Impetus: Panda Express considers using chorks at their restaurants; in other news, chorks exist, as a bastardized hybrid between a fork and chopsticks
First, chuck Panda Express. They’re the chucking worst. How does one describe being the KFC of Chinese food when they’re already on the same echelon of the genre? I want to say Chinese culinary experts of the past would be rolling in their graves at the idea of fast food Chinese, but there’s a strange cycle of irony that a culture of cheaters, counterfeiters and lacking integrity or respect for copyrights is having their country’s food being bastardized and essentially counterfeited for fat American capitalistic profit.
But the creation of the chork? I’m chucking chlabbergasted by such an abomination. They’re basically a shitty fork on one end, and the worst pair of tweezers in the world on the other end, presumably trying poorly to simulate chopsticks.
If anyone thinks shit like chorks or training chopsticks will actually get people to want to learn how to use actual chopsticks, they’re chucking delusional. Learning how to use chopsticks requires actual chopsticks, and it’s kind of like riding a bike; some practice is required, but once it’s learned, it’s not a capability that just vanishes.
It’s kind of an insult that shit like the chork was even invented. Imagine if the execution were done in reverse, and chorks were dropped in Asian countries where use of chopsticks was commonplace. Not only would the chopstick portion not work very well, all the chinks would grow frustrated at the fork’s inability to actually pick up things like nuts, hard vegetables, or how they mangle fish. They’d further believe Americans were barbaric eaters with no dexterity in their hands.
The bottom line is chuck the chork, and if Panda Express does indeed choose to roll with them, chuck them even more than they already are chucked.
Be a fork, be chopsticks, or be nothing. Zero stars.
