Guess which player Alabamans love?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Brad Coon is a player on the Montgomery Biscuits, and people really love to cheer for him.

The strange thing is that Brad Coon is not a supremely talented baseball player.  Brad Coon is 29-years old, and in his seventh year playing exclusively minor league baseball.  The Montgomery Biscuits are a AA-level minor league team, and the typical age for AA players with legitimate futures is typically anywhere from 20-23 years old.  In years prior, Brad Coon played for AAA-level affiliates for the Angels, Dodgers and Nationals, but upon landing with the Rays, they assigned him to AA.

So Brad Coon is considered way old for his level of competition, but his current statistics indicate that it’s fairly appropriate in terms of skill.  Which is another way of me saying that Brad Coon isn’t exactly the most talented baseball player in the world.

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Mass Effect romances, explained by Saved by the Bell

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Throughout playing the Mass Effect series, one of the more intriguing side objectives is pursuing a relationship. Each of the three games gives you choices for your Commander Shepards to pursue, and depending on if you import your data from one game to the other, it mildly alters the relationship paths, based on your choices from ME1 to ME2 to ME3. Which is one of the only things you really can alter, to say the least. Oops; did I write that out loud?

Anyway, with the number of possible relationships available throughout the series, it got me thinking. Which is never a good thing, because then we end up with the conclusion that Commander Shepard is pretty much the futuristic Zack Morris of the galaxy. And that all possible relationships throughout the Mass Effect series, are easily relatable to all of the girls that Zack Morris was involved with at some point throughout the entire Saved by the Bell series.

Naturally, since I’ve only played as the male Shepard, we’re only going to go through his potential conquests. Suffice to say, these are probably classified as spoilers if you haven’t played through all three games yet.

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A pet peeve

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Say you’re driving down a very desolate, flat straight road out in the middle of nowhere.  You can see far ahead and far behind you for miles.  You’re also driving with a friend who is driving their own car.  For whatever reason, you wish to drive parallel to your friend, so you hop into the oncoming lane, and begin driving right next to your friend.

Eventually, in the distance you see a car coming.  What do you do?

Obviously, you let off the gas, and get back behind your friend, or space permitting, you apply the gas, and get in front.  Otherwise, you  will end up in a head-on collision, and probably someone ends up dead, or at least severely injured.

If the answer is so simple when it comes to driving cars, why is it so difficult for people to grasp when simply walking?

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How ‘bout them apples

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I kind of want an iPad.  The new one.  The one called “The New iPad.”  Regardless of if it’s going to one day have an awkward transitional phase to something other than “The New,” when it’s technically no longer new.  In fact, it’s been around long enough to where I wouldn’t consider it very new anymore, already.

But no matter, I still kind of want one.  I’m very much aware of the fact that it’s very much a glorified and extremely expensive toy, but it doesn’t change the fact that I would still like one.  It’s not going to replace my netbook or my laptop as something I could actually brog substantially from, and I don’t even know a whole lot of function I would get out of it.  Maybe I’d play every single Angry Birds level again, pursuing three stars.  Supposedly Final Fantasy Tactics is re-released for iOS, which I’d probably get.  I guess it has substantially better life than my netbook could to watch movies on.  But not much else.  It’s a toy, I know.

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What exactly can possibly be illegal about eyelashes?

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No seriously, I’m genuinely curious to the marketing behind this cosmetic product.  “Illegal Length” mascara?  What could possibly be illegal about the length of one’s eyelashes?

Does lengthening eyelashes from 3/16th of an inch to a full 1/8th trigger some carnal rape mechanism in surrounding men, forcing them onto women, giving them a legal reason to sue and cash in?

Does lengthening eye lashes with this stuff make eyelashes long and spiny as a porcupine’s spines, and just as lethal?  Where women with this stuff applied can literally peck things to death with their illegally-long eyelashes?

Does putting this stuff on your eyelashes give your eyelashes the ability to light-write racist and anti-Semitic remarks in public places?

Because if neither of these are true, I can’t really fathom how anything could possibly make eyelashes illegal.  I get that there is a perceived arousing/sexy appeal to the naughty and forbidden, and “illegal” describes just that, but c’mon, this is for fucking eyelashes.  What’s illegal about eyelashes?  If this is the precedent being set by companies, and attempting to appeal to the lowest, horniest denominator, I may as well go put the patent on “Super Sexy Doritos,” “Illegal Water,” and “Forbidden Cereal.”

What does this Korean kid have in common with Brian Urlacher?

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They’re both professionals.

Obviously, I can’t use the term “athlete” for the professional gamer, because there’s absolutely nothing athletic about PC gaming.  No matter how much professional gaming tries to imbue physical statistics into gaming, like how fast a guy can click on a mouse.

I came across this Kotaku article, and going through it it set off a wide range of emotions and thoughts, and here I sit, brogging away about it.  It’s no secret to me these days that gaming is taken pretty seriously back in the Motherland, and even my parents have made the backhand remark that perhaps I should have gone somewhere with my own adolescent gaming habits, regardless of how hard they disapproved it back then.  But it’s gotten to the point in Korea, where I kind of look at how seriously it’s taken, and feel nothing but a wide range of negatively-connotative emotions.

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Real Men Don’t Wear Small update: Riverwalk Stadium, Montgomery, Alabama

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My latest baseball travels took me out to Montgomery, Alabama for some minor league baseball action.  There, I visited Riverwalk Stadium, home of the Montgomery Biscuits, the AA affiliates of the Tampa Bay Rays.  Out of all of the minor league ballparks that I’ve been to, I would rank Riverwalk Stadium very high up on it, and it’s easily the best park I’ve been to out of the paltry four AA parks I’ve visited.  The best part about it is that it’s close enough to where I’d actually consider going again in the future.