This is an autographed picture of Sonny Chiba, crushing the shit out of some pleeb’s skull, personalized to me. This has tremendous meaning to me, because for anyone who’s known me for any lengthy time knows that Sonny Chiba is one of my cult idols. He’s basically the godfather of movie violence, and has had some of the most savage, bone-crushing combat scenes in the history of cinema, most notably known for getting the first ever X-rating from violence alone in the 1974 flick The Street Fighter, where he rips a man’s testicles off, among other brutal beatdowns he gives to other pleebs. This isn’t to say that I myself am a bloodthirsty violence monger, but damn if Sonny Chiba films weren’t always entertaining to watch growing up.
I received this treasure as a gift from one of my long time, twenty-year club friends Kat, to whom I am eternally grateful for such a thoughtful and meaningful present. Despite the fact that my brother kind of spoiled the surprise, it was still no less jaw-dropping when I opened the envelope in the mail and saw the picture that had Lord Chiba’s signature on it.
Like, most celebrities that do any sort of autograph sessions, they have some pretty standard headshot or studio shot, personifying one or more of their most iconic roles. My brother foolheartedly dropped a mammoth hint that I should expect to receive an autograph from one of my teenage heroes, but little did I realize that it would be to this magnitude.
Because Sonny Chiba is so far above his peers, not only does he not have some simple headshot or studio shot from a single role, he’s got some classic amalgamation of he himself, and all of the sadistic and overpowered characters he’s portrayed throughout his career, caving in the skull of an unnamed victim who had the gall to exist in front of the fists and limbs of the great Sonny Chiba. And as if that weren’t enough, the background is this epic collage full of stereotypical 70s Asian bad guys, hookers, and more Sonny Chibas.
Frankly, there couldn’t be any more perfect of a canvas for Sonny Chiba to be autographing for his fans. And I’m truly blessed to have great people in my life who think of me enough to take the time and effort to get this piece of treasure for me. It’ll hang proudly on the wall of my office, and always make me smirk.
