Chick fil-A. Waffle House. American Deli. The Varsity. Four Atlanta-born restaurants; if you had to kill one, which one would it be?
I think it’s safe to say that Chick fil-A and Waffle House are immediately safe. Jesus’s chicken, although I would still slot it underneath Bojangles, still has the greatest app in the history of apps, and its ease of use probably drives more Chick fil-A visits than the average fast food joint for me.
Waffle House also holds a special place in not just mine, but should in just about every breathing human being alive. Whether it’s the garbage food that always hits the spot, the fact that they’re never closed, or the stories of interesting characters we’ve all seen, there’s absolutely no reason at all to even consider Waffle House for the chopping block.
Now American Deli, I had no idea was even started in Atlanta, much less considered remotely respectable to even be put into this competition. I always associate American Deli’s as food options always seen at the sketchy mall or shopping center, and that in spite of the “American” in the name, I don’t think I’ve ever once seen someone that was probably born in the United States actually working at one. The menu is homogenized and overpriced, and there’s never an instance where there’s not a better option available around one.
Which means The Varsity has to fucking go. Honestly, this really shouldn’t even be a debate. The Varsity is pretty much the worst food available in the entire city of Atlanta and the state of Georgia. I mean look at the food in the picture above; I’m pretty sure I could have a bowel movement onto a bun and it would look more appetizing than that trash.
If a toilet could speak, it probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between dumping that crap into the bowl and someone taking a massive deuce after bingeing at Cici’s Pizza, it’s that unappetizing looking.
American Deli is no prize company, but at least they’re often relegated to the outskirts and aren’t being forced as a potential option to everyone passing through Atlanta. I roll my eyes at every single tourist who thinks The Varsity is a must-visit destination, and every local who tries to un-ironically suggest The Varsity as a viable meal option to friends coming in from out of town. For some reason, people think The Varsity is good, when they’re really an obnoxious relic of an older time that serves crappy food, and is hogging some primo real estate that’s quite literally sitting in the pinpoint heart of the city.
I don’t often try to speak for anyone but myself, but I think I wouldn’t be alone in saying that if Atlanta lost The Varsity, it would be no real blow to the city or any of its residents. Probably some obnoxiously gaudy high-rise and/or student housing can take its real estate, but hopefully add something nice to the city’s skyline, and locals and tourists would be free to ignore The Varsity suggestions and actually go find food at one of the hundreds of quality dining options Atlanta has to offer.
