I thought about putting this up on my sports brog, but then I thought fuck it, this isn’t really something for BS,W. When I first saw these two storm out of the section, I said “hehe, they’re going to go break up,” not really thinking much of it. But then minutes later, I turned around and noticed the two of them hanging out on the railing, appearing to be having some intense conversation, based on the tepid body language. “Holy shit, I think they are breaking up!”
Instead of watching Brave after Brave helplessly flail against Tim Lincecum, I found myself voyeuristically watching this young couple appearing to be headed down Splitsville. My usher friend and I sadistically watched with enjoyment as with each pleading arm wave from him, and the dismissive hand through the hair from her, the negotiation appeared to be going nowhere but downhill.
And then came this moment of truth, that I managed to capture on camera, completely coincidentally – the wiping of the tears.
Eventually, they vanished, but then I saw them return to their seats. It’s obvious what happened. They came together, and she has no other way home, except through him. Him, being upset with getting dumped at the ballpark, decides that he’s going to stay and watch this fucking game. Her, still needing a ride, has no doubt, explained to him that she still wants to be JUST FRIENDS, but in actuality, won’t speak to him again after this night. Like as if they were on a blind date, both were leaned back in their seats, saying practically nothing to each other. He was relegated to speaking with the complete strangers around him, to gab about baseball. When the Braves were in the midst of closing out sweep of the Giants, and everyone in the park was on their feet, clapping and cheering, the two of them, sat as affixed to their seats like barnacles to a boat. Absolutely pathetic.
The thing is, I was watching the girl before all this happened, because I saw her sitting by herself for a good bit of time, before the crybaby showed up. C’mon, I’m a single guy whose radar is often alerted to potentially single girls. But she was texting away and gabbing on her cell phone, to someone else, who may have been in the ballpark as well. When they returned to their seats, I joked that she probably had the breakup already in mind, and her communications from earlier in the evening were to the dude she was going to bone after she dumped her current guy. When I got a good look at her, she wasn’t worth it, anyway. He’s better off. She’s was a butterface with an okay body; a little midget-y, but the tan looked fake, and she kind of had a simian-like mouth.
But in reality, she probably dumped him because of those dorky black socks. Seriously, is that what’s in style these days? When I first moved down to Georgia, one of the things I heard was that “you can always tell someone’s a Yankee (from above the Mason-Dixon Line) when they wear black socks with their sneakers.” For the record, I’ve always worn black socks, because I used to be big into basketball, and the Michigan Fab Five started the trend back in like 1993. But anyway, it seems to be the norm with college bros these days, and if I didn’t dislike the look of boring white tube socks, I’d consider changing myself. But aside from jogging, I don’t wear these geeky black socks with my sneakers.
Anyway, they’re both losers, and their misfortune, is my brogging material, as well as my amusement.
