So, while I’m still sitting here at Willy’s, I have to write about these two assclowns sitting behind me.
To be fair, I guess one of them is truly an assclown, and likely bordering along the lines of “tool” and “douchebag,” based on some of the things I’ve heard come out of his mouth. The other is older, and seems a little more even keeled, and sure, he’s driven by tits and tail too, but then again what straight guy isn’t?
Anyway, so I’m sitting here, eating, people watching, brogging, the usual crap, and I see this older woman walk into Willy’s. Without question, she had to have a lot of work done, because her ass was still high and tight appearing, and her body as a whole was still in great shape for a woman of her apparent age. And based on the banter going on behind me, the guys agreed with my assessment.
As the cougar leaves, she’s looking longingly at the two corporate stiffs behind me, probably to make assumptions at the worths of their portfolios and the kinds of cars they drive. I should also mention that she was also holding some dry cleaning, because as she was walking out to her car, she dropped a ticket or tag or something, and suddenly the two stiffs behind me are talking about the situation, and the younger dbag is goading the older one to “go do it.” And so the older, more even keeled guy does, he leaves the establishment, retrieves the tag, and powerwalks his way to the cougar to return it. All while the assclown is snickering, and pulling out his phone to make the phantom save call or something.
Older guy comes back, and they’re discussing the situation, much like my brother and I do in Vegas or when we’re at a restaurant doing the usual people watching. But as far as I’m concerned, the older guy’s got far bigger nuts and a lack of fear of failure than his junior, which isn’t at all that not respectable.
And then it’s at this moment that I realize what I just witnessed – a Just For Men hair coloring commercial. It was like 99% accurate to the plot of a Just For Men commercial – cougar, hopeless divorced man in corporate stiff outfit, interaction in parking lot.
The best part is that the old guy brazenly went on to go hit on another single mother with her daughter in tow. TWO Just for Men commercials in the same lunch hour. Inconceivable.
Hypocrisy? Maybe. But at least when I have such conversations with my brother, my best friend, or any other dudes, at least I try to do it not within ear shot of other vigilant broggers.
EDIT: okay, the older guy’s as big of a douche as his junior is too. Now he’s on his soapbox talking about his goals when it comes to seeking the next alimony payment. I pray to the heavens that I never end up like either of these guys when I get past 37. And I’m not a chick, but I seriously hope neither of these two douches get laid again.
