Tag: hypocrisy

There are poor teams, teams that spend, and The Braves Way™

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was thinking one morning before I started making breakfast for the kids, about how the Braves had lost yet another game to the lowly Nationals, while the Phillies had won another game, adding one more game in the standings over Atlanta.  There’s no shortage of shady remarks I could spout, that only come from the type of fan who loves a team to where they have absolutely nothing but snarky vitriol for them, but instead, I actually had what I thought was a great visual representation of how I felt the Braves operated in the MLB landscape.

There’s a scene in the Game of Thrones television show, where Littlefinger smugly tries to educate Cersei Lannister that knowledge is power, only for her to immediately command her guards to grab him and slit his throat, before calling them off, and retorting that power is power.  Littlefinger is an arrogant smarmy fuck throughout the series, and it’s always a treat to see someone put him in his place, because it unfortunately does not happen that often.

The Braves are Littlefinger.  They operate in this insulated bubble where they think they’re smarter than all the other teams in Major League Baseball, and are quick to congratulate themselves on irrelevant accolades such as profit, revenue and all things that pertain to how much money they make from all the schmucks who throw money at them.  The unspoken part is concurrently how little they re-invest back into the team itself, that ultimately is the product that is meant to generate all that currency in some shape or form.

They are always convinced that the organization has all the parts they need in order to contend for a World Series, despite the fact that they only have the one from 2021 that was the mother of hot streak luck but then again what World Series winning squad isn’t the same?

The Braves are tremendously risk-averse to the point where they basically take no risks at all, mainly in the arena of paying a free agent or trading some prospects for a sure-thing good player, and year after year, their biggest weakness is exposed, and they get bounced from the playoffs in the NLDS.

Meanwhile, all the other contenders in baseball are Cersei and her guards, who represent teams that have their own intelligence in their own rights, but are either less risk averse, or are willing to open up their copiously overflowing wallets because baseball is a massively fucking profitable business venture, or worse off for the Braves, both.

Non-fans of teams like the Dodgers, Yankees and Phillies are quick to criticize how much money that these teams are spending on free agents and contract extensions, but the proof is in the pudding; all of them are at the top of the standings currently, and are leaps and bounds in the best positions to reach the World Series.

Sometimes you have to just stop trying to outsmart everyone, because when everyone is playing chess at the same time, you just have to brute force and fuck everyone else with some money and demonstrate that power is power.

As much as I criticize the Braves, the truth of the matter is that they are a great organization.  General manager Alex Anthopolous is a sharp guy who has lucked into some really fruitful moves that didn’t really sound impressive on paper, but paid out in dividends when they worked out, but it’s obvious that even he’s working with his hands partially tied behind his back, from the stingy purse strings closing the wallet that he’s denied access to.

With the knowledge that the team does have, they’re competent at fielding a team that’s routinely good enough to make the playoffs, especially now that there are two wild cards, but they constantly run out of gas and/or have their weaknesses exposed, and crash out at their routinely low ceiling.

But imagine just how great the Braves could routinely become if they just stopped being so fucking Braves-ey and sobered up from the bullshit The Braves Way™ Koolaid they remain so drunk on.  As soon as Spencer Strider went down for the year, pick up Trevor Bauer for the peanuts he’s asking for just for a chance to pitch in MLB.  As soon as Ronald Acuña went down for the year, pick up the fucking phone and start making some calls, and not assume that an outfield of Jarred Kelenic and Adam Duvall at the corners could cut it.  If the team had Bauer, then Schwellenbach or Waldrep could become a valuable trade chip to get someone useful now.

Fire someone; on any other team in any other sport, a slump like the one the Braves are going through usually results in someone getting fired, regardless of the obvious fact that it’s out of their control that the players aren’t playing well.  If the team doesn’t want to axe Brian Snitker, then fire Kevin Seltzer, the hitting coach.  Strong arm Chipper Jones to be the interim hitting coach that fans have wanted to see the hitting savant become since the second he retired from the game.

Stop being so afraid of fucking rentals.  Stop being so fucking cheap.  Stop believing The Braves Way™ is the only way, because rest assured, it is not.  No matter how much I’d prefer power to be power over knowledge, at the very end of the day, baseball, much less any sport, is a crapshoot, once playoffs begin.  But if I’m a betting man, the teams that employ more power, tend to be the ones primed to be standing once the postseason begins, and with the way things are now, the Braves and all their Littlefinger knowledge sure as fuck don’t seem primed for anything other than an even earlier postseason exit, in the wild card series; if they even make it at all.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Dook sounds about appropriate

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Souse: South Fulton teenager accepted into allegedly over 50 schools; claims to have already selected Duke University

Dear god, of all the #TRYHARDs on the planet, here we have actually managed to circle back and find ourselves at the same school as one of the already chronicled tryhards.  Coming out of the same school that earlier this SZN boasted two fellas who humblebragged about gaining 63 and 50 college acceptances, we have yet another TRYHARD who has allegedly been accepted into over 50 colleges herself.

And because the lion’s share of the colleges aren’t worth writing home about, it’s pointed out that the cumulative amount of scholarship dollars that she’s amassed has exceeded $1.3M dollars despite it not working the way people might think it does.

But imagine being the students on the senior wall next to this girl’s, or the two other TRYHARDs who have 63 and 50 schools under their heads, and they’ve only got their three acceptances, and not to any particularly noteworthy schools either.  I can’t imagine it’s a particularly great system they’re running at the school, where such obvious visual measuring sticks are literally pasted onto the walls among their peers.  This is about as close to Japanese score-posting as we’re going to get in ‘Murica.

One thing that is interesting about this particular TRYHARD’s journey is that she claims to have spent a tremendous amount of time; three hours a night over several months, applying to all these schools.  Considering the circumstances, and the desire for lots of schools to be able to check off their Affirmative Action participation, I was under the impression that if one was a poor minority from a title-1 school, all they really had to do was fill out forms as basic as signing one’s life away to an online credit card application to apply for schools, which is how so many of these kids manage to churn out 50+ applications.

However, among those 50+ college acceptances, our TRYHARD in question does appear to be shooting for the moon a little bit, and isn’t just settling for an HBCU offering up a free and clear ride; she has proclaimed her intention to go to Duke, which as much of a school I loathe for their athletics, is still an academically reputable institution, and if for anything at all, getting that piece of paper and gaining access to the alumni network is worth its weight in gold in the long run.

But Duke seems pretty appropriate for this TRYHARD, because like a lot of the tryhards before her, she’s got that air of insufferable humblebraggart already down, and that’s precisely the type of people whom Duke would be a great fit for.

The jury’s still out on whether or not she’s getting a free ride or not, I have to guess that it’s probably not entirely free, but it’s also probably not just an acceptance and go fuck yourself, get your own student loans and fall into our trap kind of situation; after all her goal was to not pay for college, but it’s hard to imagine a money printer like Duke actually be willing to give anyone not in athletics a free ride.

Regardless, I hope this girl knows what she’s in for, going to Duke.  As intelligent as she might think she is, Duke is still a notoriously racist and classist environment, and if word gets out that she’s the black girl from the sketchy part of Atlanta, lord only knows what the fuck is going to become of her student life among the snobs and privileged among the Dook Elite.

Well you know what they say, which is something that literally only one friend of mine likes to say, if you TRY HARD, you die hard.

Sure would be nice if the Braves had Trevor Bauer

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So the Braves’ best pitcher, Spencer Strider is probably toast for the year, and some of next year; UCL damage is usually the precursor to Tommy John surgery, and even if there’s no actual tear that all but necessitates it, it’s almost worse to be on the lookout, because in so many cases, they burn time trying to rest and rehab it, and then when they try and pitch with it months later and then get the tear, prompting the TJS, they’ve burned an extra few months in which the surgery and rehab process might already have begun.

Furthermore, the Braves’ second-best pitcher, Max Fried has started the season acting like he’s not in his contract year, with his piddly five innings pitched in two starts, allowing 11 runs and with an ERA of 18.00.  Surely it will have to get better as the season wears on, but his start isn’t inspiring confidence at the moment, and if not for the two “old guys” in Charlie Morton and Chris Sale, as well as their potent offense, the Braves most definitely wouldn’t be over .500 at this early juncture in the season.

That being said, I’m writing this a day removed from the Braves having gotten absolutely nuked by the Mets, 16-4.  In the absence of Spencer Strider, the Braves have already dipped into the minor leagues, calling up Allan Winans to start, and he did not perform very well, allowing six of the Mets’ aforementioned 16 runs, and was promptly sent back down to the minor leagues afterward.

And that’s just what the Braves do, and will continue to do throughout the season; rely on young, mostly untested talent, like Allan Winans and AJ Smith-Shawver or guys who benefited greatly from the Braves’ offensive output to mask their general mediocrity like Bryce Elder, none of whom I will feel at all at ease when watching at this state of their respective careers.

All, while Trevor Bauer still is hanging out somewhere in Arizona striking out Eric Sim 58 times a day for YouTube content, or jet-setting down to Mexico to pitch for the Locos Diablos Rojos Tacos or whatever the fuck they’re called, because MLB is colluding to blacklist him from the league because of alleged crimes that multiple active players in the game right now have had an actual history with themselves.

Yes, this is a hill that I’m willing to die on, because I firmly believe that there is no team in league that Trevor Bauer doesn’t make better immediately, and as much as it guaranteed will not happen, I really fucking wish it could be the Braves, who very obviously actually need him, yesterday.

Bauer’s arsenal actually comps very closely to Spencer Strider’s, starting with a big fastball that can hit the upper-90’s, a reliable slider, but also a curveball as well as a cutter.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful that as soon as Strider went down, quite literally pick up a wandering free agent who has almost the exact same arsenal and have him start in his place?  Yeah, that’s what I think too, but Braves gonna Barves, and stay behind the picket lines with their MLB brethren, thinking they’re too high and mighty for Trevor Bauer.

I see arguments on almost a daily basis about Bauer, and I understand there are a lot of fans who are concerned about the rumored other allegations that Bauer has yet to beat, and that they will rear their heads throughout the season, but to those concerns, I say so what?

Bauer has stated that aside from being willing to play for the league minimum, he would accept being cut without argument.  Let him join your roster, win 5-6 games, and if a court date or legal matter emerges in June, then cut him.  Then, dip into the minor leagues or B-squad and cross the bridge when you get there, but let Trevor Bauer be the bridge to get you to that point and let him win baseball games for you.

I don’t understand why this is such a difficult concept for MLB squads to accept, but collusion is collusion because everyone is on board with the idea of blacklisting a currently innocent man, no matter the value and talent he’s capable of providing.  I like to imagine that behind the picket lines, there are numerous general managers sweating over wanting to pick up Trevor Bauer for their squads, but out of fear of breaking solidarity with the collusion, their hands are tied.

I retract what I said about how I believe someone will definitively pick him up, because it really is looking like Colin Kaepernick out there in baseball land, and no matter how clearly needed guys like Kaepernick and Bauer would be needed by many professional sporting clubs, the collusion is for real, and teams would rather suffer and take losses than risk crossing the pickets.

Not what I was hoping would happen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Obviously, Blake Snell wasn’t going to stay unemployed forever, regardless of how funny I would have found it if he did go unsigned, because the San Francisco Giants were the team that blinked, and signed Balakey to a two-year deal, worth $62 million dollars.

I do take satisfaction that the money-grubbing Balakey and his money-grubbing uber-agent Scott Boras were denied in getting the long-term, fuck-you-money deal they were obviously hoping to get, but the fact of the matter is that Balakey is still hoovering up a wildly high $31M a year, and from what I understand, he does have an opt-out clause, which means that this is really more like a 1/$31M deal, because Balakey is undoubtedly going to try and pitch his ass off again so he can opt-out and try against next winter, but will also have the safety net of $31M more dollars from San Francisco should he get hurt, or realize that he’s not as good as people think he is and phones it in and prepares to try again in 2025.

It does just suck though, that an obvious money-grubber like Balakey Snell actually is going to make coin, because I am not a fan of such obvious money-grubbers.  I know that everyone is out for themselves, but at least try to pretend like you give a shit about the team, the city, the fans, or community.  Do some public appearances, read books to kids at schools, volunteer at the local grocery stores or something.  Instead, Balakey goes home and streams video games, while airing out his grievances over how he thinks he’s underpaid when he gets to throw a baseball for a living.

Whatever though, Balakey going to the Giants means he’s going to a team that I already like to root against, and despite the fact that they’re the team that signed Korean superstar Lee Jung-hoo, it’s nice to know I can consolidate my want to see the Giants not succeed, with wanting to see Balakey not perform well enough to warrant getting the big money contract he’s hoping to get.

Switching gears though, if there was anyone who didn’t believe that there’s a Colin Kaepernick-like collusion blacklisting of Trevor Bauer, the signing of Balakey all but solidifies its existence, because we’ve just watched a team commit $62 million dollars for a pitcher that is debatably comparable to Trevor Bauer, who has been shouting on the rooftops that he’s willing to play for the league minimum $740,000.

I hate to sound like I’m the world’s biggest Trevor Bauer fan; I admit that I am a fan of him as a pitcher and some of his personal idiosyncrasies, and I was disappointed when his name was associated with a sexual assault.  But I also know that he was absolved of the accusation that got him blacklisted in the first place, and I would like to see him get a second chance in the Majors, because he’s obviously good enough to hang still, and frankly, what I’m finding the most obnoxious aspect of the blacklisting is how every single team has their own history of embarrassments when it comes to housing players with abuse accusations and actual charges, so there’s just something so hypocritical of the entire league colluding to blacklist one guy like this.

I know that there are still several accusations still pending, but call me crazy, but I do believe in the whole innocent until proven guilty thing, and frankly Bauer himself has said that if a team wants to cut him after taking a flyer, they can cut him at-will, but the man just wants a chance to demonstrate that he can still get the job done in the majors.  Let the man pitch, maybe go 4-1, and if it turns out that at one of these future hearings, something comes out that he really is an abuser, than cut him.  It wouldn’t be any worse than Jose Reyes, Aroldis Chapman or Marcell Ozuna getting busted for violence against women but still getting to keep their jobs.

No matter though.  It’s not like I’m actually going to watch a tremendous amount of baseball this season, and frankly the jury’s out on whether or not I’ll actually watch a single full game this year, seeing as how I haven’t done that since like the 2020 playoffs, so when the day is over, I still really don’t care.  But I would like to see Balakey struggle, and despite my optimism that some team would eventually get desperate and pull the trigger on Trevor Bauer, things are looking less and less likely.  Although I definitely wouldn’t mind being incorrect on the latter, because I would like to see Trevor Bauer get another opportunity to pitch in the majors, plus I think he’s better than Balakey.

Because swearing is so cool

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Obviously, it is not lost on me that I do swear in my own writing and spoken vernacular from time to time, but it doesn’t change the reality that my attitude on it is that it’s still not cool when done to an excess, and especially when profanity is used mostly for the sake of it.  I think it loses meaning when it’s done too much, and I like to think that when I do it in my own writing or spoken word, it’s because I’m fired up about something, trying to be funny for ironic effect, and not just saying it because I have nothing else better to say.

That being said, I don’t particularly remember what I was doing, where I was or how I heard it, but I recently heard a song that was clearly a sampling of Eiffel 65’s Blue Da ba dee back from 1998.  Looking it up, it’s I’m Good (Blue) by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha, figures that I no particular qualm with, I like Guetta’s music, and I like Rexha’s general persona, and as a song, it’s not bad and I think it pays decent credit to the original song.

It’s just that my beef with it is the melody that repeats itself like what feels like 28 times:

‘Cause I’m good yeah, I’m feelin’ alright
Baby, I’mma have the best fuckin’ night of my life“

And so I’m hearing a big ass F-bomb over and over again seemingly, and each time I hear it, I feel like I lose a little bit more respect for the song each time, because I’m wondering to myself if it’s even so necessary to have it in the first place.  Yes, I know how old man this probably makes me sound, but frankly the excessive use of it makes me feel like the appeal of the song erodes each time it’s blurted out.

Which sucks too, because much like the original, I like the musical theme of the song, but this is definitely not something I can play around my kids, because much like me, I’m sure they’ll only hear FUCKIN over and over again, and knowing my luck this will be the one single word they decide to repeat.

Like I know that the rules of society change, and that a lot of standard profanity isn’t as incendiary as it used to be, at least in compared to a number of terms and slurs that have more bigoted meanings behind them, but there’s just something so sad and pathetic about having to hear the same f-bomb over and over again, and thinking that something like a song, as a whole, can still be considered to be remotely of high quality when it just sounds like it’s trying to make itself sound dumb by virtue of spamming cuss words because cussing is so cool to begin with

This is what we call a smart bride

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I would have killed to have had a wedding food budget under $2,000: Georgia bride sparks internet debate after revealing that she had catered her wedding with food from Chili’s

Camp me firmly and unquestionably on the side that is completely on board with catering from Chili’s.  I would have been willing to shave my head if I could have paid 1/6 of what I ultimately paid for catering at my wedding.  Not to mention the menu itself sounded perfectly adequate, if people didn’t hear the Chili’s name attached to it:

served guests an all-Chili’s menu including chicken tenders sliders, egg rolls, chips and salsa, Cajun chicken pasta and salad

I know the woke society we live in is all anti-chain and tends to automatically dislike restaurants like Chili’s, but I have no problem with Chili’s.  In fact, of all the lily-white chain restaurants out there, I’d go out on a limb and say Chili’s is probably among my favorites if not my favorite one.  Their ribs are fantastic, they used to have these tacos that were both good and economical, and frankly there’s nothing on their menu that wouldn’t hit the spot on any given day.

When a Taco Mac is slammed to the gills despite the fact that they’re a chain restaurant themselves, just regional, it’s nice to know that I can probably get expedient and quality table service from a Chili’s if there’s one nearby, which has been the exact case more than just a few times in my life.

I feel like I went to a wedding within the last year where the menu was kind of like this, and I’ll be lying if I didn’t say that it wasn’t completely satisfying to go back up for seconds and get a generous helping of chicken tenders with three different dipping sauces.  It might not have been from Chili’s, but the menu seemed to have some overlap here.

But seriously, I’m completely on the side of this bride who sounds like she made the best of her budget and went with an option that provided decent grub at an extremely economical price point, and I feel like anyone who criticizes her choices probably needs to get their pretentious heads out of their pretentious asses, and get over their prejudices of chain restaurants.  More so if they themselves have never had to plan a wedding and deal with the ridiculous cost of catering, because that shit is absolutely bonkers and they 100% put a cost on the fact that it’s for a wedding in the pricing.

Great, now I have to defend the influencer

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I didn’t think I’d find a way to organically work this Keyboard Warriors logo I made into a post, and would have to dedicate an entire post to it, but sometimes the internet provideths

The skinny: 21-year old TikTok influencer makes posts about purchasing a home free and clear, The Internet responds with venom, resulting in the influencer tearfully apologizing for being out of touch with people with don’t make as much money as her

Welp, I never thought I’d ever be in the position for wanting to defend an influencer, but here we are.  I’m on the side of the influencer, and when it really comes down to it, I just feel that everyone who is throwing stones her way is, a jealous fatty.

Because I’ve seen enough people do exactly what this little chica does whenever they buy a home: they fucking announce it to the world on social media, because no matter what way you put it, it is a tremendous achievement, that anyone who gets into the position of entering homeownership should be proud of.

I purchased my first home at 22 years of age.  I obviously wasn’t an influencer or in any field nearly as lucrative as this kid was in, and I most definitely wasn’t free and clear from the onset.  But I still delved into the world of homeownership at a very young age, and it was truly for the best as I’d begun accumulating experience that I feel has been valuable as I’d evolved my living situations since then.

The influencer isn’t really that special in the sense that she got a home at a young age.  Any 20-something that’s remotely responsible with their finances could probably make it happen.  The only real difference between her and the vast majority of the world is that she happens to make her living in a form that is oft-seen as insufferable, obnoxious, and generally not popular with the cynical segment of the world, in spite of the fact that those who succeed at it tend to make lucrative livings from doing such.

And this is where I think it’s pretty petty, ripe with jealousy, and sour grapes from the people who are casting rocks in her direction, but mostly jealousy at the fact that she has managed to get into a position to where she could achieve free and clear homeownership.  I mean, I’m envious over the fact that she’s free and clear, but I don’t hold it against her; if I had the ability to just completely pay off my mortgage, I’d most definitely wipe that shit out too.

But it sucks that she has to endure such abuse from the peanut gallery, just because she happened to have gotten the right combination of finding a working formula, luck in gaining exposure, and the appeal to get lucrative sponsorships and means to make the copious amounts of money needed to afford the lifestyle.  Because I’d wager my house that anyone who flung bile at her, if they were in her position, they’d most definitely be buying real estate and doing exactly what she did too.

The fact that she felt the need to apologize was completely unnecessary and I don’t think she owes anyone an apology for being successful.  And I’m spending a lot more time white knighting for this kid than I thought I would deem necessary, but the point is, this is a scenario where The Internet sometimes makes the wrong choices of picking people to vilify, and picking on an influencer just because the majority of the people wish they could have her success, is one of them.

Now wait for her adventures as the world of homeownership comes closing in on her.  Home repairs, being responsible for fucking everything in the house, taxes, homeowner associations or any of the niggling things about homeownership that often makes us sometimes go “I understand the appeal of renting,” begins.  That can be the content insufferable anons can get up on their high horses about instead, but those who have already taken first swings, are already playing from behind.