it’s the fact that X-Pac has looked like the living embodiment of a sexual transmitted disease for the better part of his professional life makes it seem like such a no-brainer, or perhaps it’s the fact that he’s allegedly been connected to lots of drug use in his life previously that does it.

An unsubstantiated remark sure, but he did make a sex tape with Chyna (RIP); it happening without the aid of some drugs seems kind of unbelievable too.

Whatever though, there’s just something funny about seeing anything at all about X-Pac in the news.  He’s pretty much a living joke, and even the mere mention of the phrase “X-Pac” is enough to draw snickers out of anyone who’s ever watched pro-wrestling in the 90s.  The fact that he was dumb enough to be caught with a ton of drugs in the first place just adds to the amusement in the story, because of course X-Pac, the guy who made the better part of his career chopping an X over this genitals and saying “suck it” on cable television whom one of his signature moves was shoving his crotch in the face of a prone opponent, was caught with a ton of drugs.

There’s really not a whole lot of additional commentary I can add to this, as much as I’d have expected to churn out a thousand words about the topic.  X-Pac’s always been reputed as a scumbag, so to see him getting caught for actually being one isn’t at all surprising.  Again, it’s just more amusing that X-Pac is in the news again at all.  At least his other Kliq buddies have sort of been doing some less illegal things with their lives lately, like visiting a buddy who opened up his very own Shoney’s.  God damn, does Scott Steiner look like a fucking jacked Colonel Sanders in that photo.

I got nothing else.  X-Pac, lol.

When the pen is truly mightier

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s extremely difficult to use that phrase without thinking of SNL, but honestly in a potential case like this, there’s really no phrase that is more succinct or accurate to the situation.  Basically, because six redneck state reps are so eager and desperate to have guns be allowed on Georgia campuses, they neglected to have any proofreader go over their revision to the Campus Carry bill, and let it fly with a pretty ambiguous word choice, that if the bureaucratic process works the way it does both ways, could effectively kill it.  Again.  Until the next time it pops back up.

Long story short, because of improper use of commas, there is a sentence that suddenly becomes very vague, ambiguous and is subject to having numerous different definitions, subject to the eye of the beholder.  Yeah, as often as it unfortunately does pass, the law really shouldn’t be one of those things that’s supposed to be vague and up to interpretation:

Not apply to faculty, staff, or administrative offices or rooms where disciplinary proceedings are conducted.

The ambiguous line in its entirety.  Anyone notice where it seems weird?

Basically, it’s a weird double-clause, and even a potential double-negative.  Smarter people than I have deduced that there are potentially eight different ways this line could be interpreted; from what I can tell, some of the more humorously ironic ones would be:

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