Through Kotaku, I discovered the site Gourmet Gaming, which I think is a fantastic idea. Food creations based on the food items utilized in video games, to which there are obviously no shortage of after all these years. I can’t say that I’m vaguely familiar with many of these creations beyond a just a few here and there, but when they touch on my nostalgia and make creations from them, we’ve got winners.
My favorites are the unknown Golden Axe meat, the Streets of Rage trash-can chicken, and the above pictured Castlevaniabroken-wall turkey. Clearly, I favor those items that actually do something, as opposed to something in the background, and these are all from very old games, now. Ugh – they’re OLD, just like me.
Obviously, the idea of retrieving food out of trash cans, crates, statues or from behind walls was not lost on me, namely just how absurdly unsanitary it is that we make our controlled characters eat them anyway, for sustained health. But leave it to the internet to take these ideas and concepts and bring them to life, for all of us game nerds to reminisce and laugh along.
But if I had to weigh them, I think the Castlevania wall turkey’s got to be the most unsanitary of these fictitious three game food items. At least with the Golden Axe meat, unknown as it may be, is coming directly from another living creature who was obviously going to eat it themselves, before dropping them as punishment for stealing your magic jars, so it couldn’t be that bad. The Streets of Rage trash/crate/barrel chicken is a little more skeptical, but at least there’s a 50/50 shot that it could have been recently placed into the container, or be guaranteed food poisoning. But finding it in a container seems slightly more sanitary overall compared to finding it in little wall alcoves, covered by bricks.
Which means, the Castlevania wall turkey is easily the most humorously unsanitary food item of them all. They’re clearly hidden long enough in these little alcoves to where the bricks sealing them in have blended in well enough to fool those not looking for them. And for the matter, the residents of the Castlevania continuum are pretty much all dead things – vampires, skeletons, zombies, wraiths, ghouls and those annoying little red gremlins that have odd movement patterns and are hard to whip, much less trust their cooking. At least in the other two games, it’s probably intelligent bipedal beings doing the cooking.
But in spite of such in-depth analysis, we as players are still not hesitant to walk Simon/Trevor Belmont right into meal time, devouring such wall turkeys, because frankly, those old Castlevania games were hard – in later stages, four hits, and you’re dead.
