Fire Emblem Heroes is insanity

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Five-star rated characters in Fire Emblem Heroes are drawn at a rate of 3.25% per summon.  Suffice to say, the chances of getting a highly coveted five-star player during a summoning session is not very good.

In casinos, aside from the wild array of side bets available in craps, roulette is considered the game with the worst odds on the floor.  The standard American roulette wheel has spots for 1-36, as well as a zero and a double-zero, for a total of 38 numbers for a ball to drop onto; so on every single spin, gamblers have a 2.6315789% of hitting a single number and getting a 36x payout.

The difference with roulette is that there is a variety of ways to hedge your bets, wager on half or quarter spots, mitigate losses and frustration, maximize entertainment and enjoyment, and depending on the casino, drinks are usually free and sometimes the waitresses are hot.

In FEH, you pull the slot machine, get nothing of any value, and then walk away pissed off.  In less than 60 seconds.  Eventually, you get back on the horse, grind your way to 20 orbs or whatever denomination one feels comfortable getting to before getting back into the casino, and the process repeats itself again and again.

As much as I’m aware of having just quoted a guy who quoted Einstein’s famous line already this week, but the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

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This makes me think twice about Airbnb in the US

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I like Airbnb; I’ve stayed at several before now, ironically more outside of the United States than in it.  I think it’s a great way to save a little bit of money versus pricey hotels and all their random fees, and it’s also a great way to stay in places unique and different than in bustling lodging districts.  And when it comes to extended stays anywhere, it’s often times the de facto option to not get charged up the nose for multiple nights.

That said, this story I came across about an Asian girl who was basically duped and screwed by a racist Airbnb host kind of makes me think twice about utilizing the service, especially in the United States, my own home country.  Long story short, the girl made a reservation at a cabin, and had numerous correspondences with the host.  But then while minutes away from their destination, in the midst of a snow storm, the host rips her mask off, revealing a mutant racist, spouts all sorts of hateful and bigoted rhetoric and cancels the booking, not before saying it was because she was Asian and saying “this is why we have trump.”

Now I’d be fine if a Hilton or a Marriott pulled this shit on me, because I’d sue the ever-living shit out of them and become Oprah-rich.  But Airbnb is mostly hosted by fairly every-men and every-women who want to make some side scratch renting out their properties; despite the fact that the racist host in question was actually somehow punished to the tune of a $5,000 fine and requirement to take an Asian-studies course, there’s no making good the potential damage they’re doing when they decide to screw over a potential renter.

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Go G-Gobblers!

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Surprising nobody: the Gwinnett Braves announce finalists for the team renaming contest and they all suck:

  • Gwinnett Buttons
  • Gwinnett Big Mouths
  • Gwinnett Gobblers
  • Gwinnett Hush Puppies
  • Gwinnett Lambchops
  • Gwinnett Sweet Teas

I mean, it was a forgone conclusion that the new name was going to be a PC-friendly, vanilla, uncreative and probably determined regardless of votes, but c’mon, these are pretty particularly poor as far as options go.  Sure, passive-aggressive griefing options like Tax Burdens and classic no-brainers like the G-Spots weren’t going to get through, but surely some way better options must have fallen by the wayside in this shitty contest.

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When losing becomes too much to handle

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

So passively-aggressively hilarious: retired WR Calvin Johnson throws heaps of shade about the endless losing culture of the Detroit Lions and how it basically drove him into retirement

Not going to lie: this is legit one of the saddest yet funniest sports articles in a long time.  Calvin Johnson basically throwing the Detroit Lions organization under the bus for well, being the Detroit Lions; a team that never won, existed primarily in the losers’ circle, how he just couldn’t take being contractually glued to them throughout his entire career, and how retirement and the ceasing of millions of dollars in paychecks seemed like the superior alternative.

I’ll come clean, I actually like Calvin Johnson.  Despite the fact that he mauled Virginia Tech and the rest of the ACC while he was playing for Georgia Tech, there was always something entertaining and fascinating about watching such a physically gifted player do his thing.  It was a no-brainer that he was going to go pro, and was only a question of just how high in the draft he would be selected.

But being a shoe-in pro always has the peril of getting drafted by one of the teams, locked in eternity to the ball-and-chain of loser, like the Raiders, Texans, Bills, Browns, or in the case of Calvin Johnson, the Detroit Lions.

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Add sour rancid milk to the list

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Worse than carcasses: truck carrying 48,000 gallons of milk crashed and overturned on GA-316 involving several other cars and trucks, causing numerous injuries

It has been hot and humid as hell lately.  I’m not sure whether or not it’s at all record-setting, a fact that I’ve pretty much been endlessly working on things involving a lot of physical movement, or a combination of all of the above, but it’s been hot, humid and miserable as shit over this summer.

That being said, if there was absolutely anything at all that would be a miserable truck-full-of-food-spill, milk would undoubtedly have to be at the top of that list.

On its own, milk is already a volatile, diarrhea-inducing agent, now imagine it spilled all over the roads, baking into the surfaces under the hot and miserable Georgia sun?  Rapidly souring, going rancid, and cooking its way into the asphalt and soil.  Bacteria growing like a petri dish, and the sharp odor soon to emanate from everything that the shit spilled all over.

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Would love to cross-reference this with demographic data

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Impetus: Kars 4 Kids conducts survey to determine grades of courtesy of all 50 United States

I came across this article that declared Georgia amongst the rudest drivers in America, so I was curious to what the criteria actually entailed.  Ultimately, the sample size was way, way, way too small at 2,500 correspondents considering the fact that the United States has a population of nearly 320 million, so I don’t think this is nearly that accurate of a survey.

Especially the ranking of Maryland, which somehow scrapes into the top-half of the spectrum as “friendlier” drivers, because the reality is that Maryland has some of the worst drivers on the planet who would rather let entire third-world nations die of genocide before letting you merge in front of them.

However, it’s still not entirely inaccurate either, and despite the strokes being very wide and broad, it’s still entertaining to see the obvious correspondence with stuff like population densities and demographics in relation to how certain places graded.

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Why is Ahri x D.Va a thing?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

If I can sound like a bitter old man for a minute (again) here, naturally it was through social media in which I first saw fan art, then obnoxious cosplayers of this bastardization/hybridization between League of Legends’ Ahri and Overwatch’s D.Va.  Taking Ahri’s tails and slapping them onto D.Va’s body, taking the D.Va facial makeup markings and putting them onto Ahri, and all sorts of other combinations that blended the two characters together, and I’m sitting here thinking: whyyyy????

My knee-jerk cynical reaction is that it’s a bunch of nerds who want to really hammer home the notion that they are versed in both League and Overwatch, and they need to let people know that they’re so hip to both that they can acknowledge such strange abominable mash-ups.  And then cosplayers who are so attention-starved see something that’s trending and immediately start a rat race of who can do the first make-up test, who can finish the costume and wear it to a convention nobody knows of, and then who can do the first sexy-boudoir-lingerie photoshoot of it before jaded curmudgeons like me get wind of the whole thing.

My curiosity wishes to know why such a combination exists at all?  Both are undoubtedly popular and relevant characters in their respective properties, but why are they being shoe-horned together?  Naturally, my assumptions go towards one of the worst possible reasons: MICROAGGRESSIVE RACISMMMMM

Ahri is a character borne from Korean fairytale.  D.Va is a Korean.  THEY’RE KOREANS SO LETS MASH THEM TOGETHER ARR ROOK SAME PLS LIKE

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