When everyone has a hundo, nobody does

Despite the fact that I do play a little bit pretty much every single day, I actually don’t have a whole lot of knowledge of what’s going on in Pokémon Go.  I don’t read the patch notes, updates, or even pay much attention to whenever Professor Willow shoehorns himself onto the screen to tell me of some missions that are afoot.  I just play a little bit every day, try and do daily research, attempt to complete as many of the weekly tasks as I can, hatch eggs, and make some modicum of progress in levels.

To what end, I have no idea, and typing this all out, I kind of realize just how fruitless my ambition in the game really is.  It’s just something that I’ve done for probably 99% of the time since the game launched a decade ago, and OCD me has just stuck with it.  I like to think that I want to get shinies and hundos and shiny hundos, and to have an impressive Pokédex of rares and strong quality Pikachus, but when the day is over, there really is no goal in place for me.

All the same, recently the game has been celebrating its actual 10-year anniversary, and despite the fact that I don’t pay much attention to the happenings of the game, one of the things I can say that that I wager not as many people as they might think can claim is that fact that I have regularly played since the debut of the game, and although my level and accomplishments in the game might not reflect it, it is true.

One of the major things the game has decided to do in honor of the decade-long survival of a mobile game, is that to all players, they have an ultra-super low-hanging fruit mission to where the prizes for completion are a Master Ball, as well as a guaranteed encounter with a MewTwo.  Over social media, it became apparent that this specific MewTwo encounter was a guaranteed hundo (perfect stats), and as is the case with MewTwo encounters, there is a decent chance that one could get a shiny.

Many have flexed screen grabs of their shiny hundo MewTwos; my own was not shiny, but that’s fine because I already have a shiny, albeit it is not a hundo, but I can be content with the fact that I now have a hundo MewTwo in my Pokédex, even if it is basically a free giveaway.

But unsurprising, there has been a faction of Pikachu Game players who have opined their general disappointment and low-key bitterness that the game has basically taken the prestige and distinction of having MewTwos of any quality, by basically giving everyone one, pretty much for free.

I get that sentiment; when the game initially released MewTwo, in extremely difficult raids, with extremely difficult catch rates, if you could be lucky enough to participate in the raid much less succeed in the first place, I went out of my way to join communities, find out where other players were gathering, and got my ass out of the house in order to try and catch them.  I was determined to complete my Kanto collection 100%, which was possible for me seeing as how I had actually traveled to places like Asia and Europe and gotten region-specific Pikachus like Farfetch’d and Mr. Mime, and now MewTwo was the last one to round out Kanto.

I remember how accomplished I felt when I finally got my first one, and how I declared myself a true lord of Kanto.  But then the itch of the Three PS3s guy kind of creeped into my brain, and I began to ask myself why stop with just one MewTwo, when I could have three?  It was a little bit of a grind, but I got my third MewTwo, but then it kept going, and going, and at the time I’m writing this, I have 22 MewTwos, which isn’t bad for someone who doesn’t live in like New York City or Seoul or any other high-density location where there are always 6 Pokéstops and gyms every square mile, where taking down the strongest of gyms is easy with high bases of players.

Needless to say, it is kind of a crappy feeling to know how many people are getting basically a free hundo MewTwo now just for participating, when it was so difficult to get them back when they first emerged.  It cheapens the rarity and sense of accomplishment of getting them in the past for the old heads like me who have been in the trenches of daily playing for the better part of the last decade, and I can understand the salt from players like us.

Naturally, there are contrarians to the detractors, and I’ve seen commenters on social media throwing up all sorts of analogies and straw man metaphors to try and shit on the people who shit on the event which just leads to the shitty wasteland that is a social media arena, and I’ve smartly decided to stay out of public discussion because I know I’d just get piled on for my opinions and I don’t need that, and I have a brog that nobody reads where I can air out my thoughts without any concern of rebuttal.

People complaining about free stuff, rich people complaining about too much butter on their lobsters, but the one that piqued my interest were those accusing the haters that they probably hated when the government paid off student loan debts.  I get the analogy, and see the similarities between people who have responsibly paid their student loan debts off getting salty over thousands of people suddenly getting them absolved, but at the same time it’s laughable that someone would even make the analogy of student loan debt versus Pokémon Go.

Student loan debt is a legitimate problem in the world, and there are very real-world consequences for those who have struggled on account of them.  Pokémon Go is a fucking phone game, and nobody at all has endured any sort of legitimate struggle on account of it.  But from a semantics standpoint, yes it is similar; tenured lifers who have put in their 10,000+ hours suddenly getting to see filthy casuals get to reap similar rewards with a fraction of the effort, it does make sense.

The thing is, this isn’t even the first time that Niantic has pulled this shit of lowering the bar and giving tons of shit away for free in order to boost engagement, downloads and player participation.  A few years ago when I went to Korea, I was psyched to be able to catch a Farfetch’d, and I went kind of out of my way to get one, and I felt so proud when I did.  But literally that same trip, Niantic dropped this event where players could briefly get regional Pikachus from other regions, meaning those in the west were able to get Farfetch’d, Mr. Mime went to the Oceanic, Tauros went to Europe, and Kangaskhan came to Asia.

It’s hypocritical for me to have felt a similar salt since thanks to that event I was able to get Kangaskhan without having to go to Australia/NZ, but I did admittedly feel salt that Americans were able to get Farfetch’d without having to be in Asia, like I was at that very time.  They didn’t earn it, and I did feel annoyance when I’d see like Facebook friends who I know long abandoned the game, who were posting about how they’d logged in for the first time in. years just to get it, and smugly proclaim how they intended to hibernate immediately afterward.

But at the end of the day, it’s still just Pokémon Go.  In two weeks, everyone will have forgotten about this whole thing, and as time passes, everyone’s hundo MewTwos won’t mean shit, especially if like 70% of them will be in accounts that will just go dormant for months to years.  But it’s still interesting to see the whole shitshow of Niantic dropping an event, and the inevitable clash between the lifers, versus all of the filthy casuals who pop in and feel as entitled and deserving to the same benefits that those who have actually put in the work to get beforehand already have.

Ironically, I asked for this

One of the big selling points I used on my dad when I was arduously trying to talk him to move down to Georgia, other than the fact that everything made sense, was that with him being somewhat in the Metro Atlanta area, not only could I see him with tremendously more regularly than any member of his family had been able to see him over the last 10+ years, he could now participate in things like holidays, events and milestone occasions, like the Pre-K graduation of his granddaughter.

Yes, I know that in the grand spectrum of things, Pre-K graduations are pretty much important only to the parents of the children ‘graduating’ from preschool, but it’s one of those things where I’ve been to enough children’s things over the last six years to understand and have witnessed all sorts of healthy family dynamics where grandparents often show up to events as such, because it’s what family does – show up.

Because graduation day was kind of hectic on account of an altered schedule and in-laws visiting, I didn’t want to have to wake up at like 5 AM to drive the 40 miles to my dad’s facility to pick him up, and then weather the teeth of Atlanta morning traffic to get back 40 miles, I opted to just hail an Uber for my dad, and bring him to my side of town, and then we could go to graduation, and either I drive him back, or I send him home in another Uber. 

We’re adults, and we throw money at obstacles.

I call him at 7 AM, to find out if he’s ready to go, and naturally he doesn’t pick up his phone because communication with my dad is basically a one-way street where he will blow up my phone whenever he wants to ask me a question that I’ve already answered for him at least 15 times previously, but when I need to get in touch with him, he never fucking picks up the phone, and I can usually expect to get a callback in a minute or two, like he’s a fucking ER doctor being paged.

Anyway, when he calls back, I ask him if he’s ready to go, and he says he wants to have breakfast first, which is a fair accommodation, his place has set meal hours, and he’s entitled to get his meals.  I tell him to call me when he’s done eating, and I’ll hail an Uber and let him know the make and color of the car, like we’d been doing for rides to church the last few Sundays, and he gives me an affirmative.

20-25 minutes later, I call him back because now I’m sweating the time, because if he doesn’t get into an Uber soon, he’ll definitely already be in morning traffic, but there would be no guarantee that he’d make it to my side of town in time to make it to the graduation, which I would later discover security was following rules to a T, and basically barring anyone who didn’t check in prior to 10 AM, wasn’t getting in.

My dad basically tells me that he doesn’t want to come, that it’s too far, too long of a car ride, and he actually wasn’t planning on coming.  Immediately, my mind quips that in one hand, I’m actually pretty relieved that he’s bailing, because this means I won’t have to babysit him all morning and afternoon, and seeing as how I was skirting work for the day, I would have my job to tend to, as well as the want to do certain errands, such as vote and go help mythical wife with another errand.

I don’t make a big deal about his abrupt bailing because of the relief at not having to babysit him, but subsequently, my mind started unpacking the underlying messages of his decision, and as pretty much is the case with everything my dad does to me, it began to aggravate the piss out of me.

I had reminded my dad well in advance of this date, and at no point did he ever express any sort of lack of want to come to my daughter’s graduation.  I made him write it down on his white board in his own handwriting, because I believe that even those with deteriorating recollection, if they see things written in their own hand, they’re more apt to be able to recall it.  So it’s not like he didn’t know this was coming, and he waited until the eleventh hour and 59th minute to bail on me, which in most cases, wars have been started for less offensive acts.

Continue reading “Ironically, I asked for this”

Let’s talk about selling out

Too many sources to count: many people are big mad about US-born freestyle skier Eileen Gu choosing to represent China instead of the United States during the 2026 Milan Winter Olympics, and even more so upon finding out that she was paid around $6.6M from China to do so

There was probably a time in my life in which I would have looked at these circumstances, and immediately went Eileen Gu is a turncoat sellout, fuck her, and I hope she fails epically on everything she does!!!

But these days, that’s not even the first thought that comes to my mind when hearing about the saga of Eileen Gu.  I’ve had numerous conversations with friends over the years on the topic of ‘selling out,’ which is something that people love to frivolously fling around whenever they hear of anyone who decides to make money at the expense of exchanging some sort of commodity, be it talent, goods or some other thing that they have that others are willing to pay real money for.

Music bands, professional athletes, content creators of various forms; whenever anyone exchanges their commodities for large sums of money, people all over the internet tend to immediately go hostile and brand them as sellouts, and basically declare them pieces of shit that they immediately want to see fail and immediately not succeed for no other reason than that they’re getting a lot of money and those who react are not.

I should know, because I’ve definitely declared many groups and individuals sellouts in my lifetime because their success turned me into a jealous fatty who didn’t like that they were becoming rich and I remained an schmuck with a brog that nobody reads.

But my mindset has kind of changed throughout the years, and yeah, I can’t say that I’m really at all that keen when an entity might sell out, especially if it means the cease or possibility of reduction of the creation of content that I like, but at the same time I’ve developed a more pragmatic understanding that people are trying their best in order to survive in the world, and for lots of us, that requires money, a great deal of it, and the more that some people can amass, the greater quality of life that can be had, if utilized properly.

More importantly, I’ve been open about the notion that if I were ever to have some sort of talent, creation, service or some sort of commodity that people were willing to pay me egregious amounts of money for, I would probably do it in two fucking seconds.  I’d sell the absolute fuck out, if it meant that I could secure wealth and financial freedom for my family, even quicker if said wealth were generational, and I could ensure that my girls’ future families would be wealthy and comfortable.

I’d be more than willing to endure being called a sellout and have people rooting against my success, if it meant the aforementioned lifestyle could be attained, and frankly I don’t have to like it when those I favor sell out, because I’m sure that when the day is over, they probably feel similarly too.

So getting back to Eileen Gu, yeah, it doesn’t make me feel particularly positive that she’s repping China ahead of the United States, but in all fairness, her mom is Chinese; Eileen has every right to rep China, and it’s very much allowed in the rules of most international competition, that people are allowed to represent their parents’ and in some cases, grandparents’ heritages, and for some lower-tier class athletes, it’s the only way they can get into the Olympics in the first place.

Furthermore, she’s already won medals for the United States, two golds and a silver back in 2022, which by the way was in fucking Beijing, so the people of China had to see an American with a Chinese last name, dunking on them in their own homeland.  She owes America nothing, as far as I’m concerned, and aside from the $6M simoleons, she’s getting to rep her mother’s heritage, which nobody is at all entitled to criticize.

I get that China isn’t popular with Americans these days, and a lot of news that I’m reading these days love to cite the human rights violations and atrocities that are going on in that country, but all these American finger pointers also need to look at our own fucking country.  America isn’t much better, and we got ICE murdering civilians on the streets, and the Epstein Files are unearthing all sorts of major figures, including the guy voted to the highest office in the country and everyone who has the power to do something about it are are turning blind eyes left and right, so it’s not like America has any moral high ground over fucking China to where Eileen Gu should be getting any criticism in regards to representing the more righteous nation.

Of course, the money is a flag that many are proclaiming to be the devil in this arrangement, but the way I see it, whether or not it was the driving factor in Gu’s choice to go with China, girl knows her worth, and has found a way to monetize her talents in order to make actual, life-changing money.  Not all Olympians have to be in the trades and Home Depot employees in their day jobs, and if someone is willing to pay them big money, they have every right to accept it as long as it’s not illegal.

Honest question here, what kind of career does a skier even have, past the Olympics?  Coaching?  It’s not like there’s an MLB/NBA/NHL/NFL of skiing, and I don’t even know if participating in the X-Games even makes money.  Skiers might get some endorsements here and there, but by and large, I have to assume that once the Olympics are off the table, there’s not a whole lot of earning capabilities for a world-class skier, no disrespect to the sport.

That being said, I don’t blame or fault Eileen Gu at all for taking a massive payday and repping her mother’s birth country instead of her own.  She’s already done it for America before, and now she gets to do it for her mom’s country, and get paid handsomely for it.

And the best part is that people have shorter attention spans than ever before these days.  Once the Olympics are over, people will more likely than not, forget about the existence of Eileen Gu, and she can get back to enjoying out the rest of her life, six million dollars richer.

No judgment for taking the bag, even if it means a bunch of shithead Americans are salty over it.  They’ll get over it, if they even remember that this even happened, in two weeks.

There are poor teams, teams that spend, and The Braves Way™

I was thinking one morning before I started making breakfast for the kids, about how the Braves had lost yet another game to the lowly Nationals, while the Phillies had won another game, adding one more game in the standings over Atlanta.  There’s no shortage of shady remarks I could spout, that only come from the type of fan who loves a team to where they have absolutely nothing but snarky vitriol for them, but instead, I actually had what I thought was a great visual representation of how I felt the Braves operated in the MLB landscape.

There’s a scene in the Game of Thrones television show, where Littlefinger smugly tries to educate Cersei Lannister that knowledge is power, only for her to immediately command her guards to grab him and slit his throat, before calling them off, and retorting that power is power.  Littlefinger is an arrogant smarmy fuck throughout the series, and it’s always a treat to see someone put him in his place, because it unfortunately does not happen that often.

The Braves are Littlefinger.  They operate in this insulated bubble where they think they’re smarter than all the other teams in Major League Baseball, and are quick to congratulate themselves on irrelevant accolades such as profit, revenue and all things that pertain to how much money they make from all the schmucks who throw money at them.  The unspoken part is concurrently how little they re-invest back into the team itself, that ultimately is the product that is meant to generate all that currency in some shape or form.

They are always convinced that the organization has all the parts they need in order to contend for a World Series, despite the fact that they only have the one from 2021 that was the mother of hot streak luck but then again what World Series winning squad isn’t the same?

The Braves are tremendously risk-averse to the point where they basically take no risks at all, mainly in the arena of paying a free agent or trading some prospects for a sure-thing good player, and year after year, their biggest weakness is exposed, and they get bounced from the playoffs in the NLDS.

Meanwhile, all the other contenders in baseball are Cersei and her guards, who represent teams that have their own intelligence in their own rights, but are either less risk averse, or are willing to open up their copiously overflowing wallets because baseball is a massively fucking profitable business venture, or worse off for the Braves, both.

Non-fans of teams like the Dodgers, Yankees and Phillies are quick to criticize how much money that these teams are spending on free agents and contract extensions, but the proof is in the pudding; all of them are at the top of the standings currently, and are leaps and bounds in the best positions to reach the World Series.

Sometimes you have to just stop trying to outsmart everyone, because when everyone is playing chess at the same time, you just have to brute force and fuck everyone else with some money and demonstrate that power is power.

As much as I criticize the Braves, the truth of the matter is that they are a great organization.  General manager Alex Anthopolous is a sharp guy who has lucked into some really fruitful moves that didn’t really sound impressive on paper, but paid out in dividends when they worked out, but it’s obvious that even he’s working with his hands partially tied behind his back, from the stingy purse strings closing the wallet that he’s denied access to.

With the knowledge that the team does have, they’re competent at fielding a team that’s routinely good enough to make the playoffs, especially now that there are two wild cards, but they constantly run out of gas and/or have their weaknesses exposed, and crash out at their routinely low ceiling.

But imagine just how great the Braves could routinely become if they just stopped being so fucking Braves-ey and sobered up from the bullshit The Braves Way™ Koolaid they remain so drunk on.  As soon as Spencer Strider went down for the year, pick up Trevor Bauer for the peanuts he’s asking for just for a chance to pitch in MLB.  As soon as Ronald Acuña went down for the year, pick up the fucking phone and start making some calls, and not assume that an outfield of Jarred Kelenic and Adam Duvall at the corners could cut it.  If the team had Bauer, then Schwellenbach or Waldrep could become a valuable trade chip to get someone useful now.

Fire someone; on any other team in any other sport, a slump like the one the Braves are going through usually results in someone getting fired, regardless of the obvious fact that it’s out of their control that the players aren’t playing well.  If the team doesn’t want to axe Brian Snitker, then fire Kevin Seltzer, the hitting coach.  Strong arm Chipper Jones to be the interim hitting coach that fans have wanted to see the hitting savant become since the second he retired from the game.

Stop being so afraid of fucking rentals.  Stop being so fucking cheap.  Stop believing The Braves Way™ is the only way, because rest assured, it is not.  No matter how much I’d prefer power to be power over knowledge, at the very end of the day, baseball, much less any sport, is a crapshoot, once playoffs begin.  But if I’m a betting man, the teams that employ more power, tend to be the ones primed to be standing once the postseason begins, and with the way things are now, the Braves and all their Littlefinger knowledge sure as fuck don’t seem primed for anything other than an even earlier postseason exit, in the wild card series; if they even make it at all.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Dook sounds about appropriate

Souse: South Fulton teenager accepted into allegedly over 50 schools; claims to have already selected Duke University

Dear god, of all the #TRYHARDs on the planet, here we have actually managed to circle back and find ourselves at the same school as one of the already chronicled tryhards.  Coming out of the same school that earlier this SZN boasted two fellas who humblebragged about gaining 63 and 50 college acceptances, we have yet another TRYHARD who has allegedly been accepted into over 50 colleges herself.

And because the lion’s share of the colleges aren’t worth writing home about, it’s pointed out that the cumulative amount of scholarship dollars that she’s amassed has exceeded $1.3M dollars despite it not working the way people might think it does.

But imagine being the students on the senior wall next to this girl’s, or the two other TRYHARDs who have 63 and 50 schools under their heads, and they’ve only got their three acceptances, and not to any particularly noteworthy schools either.  I can’t imagine it’s a particularly great system they’re running at the school, where such obvious visual measuring sticks are literally pasted onto the walls among their peers.  This is about as close to Japanese score-posting as we’re going to get in ‘Murica.

One thing that is interesting about this particular TRYHARD’s journey is that she claims to have spent a tremendous amount of time; three hours a night over several months, applying to all these schools.  Considering the circumstances, and the desire for lots of schools to be able to check off their Affirmative Action participation, I was under the impression that if one was a poor minority from a title-1 school, all they really had to do was fill out forms as basic as signing one’s life away to an online credit card application to apply for schools, which is how so many of these kids manage to churn out 50+ applications.

However, among those 50+ college acceptances, our TRYHARD in question does appear to be shooting for the moon a little bit, and isn’t just settling for an HBCU offering up a free and clear ride; she has proclaimed her intention to go to Duke, which as much of a school I loathe for their athletics, is still an academically reputable institution, and if for anything at all, getting that piece of paper and gaining access to the alumni network is worth its weight in gold in the long run.

But Duke seems pretty appropriate for this TRYHARD, because like a lot of the tryhards before her, she’s got that air of insufferable humblebraggart already down, and that’s precisely the type of people whom Duke would be a great fit for.

The jury’s still out on whether or not she’s getting a free ride or not, I have to guess that it’s probably not entirely free, but it’s also probably not just an acceptance and go fuck yourself, get your own student loans and fall into our trap kind of situation; after all her goal was to not pay for college, but it’s hard to imagine a money printer like Duke actually be willing to give anyone not in athletics a free ride.

Regardless, I hope this girl knows what she’s in for, going to Duke.  As intelligent as she might think she is, Duke is still a notoriously racist and classist environment, and if word gets out that she’s the black girl from the sketchy part of Atlanta, lord only knows what the fuck is going to become of her student life among the snobs and privileged among the Dook Elite.

Well you know what they say, which is something that literally only one friend of mine likes to say, if you TRY HARD, you die hard.

Sure would be nice if the Braves had Trevor Bauer

So the Braves’ best pitcher, Spencer Strider is probably toast for the year, and some of next year; UCL damage is usually the precursor to Tommy John surgery, and even if there’s no actual tear that all but necessitates it, it’s almost worse to be on the lookout, because in so many cases, they burn time trying to rest and rehab it, and then when they try and pitch with it months later and then get the tear, prompting the TJS, they’ve burned an extra few months in which the surgery and rehab process might already have begun.

Furthermore, the Braves’ second-best pitcher, Max Fried has started the season acting like he’s not in his contract year, with his piddly five innings pitched in two starts, allowing 11 runs and with an ERA of 18.00.  Surely it will have to get better as the season wears on, but his start isn’t inspiring confidence at the moment, and if not for the two “old guys” in Charlie Morton and Chris Sale, as well as their potent offense, the Braves most definitely wouldn’t be over .500 at this early juncture in the season.

That being said, I’m writing this a day removed from the Braves having gotten absolutely nuked by the Mets, 16-4.  In the absence of Spencer Strider, the Braves have already dipped into the minor leagues, calling up Allan Winans to start, and he did not perform very well, allowing six of the Mets’ aforementioned 16 runs, and was promptly sent back down to the minor leagues afterward.

And that’s just what the Braves do, and will continue to do throughout the season; rely on young, mostly untested talent, like Allan Winans and AJ Smith-Shawver or guys who benefited greatly from the Braves’ offensive output to mask their general mediocrity like Bryce Elder, none of whom I will feel at all at ease when watching at this state of their respective careers.

All, while Trevor Bauer still is hanging out somewhere in Arizona striking out Eric Sim 58 times a day for YouTube content, or jet-setting down to Mexico to pitch for the Locos Diablos Rojos Tacos or whatever the fuck they’re called, because MLB is colluding to blacklist him from the league because of alleged crimes that multiple active players in the game right now have had an actual history with themselves.

Yes, this is a hill that I’m willing to die on, because I firmly believe that there is no team in league that Trevor Bauer doesn’t make better immediately, and as much as it guaranteed will not happen, I really fucking wish it could be the Braves, who very obviously actually need him, yesterday.

Bauer’s arsenal actually comps very closely to Spencer Strider’s, starting with a big fastball that can hit the upper-90’s, a reliable slider, but also a curveball as well as a cutter.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful that as soon as Strider went down, quite literally pick up a wandering free agent who has almost the exact same arsenal and have him start in his place?  Yeah, that’s what I think too, but Braves gonna Barves, and stay behind the picket lines with their MLB brethren, thinking they’re too high and mighty for Trevor Bauer.

I see arguments on almost a daily basis about Bauer, and I understand there are a lot of fans who are concerned about the rumored other allegations that Bauer has yet to beat, and that they will rear their heads throughout the season, but to those concerns, I say so what?

Bauer has stated that aside from being willing to play for the league minimum, he would accept being cut without argument.  Let him join your roster, win 5-6 games, and if a court date or legal matter emerges in June, then cut him.  Then, dip into the minor leagues or B-squad and cross the bridge when you get there, but let Trevor Bauer be the bridge to get you to that point and let him win baseball games for you.

I don’t understand why this is such a difficult concept for MLB squads to accept, but collusion is collusion because everyone is on board with the idea of blacklisting a currently innocent man, no matter the value and talent he’s capable of providing.  I like to imagine that behind the picket lines, there are numerous general managers sweating over wanting to pick up Trevor Bauer for their squads, but out of fear of breaking solidarity with the collusion, their hands are tied.

I retract what I said about how I believe someone will definitively pick him up, because it really is looking like Colin Kaepernick out there in baseball land, and no matter how clearly needed guys like Kaepernick and Bauer would be needed by many professional sporting clubs, the collusion is for real, and teams would rather suffer and take losses than risk crossing the pickets.

Not what I was hoping would happen

Obviously, Blake Snell wasn’t going to stay unemployed forever, regardless of how funny I would have found it if he did go unsigned, because the San Francisco Giants were the team that blinked, and signed Balakey to a two-year deal, worth $62 million dollars.

I do take satisfaction that the money-grubbing Balakey and his money-grubbing uber-agent Scott Boras were denied in getting the long-term, fuck-you-money deal they were obviously hoping to get, but the fact of the matter is that Balakey is still hoovering up a wildly high $31M a year, and from what I understand, he does have an opt-out clause, which means that this is really more like a 1/$31M deal, because Balakey is undoubtedly going to try and pitch his ass off again so he can opt-out and try against next winter, but will also have the safety net of $31M more dollars from San Francisco should he get hurt, or realize that he’s not as good as people think he is and phones it in and prepares to try again in 2025.

It does just suck though, that an obvious money-grubber like Balakey Snell actually is going to make coin, because I am not a fan of such obvious money-grubbers.  I know that everyone is out for themselves, but at least try to pretend like you give a shit about the team, the city, the fans, or community.  Do some public appearances, read books to kids at schools, volunteer at the local grocery stores or something.  Instead, Balakey goes home and streams video games, while airing out his grievances over how he thinks he’s underpaid when he gets to throw a baseball for a living.

Whatever though, Balakey going to the Giants means he’s going to a team that I already like to root against, and despite the fact that they’re the team that signed Korean superstar Lee Jung-hoo, it’s nice to know I can consolidate my want to see the Giants not succeed, with wanting to see Balakey not perform well enough to warrant getting the big money contract he’s hoping to get.

Switching gears though, if there was anyone who didn’t believe that there’s a Colin Kaepernick-like collusion blacklisting of Trevor Bauer, the signing of Balakey all but solidifies its existence, because we’ve just watched a team commit $62 million dollars for a pitcher that is debatably comparable to Trevor Bauer, who has been shouting on the rooftops that he’s willing to play for the league minimum $740,000.

I hate to sound like I’m the world’s biggest Trevor Bauer fan; I admit that I am a fan of him as a pitcher and some of his personal idiosyncrasies, and I was disappointed when his name was associated with a sexual assault.  But I also know that he was absolved of the accusation that got him blacklisted in the first place, and I would like to see him get a second chance in the Majors, because he’s obviously good enough to hang still, and frankly, what I’m finding the most obnoxious aspect of the blacklisting is how every single team has their own history of embarrassments when it comes to housing players with abuse accusations and actual charges, so there’s just something so hypocritical of the entire league colluding to blacklist one guy like this.

I know that there are still several accusations still pending, but call me crazy, but I do believe in the whole innocent until proven guilty thing, and frankly Bauer himself has said that if a team wants to cut him after taking a flyer, they can cut him at-will, but the man just wants a chance to demonstrate that he can still get the job done in the majors.  Let the man pitch, maybe go 4-1, and if it turns out that at one of these future hearings, something comes out that he really is an abuser, than cut him.  It wouldn’t be any worse than Jose Reyes, Aroldis Chapman or Marcell Ozuna getting busted for violence against women but still getting to keep their jobs.

No matter though.  It’s not like I’m actually going to watch a tremendous amount of baseball this season, and frankly the jury’s out on whether or not I’ll actually watch a single full game this year, seeing as how I haven’t done that since like the 2020 playoffs, so when the day is over, I still really don’t care.  But I would like to see Balakey struggle, and despite my optimism that some team would eventually get desperate and pull the trigger on Trevor Bauer, things are looking less and less likely.  Although I definitely wouldn’t mind being incorrect on the latter, because I would like to see Trevor Bauer get another opportunity to pitch in the majors, plus I think he’s better than Balakey.