I swear, it’s like the plot of Rocky III.  Rocky has been fighting scrubs for so long that when Clubber Lang comes along, he gets owned.  Since Christmas, there has been such an influx of scrubs playing L4D that my brother and I have been getting a little soft.  Apparently last night was Clubber Lang night, and every match we seemed to play in was four Clubber Langs versus the two of us, and naturally, two scrubs who have no real talent at the game, resulting in us getting targeted and annihilated pretty much every match.  Needless to say, after a while, I begin to get a little frustrated.

A compulsion I have when playing L4D is that I often times look at the profiles of the people I’m playing with/against, when waiting for load screens, or during spawn time waits.  The game channels out my inner-ADD apparently.  During one of the games in which we were getting bested, I glanced at the profile of one of the people we were playing with, and interestingly enough, in his profile was boasting about how he was a Microsoft employee, who worked on the Kinect, as well as the XBOX version of MSN Messenger.  Furthermore, his profile had a little digital watermark above it with “Project Kinect” behind his peripheral information, giving him designation from the rest of us plebeians.  Additionally, his profile smugly boasted “I only accept friend requests from people I know.”

As a player, XBOX Employee wasn’t bad at the game, maybe a little too rogue for my liking.  However, the fourth player on our team was the typical scrub who completely bogged down the team altogether, and was primarily responsible for our downfall in the first two rounds.  Naturally, such results leads to the democratic desire to alleviate the team of such dead weight, prompting my brother and I to vote out the carcass.  Upon bringing up the vote screen, XBOX Employee consistently voted no, leaving the result as an unsuccessful stalemate, drawing my ire.  Eventually, after consistent losing thanks to retaining a heavy ballast, the dead weight finally left on their own accord.

I thought to myself “maybe we shouldn’t vote the XBOX Employee, he might have some mythical employee powers to smite us later,” but by the time the thought was done my brother had already pulled up the vote screen.  Without any hesitation, the thought was discarded, and I hit the start button, and the Smarmy XBOX Employee was unmercifully kicked from the game, just like any other pleeb and scrub we’ve disposed of like garbage.

Nobody fucks with our zbs.  Nobody.