Tag: holidays

Man, What A Stupid Commercial #005

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The story: It’s Christmas Eve, and Santa Claus has a poor, achy back from his arduous job of turning a gigantic crank for apparently all year long, while a workshop full of slave labor elves actually seem like they’re the ones doing all the making of the toys. Addled Santa endures pain while putting on his outfit, delivering toys, and traversing snow-covered rooftops.

In one particular home, a father’s late-night masturbation session is interrupted by Santa’s home invasion, but seeing him in obvious pain, he discreetly slips onto the table the bottle of Aleve® that he was using to help desensitize himself and last longer (paraphrased). Surprised, Santa does not hesitate to wolf down some over-the-counter drugs that some stranger left for him to take, but fortunately his trust is rewarded with fast, effective pain relief.

The commercial ends with Santa back at his sweatshop in the North Pole, and with his back pain numbed, he begins studiously working for next year’s Christmas as the countdown ticker in the background resets to 365 days away.

The takeaway: Santa Claus is now addicted to Aleve pain pills.

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The somewhat obligatory Christmas post

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Another year, another Christmas.  Once again, I stayed home for Christmas this year, and it was nice to stay at home and sleep in, watch Parks and Recreation, eat like crap, stay up late and watch more Parks and Rec, for the better part of a four-day weekend.

I gave some gifts and received some gifts, to which I’m thankful for.

There’s really not a whole lot I have to say about Christmas this year, not that it’s really different from any other Christmas in the past, I suppose.  But for what it’s worth, I hope everyone reading this is enjoying their own holiday seasons, and that their lives are going well enough.  And on that note, I leave you all with pictures of the dog, in his seasonal Santa gear.

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Black Friday has been ruined this year

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m one of those weirdoes that in spite of whatever I may say, occasionally indulge in the insanity known as Black Friday.  Throughout the year, the closer it gets to November and Thanksgiving, I assess things that I either need, want, or both.  Over the last few years, in participating in Black Friday deal-seeking, I have come out with a variety of items, such as an Xbox, a Shop-Vac for my garage, and the stereo system in my bedroom, among various other things.

Whenever I succeed at getting the rare items and the things that I want, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment, victory and smugness.  In the instances that I have failed to get the things that I want, I am upset, disappointed, and swear to never participate in Black Fridays ever again.  But typically, I do.

This year is kind of different, though.  I don’t have a very extensive list of things that I think I want or need; sure there are a few things, but nothing extravagant really, and nothing that seems to be an insanity doorbuster by any means.  I have my televisions, I have an Xbox, I have my gadgets; among the things that usually cause people to trample each other or shoot each other in parking lots, I’ve already got.

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NEVER FORGET

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Except that it’s okay to forget.  Unless you believe that adage of those who forget are condemned to repeat.

Ain’t nothing like extending a birthday weekend than getting a day off due to Confederate Memorial Day. It’s funny, because it’s such an acknowledgment of once such racist beliefs.  Everyone at the office talks about how embarrassing it is that the state still acknowledges it, but I don’t hear anyone complaining about a day off in that dearth period between Moloch Day and Memorial Day that all the other pleebs in the state, and other liberal-minded states don’t get off.

But whatever.  I have today off, and you probably don’t.  Ironically, I’ll still find myself sitting at a computer for a lot of today, before I force myself to get out of the house and go to the store or something, before settling into ME3 time.

Holiday tradition

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Jews have Chinese food on Christmas.  I have Waffle House.

As depressing and desolate as the imagery of Waffle House on a dreary, rainy Christmas afternoon is, believe it or not, it’s one of the things I most looked forward to doing on this day.  Two years in a row now.

I got a Keurig coffee maker today.  I’m on my second cup of coffee now.  Weekends and non-working days will never be the same again, but for the better.  No more no-coffee headaches, as long as I have K-cups.

Merry Christmas, everyone out there.

The greatest currency in the world

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What a great movie.  Raul Julia declaring moon money with his likeness on it as significantly stronger than the British pound, and then fighting with Jean-Claude Van Damme.  And in the end where Sagat steals all these chests of money only to find out that they’re Bison dollars – classic stuff there.

Today, I slept in until 11 a.m. and it felt magnificent.  I guess this is where I should wish people Happy Kwanzaas and all that holiday shit, so there you have it.  Happy Boxing Day, and whatever else is recognized this time of year, seeing as how I have no idea if the compulsion to write will come back with all the off and down time I’m about to have throughout the next week or so.