Great idea for a new movie

This past weekend, I found myself watching some movies, which included Rubber, and Sucker Punch.  Despite the fact that both movies have absolutely nothing in common in terms of plot, setting, eras, or even actors, I found out that they actually have one gigantic thing in common: Neither of the movies made any fucking sense.  I guess you could also say they had some other things in common, like that they both stunk, and were both disappointing.

But I’m not going to lie, I did find it somewhat thought provoking, the essential premise of Rubber, that there is an awareness inherently that there is a ton in the world around us that exists and/or happens for absolutely no reason at all.   Sucker Punch, however, was a piece of shit, that if not for the obvious eye candy of Emily Browning parading around in a 13-year old’s wet dream, and in the like-minded sarcastic, unimpressed company in which I watched it with, I probably wouldn’t have bothered to sit through.

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Deadbeat college football fans lol

This is kind of riotous to me. I like college football pretty well, but the sheer infatuation expressed by some people down here in SEC country is downright pathetic. I don’t have particularly high regard to the collective intelligence of the various fanbases’ hive mentalities, but if I could place any two at the very bottom of the barrel, it would most definitely be Alabama and Auburn; it’s not much of a coincidence to me that they’re both in the state of Alabama. However, with that in mind, I really have to take my hat off to this Alabama police department for coming up with an ingenious, sadistic, and twisted trap plan to bust deadbeat parents who haven’t been paying their child support – make them think they’ve won something, before taking away from them everything… brilliant!

I love watching this parade of deadbeats of all races and genders, succumbing to their mindless allegiance to either Alabama or Auburn at the obviously too-good-to-be-true news that they’ve won free tickets to the Iron Bowl (annual game pitting the two schools), and show up all happy and joyous, before they’re tricked and arrested. Not too shabby of a plan, coming from the dregs of the southern states. Well done.

I have never wanted to do anything more than this in a long time

The skinny: A 5K run in Bumfuck, Maryland, that has obstacles, rugged terrain, and oh yeah, ZOMBIES.  October 22nd (A Saturday), and it apparently costs like $67 entry to run, and prove your survival instincts and physical prowess. I’m trying to temper my expectations since zombie paintball in Kissimmee kind of blew, but damn I would be lying if I didn’t say my heart was excited and greatly looking forward to this event.

Naturally, I post this information, because I really really want friends to get in on this, even if it means the rigors and expenses of travel, lodging (possibly camping), and the physical nature of the event, but seriously, this looks like it could be the very most fun event in the entire world.

Photos: Dexter’s Condominium

Behold – the real life condominium where Dexter Morgan lived in, in the greatest show in the world, Dexter.  I found out where it was located through a fan website, and decided that I had to see it with my own two eyes.

To no surprise, it’s a gated community, with seemingly no real car entrance in front of it.  Dexter’s condo, which is towards the right tip of the shown photograph, is actually the back part of this property, and there’s no way to just pass by in a car, since it faces the Biscayne Bay Harbor (Butcher).  But I am a determined individual, and as easy as it would have been to hop the low fence they have to keep trespassers out, I simply relegated to sticking my body through some shrubs and palm trees, and taking some paparazzi-style pictures from within the foliage.

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Photos: Miami Trip, Day 2

An ice truck in Miami.  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Day 2 of my trip to Miami featured a little bit of beach, more baseball back at Marlins’ SunLiphinShark Player Robbie Stadium which more or less kind of sucked to no surprise, and then a little bit of evening wandering around South Beach after the previously shown kayaking experience.  BTW, kayaking renting done through South Beach Kayak, to which I would highly recommend if anyone else were to be interested in doing the same.

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Photos: Kayaking in South Beach Miami

This was easily the best activity I did while down in Miami, and if there’s anything at all that salvaged my opinion of the city entirely, this would be it.  I got to rent a kayak for two hours, and paddle around the south end of Biscayne Bay, and although I didn’t visit Monument Island like most other kayakers do (I wasn’t made aware of it), I still had an absolute blast paddling around the bay, going underneath bridges, causeways and shit, and simply enjoying the Miami sun, breeze, and views of the city.

I also learned that Miami really is a lot of what they show on television and movie montages, meaning at all times of the daylight, are there speedboats, yachts, and jet skis flying around, all being ridden by hot sexy co-eds with six pack abs, fake tits, tight asses, and skimpy bikinis.  Not that I’m complaining in the least bit, I just thought it was funny that it really was reality, and not just glamorized truths by the media.

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Miami and I seem to be incompatible

Disclaimer: This rant was originally written at close to 4:00 a.m., before I went to bed after my first day in Miami, Florida.

I don’t want to jump the gun here too much, and the truth is that I am having a good time down here in Miami so far. I should really be asleep, since I have to be up in less than five hours to ensure that my rental car isn’t ticketed for when the parking lot goes from free parking, into pay parking for the prime parts of the beach days, but I’ve got a lot on my mind about my experiences in the city of Miami so far, and I’d like to get them in writing while they’re still fresh on my mind.

In short, Miami is no doubt a lively, bustling city, but the truth is that this is most absolutely definitely certainly not a place I’d ever want to fathom living. In my opinion, Miami sucks, and I’m not going to miss this place one bit when my trip is over.  Some of my favorite shows like Dexter and Nip/Tuck may take place here, but damn if those shows do a fantastic job of making this place look a whole hell of a lot better than the cesspool that I’m finding this place to be.

Now part of it can be my fault for taking the same cost-effective approach I take on my of my other baseball road trips, but the truth is that such an approach has yielded some genuinely good results in the past.  It’s just this approach in Miami has me led to believe that this is possibly one of the worst places in the country.

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