Well I’ll be damned

Long story short: House Bill 459 passes, declaring that it is now a misdemeanor to be puttering down in the left lane on a divided highway.

In other words, it is now a ticketable offense in the state of Georgia to be cruising in the left lane when there are faster cars that would like to pass.  When this bill was initially proposed, I didn’t think it really had any chance to actually pass, as there was too much gray area, too much subjectivity, and too much room for error for it to be a viable law.  It took pretty much an entire calendar year, but not only did it pass, it passed with a landslide margin of 162-9.  Apparently, a lot of legislative talking heads are really passionate about the ability to drive without Driving Miss Daisy clogging up the left lanes.

The bottom line is that I guess I’m fine with this law being in existence since I, like everyone else, have been stuck around the noob cruising at 64 in the left lane with a speed limit of 65, and because everyone else are pricks, I can’t get around them in any seamless fashion.  However, the creation of HB459 really isn’t going to change anything, because of all the things I listed above; even the dimwits at the AJC are aware of this as well.

Simply put, an officer has to see this infraction occur in order for them to enforce it.   Additionally, a witnessing officer has to be aware of the existence of HB459, and then finally, the witnessing officer will have to actually want to enforce it.

And then there’s going to be the argument of when a person is actually going 70 in the 70 zone; why should they yield the lane to accommodate someone going an illegal 80, 90, or 100 mph+?  Imagine how many tickets will go to court at the discretion of the accused, with people frothing at the mouth going to be claiming that they were going the speed limit, and were pulled over because they weren’t letting someone going unlawfully fast to pass them?

As I said, there’s too much gray area, and too much room for error.  Despite the existence of HB459, it’s going to turn into something that’s a vastly larger pain in the ass to enforce and dispute in court than it would be to just ignore.  It’s basically going to be a law that a cop in a really bad mood, or who really wants a reason to pull someone over and ruin their day will actually enforce.

Otherwise, chalk HB459 as another state law that’s going to be ignored and forgotten.  Did you know that there’s a truancy law in Georgia (HB1190) that states that basically, parents of students who are repeatedly caught for skipping school can be jailed?  Yeah, that law is never enforced either.  Welcome to the club, HB459.

Not fair. NOT FAIR.

See this baseball cap?  I want this baseball cap.  I must have this baseball cap.

It is a piece of bacon.  ON A BASEBALL CAP.  A totally legit, NewEra baseball cap.

I have to have this.

There’s one problem, though.  They’re the baseball cap of the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, a minor-league team of the Triple-A level.  I’ve been to Allentown PA, to see the home of the Iron Pigs, late last season; nice park, in spite of Nazi-like park employees.  The problem is however, the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs are affiliates of the Philadelphia Phillies.  As an Atlanta Braves fan, I very much dislike the Phillies, and if it were up to me, I would like to not support them in any capacity.

But this cap.  It has a piece of bacon on it.

It should come in green as well, to represent the envy I have for a Phillies affiliate having claim over such a brilliant piece of fan apparel.

It’s inevitable that I’m going to get the bacon cap.  As much as it sort of defeats the preceding words, I actually already have an Iron Pigs cap, from when I went there last season.  It was raining when we were there, which forced us to go into the team store, where we discovered that everything in the store was on massive discount because it was three days before the end of the Triple-A season, and the store was trying to unload as much stock as they could to make room for the following season’s merch, like the vaunted bacon cap that I’m pining for so hard.  So ultimately, it’s really going to be nothing new if and when I get the bacon cap.

Additionally, the existence of the bacon cap makes me feel really resentful towards the Braves, and any other organization that has lame minor league affiliate names.  But none are worse than the Braves, whom literally all but one of their minor league affiliates are all called “Braves.”  Gulf Coast, Danville, Rome, Mississippi, Gwinnett, they’re all “the Braves.”  Same colors, same branding, all boring.  It’s no secret that I favor the Lynchburg Hillcats, and the Myrtle Beach Pelicans that preceded them, because they’re campy and different, the way minor league baseball is supposed to be.

It’s just not fair.  I look forward to getting my eventual bacon cap, and I can already see it ranking within my top-3 minor league cap preferences, but unless the Phillies decide to affiliate with another team, it’s always going to have that bittersweet notion of supporting an enemy.

Parking Wars: Fairfax County

Over the weekend, I was back in my old stomping grounds, visiting my family and some old friends.  That in itself is a whole other story, but one of the things that stuck with me over this last trip was the sheer amount, or lack of parking there seems to be back in ol’ Fairfax County.

Parking has always been an issue up there, with there being vastly way more cars needing to park at places where there is no space, but during this past trip up, it was somehow worse than I’ve ever seen it before.  Granted, in this particular visit, Northern Virginia was still recovering from a lot of snow, with there being monumental banks of snow still unmelted and awaiting a rise in the temperatures for it to fully dissipate, but in so many instances, these giant hills of snow were more or less piled up in parking spaces, curbs, or along sidewalks.  None of this helped the perilous plight of parking, but I can’t imagine that things would be dramatically better if they weren’t around either.

Needless to say, from the time I arrived back in Fairfax County, it didn’t take long for me to see the ridiculousness of how far people went to secure their parking, because there’s frankly so little of it available.

Since my parents split up, family visits are somewhat of a nuisance having to pull double duty, in making separate visits, and staying with each as equally as possible, as to not show favoritism between mother and father.  Getting back to the point at hand though, upon arriving at my mom’s place, aside from the fact that the place had extremely limited parking to begin with, I was informed in advance that there would be a good chance that spots would be taken without them actually being taken.  People were literally putting chairs, whether they were of the tailgate or lawn, and in one case, an actual cheap dinner table chair, in parking spaces.  Apparently, in Northern Virginia, nothing lays legal claim to a parking space as efficiently as a chair.

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Pretty sure I disagree with this phrase

I saw someone wearing this statement on a shirt at the gym.  And I am pretty sure that I disagree with it, completely.

Simply put, in my opinion, I interpret the word “obsession” as having taking sort of enjoyment out of the subject being obsessed over, be it anything like Indian food, the Halo series, making and/or watching cat videos on YouTube, to the morbidly extreme, like disemboweling homeless people, assaulting hookers, or torturing small animals.

To some degree, I do not think there is a particularly positive connotation to the word “obsessed,” and is probably grounds for some concern for me, if it were ever directed at me for any reason.

Contextually, this shirt was for a popular website known for its enthusiasm for weight lifting, and it just so happened that Google image search found this particular image on their servers.  So it was pretty fitting that I saw it at the gym of all places.

Regardless, I go to the gym every single work day, because I am dedicated to a regular exercise routine.  I would by absolutely no means say that I am obsessed with going to the gym, because quite frankly, I don’t necessarily always enjoy working out every single day.  I do it because I am dedicated, not because I’m obsessed.

If I were obsessed with working out, my dong would have a hard time staying in my gym shorts all throughout a workout, because I would be peeing or rubbing my junk on every piece of equipment that I use on a regular basis to attempt to mark my territory and hope that it’s sufficient enough to keep people off of my shit.  I would yell and scream orgasmically when maxing out on anything, and throw my weights down with a psychotic look on my face afterwards and a dark stain on my crotch.

That would be obsessed.

Dedicated is going whether or not you want to go.

When your body is wrecked after doing the Spartan Run on a Saturday and you’re sore all over still on Monday, but you limp down to the gym regardless, because that’s what you’re supposed to do on a Monday, have the most pathetic workout ever, but still show up and do it.  After a four-day weekend of drinking at Dragon*Con, trudge to the gym on Tuesday, and struggle through a session on the treadmill, sweaty and jelly-legged.

And Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

Clearly, this ludicrous phrase was developed by someone with obsessive tendencies.

FTFY:
OBSESSED
is a word the
fearful use to
describe the
OBSESSIVE

Sports befuddle the educational pecking order

I don’t watch a whole lot of ESPN, despite the fact that I fancy myself someone interested in sports, because I think ESPN is basically for the most part utter garbage. But when I’m at the gym, and I’m running on the treadmill, I like to have distractions; I have music playing through my iPhone, but occasionally it helps to have some visual distraction as well. And since all the treadmills come equipped with personal televisions, it’s fairly convenient to seek something to watch to help pass the minutes.

Unfortunately, the gym’s television programming is limited to like nine channels, and at any given time, four of them are Wendy Williams, two are the Kardashian show, the others are chintzy intolerable mid-morning talk programming, and then there’s ESPN. If I’m really lucky, it’ll be a day in which the E! network decides to air old episodes of Saved by the Bell, but for the most part, I end up having ESPN on, because Hannah Storm or Jade McCarthy are easy on the eyes, but then I turn the television off when Stephen A. Smith shows up.

Long story short, I admit that I watch a little bit of ESPN. And in that little bit of ESPN, I’ve noticed something that a lot of other people have probably already noticed long before I did, but whatever, I’m writing about it now.

But apparently in the ranks of college sports that matter, i.e. football and basketball, the greatest things in the world are freshmen. Last year was Johnny Manziel. This year was Jameis Winston. And when the college basketball season started up, ESPN couldn’t wipe the drool from their lips fast enough to blow guys like Jabari Parker, Andrew Wiggins, and whatever other freshly recruited freshmen were already starting for major D-I programs.

This is all fine and fair overall, because extraordinary talent should be playing at appropriate levels, even if it means starting, because a team’s best chance at winning involves playing the right players as much as they can. But it’s getting to a point where hype trains are being created for guys who haven’t even hit age 20, and people like me are beginning to find it kind of odd in a way.

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