This just in: Kane eviscerates Democrat Linda Haney in match to decide the next mayor of Knox County, Tennessee
Admittedly, I didn’t think Kane had much of a chance, when he announced he was going to run for mayor way back when. Perhaps it was the failure of Rhyno to run for Congress, and the endless amounts of criticism that Linda McMahon gets for being associated with professional wrestling, that made me think that when it really matters in the world of politics, voters tend to not take those associated with wrestling very seriously.
But much to my entertained surprised, not only did Kane ascend up the ranks in the Republican party, he is now officially the next mayor of Knox County, Tennessee. It goes without saying that at least for now, his WWE career is most definitely on the shelf until further notice.
I’m happy regardless, because for those who follow wrestling, it’s well-known that Kane AKA Glenn Jacobs, is one of the most respected and friendliest guys in the industry, in spite of his hellacious, devil’s-favorite-demon persona. He commands the respect of all his peers and guys on the inside through his work ethic, nutritional knowledge and his ego-less wealth of experience in the industry, and it’s a no-brainer that had his political career not succeeded, he’d have a job for life with the WWE.
And despite his demonic wrestling persona, Kane is oft-touted as one of the most fan-friendly performers out there, and I can speak from experience when my friends and I ran into the Big Red Monster randomly on Peachtree Street during Wrestlemania weekend, and was more than willing and accommodating to take pictures with us and other fans who recognized him.
The thing is, I don’t so much take enjoyment of MAYOR KANE because it’s a professional wrestler that rose to a legitimate political position, but I actually think Glenn Jacobs has the capability of being an actual good mayor. Everyone loves to point at Kane’s wrestling career, but as it’s all being documented better than it’s ever been now, Glenn Jacobs has been a businessman and business owner for the better part of the last two decades, running both real estate and insurance companies in Tennessee.
Although he ran under the Republican banner, he’s a known Libertarian, so hopefully that detracts the uneducated people who are politically triggered by seeing the R-word, and assume Kane is going to be some brainwashed conservative hell bent on following in the footsteps of a particular other orange-hued guy who ran under the Republican banner.
And if his reputation in the wrestling industry is any indication, it should bode well for the people of Knox County to know that they’ll have a mayor that isn’t the least bit afraid of doing absolutely anything in order to achieve success. Glenn Jacobs will probably laugh at the notion of having to get his hands dirty and go on site of some construction sites or clean some pig shit at a manufacturing plant or something. Compared to having to portray a necrophiliac or an arsonist as Kane, any bullshit hardships of being a mayor is going to be a vacation and easy mode for Glenn Jacobs.
All hail Mayor Kane!!
