Tag: ‘murica

Advent Beer #14: Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee by Schlossbrauerei Herrngiersdorf

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Yup, copy/pasted that, because no way I’m retyping that much Deutsch.

As someone who definitely judges books by their covers, I have to say that this is probably the worst can design I’ve seen over the last two weeks.  I literally got up from writing to go look at the collection of cans that I’ve held onto in the event that I want to take one last parting picture, and yup confirmed, this is the worst, and most boring can design that I’ve come across during this journey.

Two logos, three different accent colors, a fuckton of boring text on white, it literally looks like the design of this can was created in Microsoft Word.

Here’s the thing though; this could be an overblown introduction judging the aesthetics of the can, and then turning it around to where I was blown away by the contents of said can, or the eye test can justify the importance of visuals, and the bier actually is as lame as the design of the can hints that it might be.

In the case of Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvée, which is a mouthful of a name that makes me think this beer thinks it’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man’s name to overwrite her own hence the hyphenated name, the design of the can is more indicative of the quality of the beer than a situation where I shouldn’t be judging books by their covers.

The initial taste is actually pretty decent; it’s light, a touch of hops that makes me wish ‘Murican brewers would stop going so overboard with the hops, so they can continuously make the hoppiest IPA in the country, and it’s got a fairly light and refreshing initial flavor.

But man, I don’t know how to describe the finish, there’s a long lingering aftertaste after the end of every sip that I’m finding rather unpleasant.  I don’t know if it would be considered malty, or what, but it’s that sewer-water flavor at the end that hangs on way too long, to where I found myself taking long pulls and larger gulps, just so I can finish this sooner rather than savor it to enjoy it.

Needless to say, the early flavor is the only thing that keeps this from being the bottom of the barrel for me, but that’s not really saying that much.  It’s definitely one of the lesser quality beers in the collection, but given the fact that this was a beer for a Monday, it seems appropriate that it’s kind of drab.

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  5. Perlenzauber (#9)
  6. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  7. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  8. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  9. Grandl (#11)
  10. Hell (#1)
  11. Tannen Hell (#8)
  12. Tradition (#10)
  13. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  14. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #8: Tannen Hell by Hohenthanner Schlossbrauerei

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I didn’t start drinking until I was 24.  I was admittedly one of those snooty 21-year olds with a stick up my butt that felt that he didn’t really need to drink at all in order to have a good time in life.  Eventually there were some changes in my life, and my sister was one of the people who really told me that I needed to loosen up and simply figure out how to have fun.  And among the changes I tried to make with my life then was that I figured that I should remove the stick out of my butt about drinking and just give it a shot.

So for the next few years I was making up for a lot of lost time, and I was basically trying everything.  Pretty early on, I realized that hard shit wasn’t really for me, wine was only on special occasions, and that when the day was over, beer was probably my jam.  And one of the things I learned early on, was that Asian beers, were pretty tame in terms of ABV, flavor, and other criteria that are popularly utilized to measure a beer.

Well, Tannen Hell, in spite of being a German bier, is basically an Asian beer.  My eyebrow furrowed after I popped the can, gave it a sniff, and poured it into my glass, and it was as bright and clear as lemonade.  Immediately, I began to hypothesize that this was going to be a fairly weak flavor, and it was confirmed seconds later with the first sip.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t terrible.  According to the snobs at BeerAdvocate, it’s classified as a lager, but this is an instance where I’d wonder if there’s some sort of subclass that this could be categorized in instead, because I’ve had my share of lagers, and few of them have been as light-bodied and as tame tasting as this one was.

It almost had like a cherry, fruity note somewhere in the flavoring, but that was about as much flavor as this beer had.  As I said, it was kind of bland, very light, and in spite of the 4.9% ABV, this is one of those times where I call bullshit because it’s almost like the closest thing to a Miller Lite I feel like I’ve had from a brand outside of ‘Murica.

Don’t really have much else to say about this one, and the fact that I’m itching to wrap this up because I have some 90 Day Fiancé to catch up on says everything that really needs to be said about Tannen Hell.  It’s not the worst of the bunch, but barely.

Current Rankings:

  1. First Coral (#2)
  2. Kirta (#5)
  3. Turbo Prop (#6)
  4. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  5. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  6. Hell (#1)
  7. Tannen Hell (#8)
  8. Käuzle (#3)

Talk about missed opportunities

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Reason #786 why it’s stupid to have a season of any sport in the middle of a pandemic: Denver Broncos lose all eligible quarterbacks due to coronavirus prior to game against the Saints

I’m not just saying this just because the Braves didn’t win the World Series, but because it really is stupid and foolish to have professional sports seasons in the middle of a pandemic that’s claimed over a quarter million American lives.  And this past weekend was just more reminders of just how stupid everything sports really are, and how wholly unnecessary they really are in the grand spectrum of trying to live in ‘Murica.

On Saturday alone, regardless of the fact that I don’t really watch much college football much less television in general, I still am curious to see who’s winning and who’s losing on any given day because I’m fascinated with how a ranking system even happens and Ohio State is somehow ranked #4 in the nation despite playing in like, four games total, because of coronavirus and all the cancelled games.  And then in the top-25 filter alone, I see that five games are cancelled/postponed due to coronavirus issues, and I’m left wondering how there’s any sort of credibility at all this season, when just about every team has played an uneven number of games, so I have no earthly idea how there can be any sort of ranking system that doesn’t have more holes in it than Swiss cheese?

I guess it doesn’t really matter though, because when the day is over, it’s still going to be Alabama and Clemson in the playoffs, along with whatever always-runner-ups like Ohio State and Notre Dame to job to Alabama and Notre Dame, setting up yet another Alabama vs. Clemson National Championship.

But then I see this interesting article (above) about how the Denver Broncos have inexplicably lost all three of their main roster quarterbacks due to coronavirus exposure, and my interest is immediately piqued by the idea of wondering what the fuck an actual NFL team would do in the event there were no available QBs.

Obviously, the team would call up whatever scrub they had taking snaps on the practice squad, but I really do feel like the No Fun League really let the Broncos and all sports fans down by shooting down all other potential ideas that were floated around out there, like letting an assistant coach start the game at QB, or my favorite idea of them all, letting linebacker VON “ELWAY” MILLER start the game as QB.

Continue reading “Talk about missed opportunities” →

Few things are as satisfying as watching shitheads turn on each other

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

More specifically: after losing Georgia to Democrats for the first time since Bill Clinton, the baked potato publicly lashes out at Georgia governor Bubba Kemp for not helping him cheat to win, states he is ashamed to have ever endorsed him

Actually the headline is a little inaccurate, as it’s more accurate to say that the baked potato has turned on Bubba, while Bubba, in typical Bubba fashion has cowered completely to his lord king in chief and has gone completely silent in response, like a scared cat that just saw a cucumber.  Just like he went completely quiet after the baked potato publicly lambasted him after “reopening” Georgia way too soon amidst the pandemic, he’s basically in hiding until the heat dies down.

There’s really not much more to say about this, honestly.  Baked potato is just steaming because he lost Georgia, a state that’s historically almost automatically red, and for the first time since I’ve lived here, I can really say that I’m proud to be a Georgia resident. 

I wrote a few more paragraphs but Word shit the bed on me and lost it all, and I have no desire to re-write any of it because it’s about politics and once is too much as it is, so I’ll just leave it at the fact that I love watching shitheads turn on each other, and it’s great to see them flaming each other instead of respectively griefing the state and the country instead.

I need to just not leave my house anymore

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Today, mythical wife and I went out so she could find some holiday decorations for the house.  As it is our child’s first holiday season, she felt it was important that we make the house somewhat festive and relevant to the seasons, and I’m okay with that idea.

While we were driving to our destination, you’d think there was no pandemic still going on, based on just how slam-packed the shopping centers and surrounding streets were.  Parking lots getting backed up, because the access roads were being congested by the volume of cars getting stuck at lights, causing this colossal domino effect of typical traffic that I’m appalled but not surprised is going on given the whole pandemic thing that’s supposed to be encouraging people to be staying home when necessary, but we are in the midst of the holiday shopping season, and coronavirus or no, people are absolutely out and about.

When we got to the store, naturally my daughter shit her pants in the car, as is the usual routine, and it seems apparent that for the first years of her life while she’s still in diapers, that I’ll have to build in an extra ten minutes to any car ride at all, to account for the inevitable deuce that happens like clockwork whenever we go anywhere.

But anyway, when we got to the store, it took all of five seconds of being inside of it, did I spot the first no-maskers milling about, acting like nothing at all was wrong with ‘Murica and the air they breathed was as clean and pure as it probably is at the highest altitudes of the Appalachian trail.  Not long afterward, their shithead sons joined them, also wearing no masks, and the feeling of disgust immediately began bubbling up within me.

And while we were there, this one family was hardly the only cluster of people not wearing masks, and I saw several other individuals and families also shopping sans masks.  The ones that bothered me more than the no-maskers were the people who were wearing masks; around their necks as not on their fucking faces, obviously having said “I wore my mask to avoid scrutiny coming in, but now that I am inside, off with it until I’m reprimanded.”

Continue reading “I need to just not leave my house anymore” →

How easy it can be to forget

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

During lunch, I ran out to run a few errands.  It was a beautiful fall afternoon, and cool enough to where it was appropriate to wear one of the numerous hoodies that I own because I like hoodies.  I drove out of my neighborhood, admiring the beauty of fall leaves and colors everywhere, and the gratification in knowing that my own property no longer needed to be raked anymore, due to my hard work.

I parked my car, and popped the hatch and grabbed the garbage bag full of baby clothes that I was going to drop off at Goodwill.  I was two steps walking towards the building when it hit me that I wasn’t wearing my mask yet.  Annoyed at the brain fart, I set the bag down and quickly retrieved my mask from the driver’s seat console and put it on.

Eight months into the global pandemic, and here I am forgetting to put the mask that all people with a modicum of intelligence and/or courtesy make mandatory of themselves.  It’s like, the day felt so pleasantly ordinary for 30 seconds that I forgot that we’re still in the middle of the aforementioned global pandemic, and the dreadful reality that there’s literally still no end in sight.

Scary how the world can look and feel so ordinary, so back-to-how-life-used-to-be, but still be the arena where an easily-preventable but still devastating disease is always wafting around all over the place, indiscriminately waiting on some idiot with no sense or too much freedom to latch themselves onto, and keep the cycle of spreading alive for yet another victim.

Such a reality check was enough to reel me back from feeling pleased with the weather to feeling the need to be weary about the people around who may or may not be as CDC-compliant as I try to be with myself, and that the world is still a scary fucking place.  It’s scary just how easy it is to forget it sometimes.

New Father Brogging, #026

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Mythical wife and I were playing some games online with our friends because we’re still very much immersed in pandemic ‘Murica and this is how things are done these days in order to be safe, and as we’re in between games, the topic of conversation goes towards what television shows everyone is watching.  Talking about The Mandalorian and Utopia among other shows, and how some of us might like them, or if they’re not any good at all, etc.

But mythical wife and I haven’t really seen or finished any of them, because we don’t have time.  Story of parenthood now.

We then start talking about video games; mythical wife and I just started playing Man of Medan, and gotten maybe three hours into the game, before we realized it was midnight which might as well have been 3 am for new parents like us, but reality sunk in that we weren’t sure when the next time we’d have a chance to play more of the game, because we just don’t have time, the perpetual story of parenthood now.

Even playing Jackbox games with friends for an evening means not having the opportunity to do another thing that we may or may not have wanted to do with what limited free time we have available to us, because as the story of being new parents go, you just don’t have much of it, because the primary meat of our time is spent raising our infant child and putting her needs first and foremost above everything else.

I do not have a single iota of regret for having a child and I love my daughter more than anything else in history, but as the objective of these new dad brogs go, is to express the realities and genuine thoughts that I have going through my own personal journey as a first-time father, and the reality is that I just don’t have a lot of time, like ever, for myself anymore, and that part is something that’s always going to be a tough pill to swallow, especially in conjunction to our lives pre-children, where we’d sometimes have nothing but time to sit around and literally do nothing at times.

Continue reading “New Father Brogging, #026” →