I guess it’s getting to the point where it’s inevitable that the things of our youths ultimately end up dying slow and undignified deaths. I kind of wonder if this is one of those generational things that happens to every generation, but given the fact that some of these iconic companies are often times nearly 30, 40, or 50+ years old, I’m going to have to lean towards that such might not be the case for every generation.
Now I’ve gotten nostalgic and poetic waxy about franchises of my own youth, like K-Marts, Old Country Buffets and Sears, but the impending death of Toys ‘R Us is a pretty hefty blow in its own right. Whereas the deaths of most of the other aforementioned businesses tended to hit grownups the hardest, there’s almost something cruel about a business that primarily made their bread on butter on the wants of children getting the axe now.
I mean, business is most certainly an unforgiving, indiscriminate venue, but taking it out on the children seems especially harsh. It’s no secret that lots of people hate Walmart, and Target and Amazon are pretty universally loved, but when it really comes down to it, all of them, as well as all other businesses that could be considered competition were all involved in twisting the knife that eventually succeeded in bringing death towards the most iconic toy retailer, at least of my entire lifetime.
When businesses like Kiddie City Toys and KB Toys all bit the bullet way back when, there wasn’t really any despair because Toys ‘R Us always stood tall as the de facto champion of toy stores. As long as they stood tall, in their giant warehouse-sized spaces in strip malls or free-standing colossuses, there would always be a place where Legos, Barbies, board games, video games, and an assortment of self-assembled plastic cars and playhouses would be available. And as the world turned, as children continued to be churned out and the necessity of toys would never disappear, so it would be imagined that a business like Toys ‘R Us would never go out of business.
Unfortunately, that did not turn out to be the case, and the iconic franchise has raised the white flag, and all of their stores in the United States as well as numerous branches overseas are all going out of business, and as far as I’m concerned, the concept of the toy store is pretty much dead. Sure, there will be renegade, pop-up and independently owned toy stores, but I highly doubt that they’ll have any capability to compete with the prices that wholesale purchasing or what Amazon or Walmart charge, and they’ll be as reckless to attempt as a restaurant.
And so from now on, will be generations of children who will never know the wonderment of walking into a Toys ‘R Us, and seeing literal toys, and nothing but toys, from wall to wall. This was no Target or Walmart, where kids had to walk past women’s clothing, greeting cards and useless-to-children housewares, and hope to find 4-5 aisles of action figures, rubberized balls with Disney or Marvel characters on them, and a few board games scattered here and there.
No giant store for kids to be negligently left at by their shitty parents so that they could run amok and touch and move everything in sight, exasperating underpaid employees, wondering where their stupid parents were. No more place where hicks would strategically hide things they wanted and call it redneck-layaway. No more place for kids to have a breakdown in the middle of the store, and a parent who no more shits to give literally drags them out of the store, because they want everything in sight.
No more Toys ‘R Us means no more of a litany of social tropes, or just the sheer convenience of walking into a brick and mortar store, finding what you want, paying for it, and leaving with it in tow, for instant gratification. We’ve gotten to the point of the world where seeing things in person and really contemplating on whether it’s wanted or not isn’t a thing any more, and we’re content to take the risk of things being mis-sized or not what we had hoped, instead of leaving our homes to actually look at shit before we buy it.
I remember the first time I went into a Toys ‘R Us. There were none in the town I grew up in, and my family went up to Maryland to visit some cousins. They had this bougie Korean restaurant, with a long and huge ramp at the entrance of their restaurant that I always wanted to push Hot Wheel cars down, and on one particular occasion, some of my cousins took me to Toys ‘R Us to get some toy cars, and that my first ever time inside of one. We didn’t stay there long, but I remember just how amazing it was to have gone into a building where the entire building was nothing but toys. This was a far cry from the K-Marts and Roses that I went to, where my mom bought all my other toys, and I never wanted to leave.
In fact, I remember that I didn’t get any toy cars like I had intended to, because I was a stupid kid. Instead, I got this Masters of the Universe Monstroid toy that most certainly had no wheels, couldn’t be pushed down the giant ramp, and of course did not come with batteries, or any actual He-Man figures to play with it. But I was still ecstatic with my purchase and my experience of having been to a Toys ‘R Us. Their commercials aired in my home town, despite the fact that there were none remotely close to the area; kinda fucked up, but I have to respect it.
Conversely, I’m pretty sure I remember the last things I ever purchased at a Toys ‘R Us. It was way back, but they were running a video game promotion, where it was a buy-one-get-one-50% off, and I took advantage of the promotion buy purchasing both Street Fighter IV and Resident Evil 5. I played SFIV all of like six times, but at least I can say that I played the shit out of RE5.
Then again, I remember making some online purchases through Toys ‘R Us for my niece and nephew, but then again I guess I can’t speak for much about the convenience of online shopping.
One of these days, I just might have a kid or two, and they’ll never know about the jingle and the whole lifestyle choice of never wanting to grow up, because they’re Toys ‘R Us kids. Sure, I may never have to drag one ragdolling out of a store, wailing their lungs out, but I feel like that such might be denying me some sort of rite of passage of parenting that I’ll never know now.
Of all the businesses to ultimately die off due to the downward spiral of society, I have to say that this one hurts. I don’t think I can really say that I was much of a Toys ‘R Us kid, but I’ve always appreciated their existence and the service that they provided. Plus it targeting children, which in spite of some of the sadistic anti-kids things I might spout off, is something that I don’t really believe is that great of a thing. Toys are aides for imagination, and denying children such things is only stifling the potential for imagination, to which those wild ideas are often times the basis for some of the greatest inventions of the world.
Kids from now on will have no choice but to grow up, because they’ll never be anymore Toys ‘R Us kids henceforth. 😢
