Since I’m going to be up in NOVA this weekend, so that I can watch baseball, meet Hacksaw Jim Duggan, be reminded of how old as fuck I am at Otakon, meet the Green Ranger, and watch more baseball, I thought about hitting up Malibu Grill, for old times’ sake. The good one, the one in Falls Church, the one that really started it all. Not the one in Fair Lakes, the one that used to be the Bertucci’s where I used to work when I was 16, the one that ultimately ended up turning into half a Chinese restaurant.
I don’t think I’m going to come to parents’ house, like ever again. I don’t even think I’m going to be sleeping in my old bedroom tonight, for that matter. Jesus Christ ain’t got nothing on this demon from hell.
Whether or not it was a brown recluse or not is irrelevant. I actually think it was one. Regardless, I still beat it to death from a safe distance, with a baseball bat. A metal one. Silverfish, deer crickets, spider-crickets, I can deal with those things. But brown recluses? With their poison that dissolves canyons into human flesh??? No way, no fucking way. I love my old bedroom and my old bed, but I’m having some serious second thoughts about sleeping in that potential death trap now.
I really enjoy nature television shows. When I saw promos for National Geographic’s Untamed Americas series, I immediately set a DVR timer for it.
Overall, I think the four-episode series was a little on the weak side, but I get the impression that their field crew got a handful of amazing video and shots, that series like this are created, so they could have a place to showcase them. For every amazing footage of a spirit bear or an owl, there are usually clips of wolves or cougars and other predators failing at capturing their prey.
But if there was one thing that genuinely stuck with me watching the series, it would have to be this fox somewhere in the arctic.
Obviously I’m not some authority on women’s fashion, but I know what I like to see as a guy. That being said, what I don’t like seeing these days is the unfortunate trend that high-wasted shorts are supposedly in fashion for women these days. I don’t get it at all; it’s ugly as fuck. Only a small percentage of girls seem to be able to actually pull it off and not look silly, but there’s a fairly slim percentage that also coincidentally have the right shape and figure in order to make that happen.
It’s like a cross between mom’s closet and/or trying to look like the kind of hippies that aren’t desirable. In terms of functionality, I’d guess high-waist stuff is vastly superior at covering up stomachs some chicks don’t want to show, or prevent the peeking of panties and all, but frankly, I find the overall look to abhorring. It accentuates girls with short legs by making their torsos look longer, and much like the weird poofy-squash skirts that used to be trendy, it creates this odd shape of Urkel-high waist with a short segue into the boobs. And then there’s the irony of when girls try to wear high-waist shorts sexy, by wearing them tight, or they’re Daisy Duke-short; sure it might hug the ass and ride up in a sexy way, but because they go up so high, it makes the booty look giant and/or elongated. Hence, unsexy.
Almost coincidentally just days after I witnessed some sorry excuse for a human being run over a dead dog carcass, this interesting study emerged. Long story short: person conducts experiment where fake animals are placed on the shoulder of a road, and then he watches 1,000 cars drive by to see how many people go out of their way to harm what they think might be a living creature.
94% of people are thankfully, fortunately sane and normal, and do not deliberately make efforts to swerve into the shoulder to run over an animal. Unfortunately, that means 6% of people do. Roughly sixty people out of a thousand feel the need to exhibit their existential superiority over an animal, by killing it; behind the armor of a 2,700+ pound shield of plastics, metals and rubber moving at around 55+ mph.
I won’t elaborate on everything, since it is an interesting read and video, but it’s worth mentioning that out of those sixty worthless fucks, 89% of them were driving SUVs. Much like GMC Yukon.
I won’t wish any further harm on these miserable sacks of shit that get their rocks off on running over animals, but I wouldn’t shed a tear or feel an iota of guilt if any of these people were severely hurt, injured, or killed in a car accident.
The most epic comeback ever happened tonight, and I didn’t watch a single second of the game. But in a way, it kind of fell according to plan, because frankly, the Braves have a pretty decent track record when I don’t miss the game it seems, and this is the second time this season the Braves have come back from at least an eight-run deficit and managed to win, with me missing the entire thing in the process.
