A part of me never really wanted to talk about this, but just the same, there are times where I feel that I brog, because I want to write about the things in my life that are important, even if they’re not necessarily the best of connotations. It’s not so much that I’m brogging to my audience of six, for their inquiring or alleviation of boredom, but at the same time an opportunity for me to chronicle my own life, and write things that I can look back and reflect upon or remind myself of what had happened at particular points of my life.
It’s not always just League of Legends, wrestling, sports and veiled social commentary, y’know.
Long story short, I haven’t been working for the better part of the last month now. I resigned from my previous job, which most people knew because they know me, or can probably figure out by the fact that I got Confederate Memorial Day off every year, was along the lines of government work. Things were a little oppressive, and a little too Big Brother-y, there were some archaic policies and mindsets in play, and in the end, I grew exasperated with my position, and it was just best that we parted ways and wished each other well on our future endeavors.
The separation was admittedly not on the most positive of conditions, but then again so few ever really are, when it comes to the separation of workers from employers, no matter what people tend to say; if there weren’t some angst, then people wouldn’t leave their jobs in the first place.
Needless to say, I’ve been coasting on residual pay since my last day at work, and basically been having the summer vacation that I never wanted. Keener eyes might have noticed me not logged into chat all day long, odd time stamps in my brog posts when I did post, or happened to notice me logged into League at hours that might have been too late at night, or oddly during business hours.
Sure, it’s nice to know that I could sleep in when I wanted to sleep in, but I’m a fairly light sleeper to begin with, and going to bed every night with the uncertainty of not knowing what lied ahead in my career hadn’t really made the capability of being able to sleep until sated really that enjoyable.
I’m not necessarily the type of person that really handles time off very well. I like to feel like I have a purpose in the world, that I’m contributing in some way or fashion to someone or some company. That being said, having a sudden influx of time off hasn’t been the most pleasurable experiences for me, often times leaving me anxious about the future, disappointed with my credentials, and wondering what I’m doing with my life, at the age of 33.
I tried to adhere to my writing schedule, which didn’t always work out, when the mind is bordering depression. I’ve been trying my best to go to the gym, but five days a week has suddenly fallen to closer to two days a week, and it’s difficult to motivate myself to leave the house solely for the gym, when I used to go in conjunction with going to the office. Ultimately, most of my time has been spent catching up on television shows, playing a lot of League, and checking and re-checking job boards in pursuit of greener pastures.
When the thought occurred to me that I was having something of a summer vacation, considering the time I’d had off, it made me think about when we were children, and how the typical summer vacations were slightly over a month, and it was truly on the onus of ourselves to make something of them.
That being said, I got to a point where I felt like I should really do something with the time off, if I wasn’t working. One weekend, I got off my butt, and I flew out to a state I’d never been to before, in Louisiana, to visit my orange brother, where we pretty much ate shit and drank drive-thru daiquiris while watching a ton of wrestling. At another point, I finally got off my hipster soapbox, and actually went to a Braves game for the first time all season, with my girlfriend (naturally there was a bobblehead). And, due to the good graces of the mythical girlfriend who hooked me up, I spent a few days soaking in the sights and wonders of aquatic life at the aquarium.
And one of the more notable things I did, was that I spent a day being an extra for one of the countless filming projects going on around the city of Atlanta at any given time these days. Given the burgeoning filming industry right here in Georgia, it almost seemed like something that I should definitely try at least once while I had so much time off, and after my day of service, I’m glad that I did; it was interesting and a unique experience, but I’m not entirely sure that this is something that I’d really be that interested in. However, I guess if there was ever something that I really felt like I had to be a part of, at least I wouldn’t be going into it dark, if they were ever looking for extras. But hey, it was getting paid to stand around and portray a photographer, as opposed to staying at home being mopey.
Ultimately, I wouldn’t necessarily be posting this, if there weren’t light at the end of the tunnel. With that being said, if there are attributes that I would say that I had, it would be a staunch determination and unwillingness to stay downtrodden. I start a new job in a few days; an actual job, and not just the first of a litany of freelance gigs that I’m taking just to pay the bills.
To no surprise, I can’t really talk about details. But this time, it’s not because I’m being secretive; I actually probably can’t talk about the nature of some of the things I’ll be doing.
I am a little nervous, and I am a little excited at this opportunity. I’m grateful for the efficiency in which I was able to land another job as soon as I did, because I most certainly remember just how hard it was in the past when I was looking for work. At the same time, there’s going to be an obvious adjustment period, as I hope to settle down quickly my new role and responsibilities, the different location, commute, and the impact it is going to have on my social life and ability to do things.
Really, this is kind of a euphemism of how it’s going to be a likely pain to find a new gym, and establish a new routine.
But the bottom line is that the summer vacation I never really wanted is coming to a close, and as an adult with grown-up responsibilities and obligations, I couldn’t be any more excited that it is.
