Among the things that I’d like to do with my home, is replacing light bulb sockets. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve theorized that not every single bulb manufactured is a dud, but that it’s got to be something wrong with my home itself to where light bulbs are constantly going out way too quickly.
The question then became, how did the bulb sockets become so crappy to where they chew up bulbs like a pickup truck guzzles unleaded? Sure, there’s probably something to be said about the shortcuts used and shoddy craftsmanship gone into the construction of my house, but at the same time age has to be a factor in this equation as well; I’ve lived in this house for ten years now, so the sockets are probably all charred and cooked after a decade.
But then I had to repeat that last part to myself: I’ve lived in this house for ten years.
And then I came to the realization that I’ve lived in this residence longer than I’ve lived anywhere else in my entire life. Weird to think about given the fact that I spent the first 21 years of my life growing up in another state, but it’s true that I’ve lived in this Georgia home longer than I’ve lived in any other singular home.
As fascinating as that aspect is, it’s also something that has been on my mind very heavily over the last few weeks and months, the very topic of homes and residences. Admittedly, the circumstances have not been the best at times on these thought processes, and I’d be lying if it hasn’t kept me up awake at night, or given me a lot more stress than it really should, as it is ultimately at the moment something that is sort of out of my control, due to the fact that like many Americans, in Georgia especially, are suffering from the concept of having an underwater mortgage.
There is an amount that I am willing to cut my losses with and carry the burden of, into the next chapter of my life, but it’s finding a solution that doesn’t obliterate my credit and impede my ability to purchase another home that is proving to be difficult, among the obvious fact that I owe more on my home than it’s valued.
The fact of the matter remains though, that in spite of the longevity I’ve shown with my current house, it’s already begun that I’ve been putting a lot of thought into what comes next. In a way, despite the fact that I live with another person, I still feel tremendously alone at times, and I think about what it’s going to be like when I’m actually alone, wherever I end up next. And then I think about where I might end up next, because I’m constantly debating on the fact that I like having some land, so should I pursue another home, or if I should embrace the life of my bachelorhood, and move into the city itself, where I might be able to alleviate myself of a brutal commute, egregious property maintenance, and have a chance at a genuine city life.
For the sake of shaking things up, I think I’m leaning towards the latter, but the point remains, it still feels like a long way off before I can even get to that point, not even factoring in finances and capabilities.
The bottom line is that I’m often thinking about my housing future a lot lately, and the fact that it all feels more like a pipedream more than an attainable reality due to a badly dealt hand, stresses me out. It makes me feel somewhat trapped at times, and I know it’s easy for people to say that nobody is ever really trapped, which is true in my case, but at the same time, escaping from this kind of trap usually has severe financial repercussion that has the capability of really making life difficult for years later. To that point, living in an unhappy situation also has that capability, but I also never also said I was genuinely unhappy with how I’m living, but more exploring my potential options for the future, which unfortunately look a tad bleak.
I’ve said it a bunch of times, but I really don’t ask for much in my life other than to be comfortable. The feeling of being trapped sometimes, is not comfortable. But it’s also out of my control until the local housing market miraculously boons, and my home becomes worth enough to cover itself, or get close enough to it where I can depart with less penalty.
As cliché as it sounds, I need to try and not let things out of my control get me down so much.
At the very least, I can swap out light bulb fixtures and do my best to improve the home that I do have, and try and live out my life as best as I can until the world deems it possible for me to turn the page and move forward with my life.
