I take a modicum of pride in the fact that I have a paid off phone, free and clear. I purchased my iPhone 5 back in 2013, making the switch from Android, and have not had any regrets. I find iOS to be way more stable and easier to use, and the tiniest things that bothered me like a lag in swipes or keying in characters that plagued Android, were mostly not the case in iOS.
When the iPhone 6 and 6S emerged, it was a transitional time for the entire smartphone industry, in the fact that the old model of selling phones at a massive discount, but under two-year contracts were phased out, and that a new process of leasing phones, and basically paying for the entire cost of a phone over a span of time became the norm.
A lot of people were cool with this, because they simply loved the idea that there were no contracts, and that new phones could be acquired in a more timely fashion than those who lasted 20 months with a phone, grew impatient and anxious, and couldn’t not count down the days until the contract ended and they could get a new phone.
These people also like to throw money into an incinerator and watch it burn.
The two-year contract model has never been an issue for me, because I’ve been a Sprint customer for nearly two full decades now. I’ve switched phones like five times and outlasted four two-year contracts in the process. Paying a third of a new phone at the cost of the loyalty I already have is a no-brainer for me, and I’m completely fine with it.
Needless to say, the new norm, of leasing phones, is not my ideal cup of tea. And it was fine, because my iPhone 5 was free and clear, worked great, and I was going to ride it until it died, and I would be forced with great protest, to enter modern times.
That is, until more recently.
Have you ever heard of swelling batteries? I hadn’t. But more recently, I noticed that there was an odd stress mark on my iPhone’s screen. Pressing down on the left side, showed a stress mark. I didn’t think much of it, other than my phone’s general age. However, even more recently, I noticed that the entire screen of my phone was beginning to be pushed out upward. Now this was alarming to me.
A cursory search for “iPhone 5 screen pushing out” revealed the culprit instantaneously, the prime symptom of a swollen battery. Apparently, within iPhones and other mobile phones, the batteries are encased in basically a small bag; presumably to protect from heat and electrical discharge. Whether it was because of age, or an inordinate amount of heat exposure to my phone, the battery began slowly swelling, and compromising the structural integrity of it outright.
It still worked fine, but it was only a matter of time before the expansion was going to damage it beyond repair.
Furthermore, increased research revealed some frightening incidents in which iPhones specifically, suffering from swollen batteries, caused small fires, and in one particular instance, exploded on a guy when he fell, it blew up, and caused enough physical burning harm to necessitate skin grafts.
Yeah, swollen batteries are kind of potential safety risks, if neglected for too long.
Needless to say, my ideal plan of riding it til it dies wasn’t going to work with my phone much longer. So as much as I wanted to avoid it, I decided to see what I could do in order to either fix the problem, or end up with a free-and-clear phone. So I went to the worst place on earth: an Apple Store. Seriously, I knew they were bad, but it was like Black Friday on new Air Jordan release day kind of bad. And this was just an ordinary Sunday afternoon.
Long story short, I was told that a replacement iPhone 5 refurb was going to run me $269. I paid $199 for my phone brand new in 2013. I’m sure you can see where the problem with this was. Needless to say, I respectfully declined, and opted to keeping a ticking time bomb instead.
Later on, I called Apple directly, and after some runaround, I was passed off to customer relations. I explained my situation to the fourth person, and was told more or less the same thing. But then I mentioned something that I hadn’t yet said; I was more than willing to pay for the cost of a battery, but not a cost for a refurbished phone that was more than what I paid for it new.
And it was like I solved a riddle or something. When I stated that I wasn’t trying to get a free replacement, and that I was willing to pay some money, because I’m a fucking adult, it’s like a lightbulb went off at Apple. Suddenly, there were options, and suddenly, a suitable one emerged.
I could get a replacement phone, for the cost of the battery. What was originally stated to me as being $269 was now $79. Funny how a choice of words changes the cost of services in such a dramatic fashion.
In conclusion, I have a new(ish) phone, that’s free and clear, and does not have a swollen battery with a screen being shoved out from within. Dealing with Apple was not exactly the easiest situation in the world, but through keeping my cool and apparently saying the right things, decent options can emerge from basic communication.
Consider this bomb threat disaster averted.
