Tag: branding

The Gwinnett Braves have bad attendance?  YOU DON’T SAY

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

About as easy to predict as rain in Florida – the Gwinnett Braves suffer average attendance drop for the fourth straight year

Sometimes I wonder at what point will people see beyond all the rah-rah rhetoric about how the Atlanta Braves and all their owned affiliates are good for economies, communities and are actually burdens and ballasts to towns that weren’t exactly unanimously ecstatic about their presences?  Will a player have to kill someone?  I mean, Braves players have been busted in various forms of domestic abuse, and nobody seems to sour on the organization.  The organization has fleeced pretty much every small town in which their minor league affiliates exist in, as well as the future home of the big club.  When will people realize that baseball isn’t just America’s Pasttime, but also a cold, calculated, greedy, money-grubbing business that often acts like a leech on the places they invade?

But anyway, about as sure as the sun rises in the morning, the Gwinnett Braves are struggling to draw people to their ballpark.  I mean, who would have thought a minor league ballpark that’s barely 60 miles away from the major league parent, with ticket costs equivalent to major league prices and has a staunch no-outside food policy unlike the parent, would suffer weak attendance numbers?  I mean, who wouldn’t want to see Sean Kazmar instead of Freddie Freeman, or whenever a superstar visiting player like Clayton Kershaw or Andrew McCutchen comes to Turner Field?

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The chork is chucking stupid

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Impetus: Panda Express considers using chorks at their restaurants; in other news, chorks exist, as a bastardized hybrid between a fork and chopsticks

First, chuck Panda Express.  They’re the chucking worst.  How does one describe being the KFC of Chinese food when they’re already on the same echelon of the genre?  I want to say Chinese culinary experts of the past would be rolling in their graves at the idea of fast food Chinese, but there’s a strange cycle of irony that a culture of cheaters, counterfeiters and lacking integrity or respect for copyrights is having their country’s food being bastardized and essentially counterfeited for fat American capitalistic profit.

But the creation of the chork?  I’m chucking chlabbergasted by such an abomination.  They’re basically a shitty fork on one end, and the worst pair of tweezers in the world on the other end, presumably trying poorly to simulate chopsticks.

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The Cleveland Indians’ C logo sucks

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

After several years of being denied methods to visit Cleveland and get the home of the Indians off of my list, this past weekend, I managed to parlay some quality father-and-son into a road trip that finally knocked Cleveland off of the list.  I now have two ballparks left, before I can say that I’ve visited all 30.  But I never would have imagined that Cleveland was going to give me this much trouble.

One of these days, I’ll have a ballpark site again, much less my entire fucking brog, and when that eventually happens, then maybe I’ll get the opportunity to write about the ballpark itself.  But for now, the ballpark is not the topic; it’s the team that plays in said ballpark, and their stupid fucking identity.

The Cleveland Indians’ primary emblem is now the letter C.  Literally, the letter C.  And nothing else.  (Mostly) Gone is Chief Wahoo, and even the singular letter I in the stylized script.  Because Indians.  Because “Indians” is perceived as racist, insensitive and ignorant, or any other popular rhetoric used to describe the blatant and inflammatory discrimination.

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Probably profit from confusion

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Long story short: Coca-Cola experiencing boost in sales on light and zero-calorie soda in international markets after rolling out new can design for Coke products

My knee-jerk hypothesis is that people see all the red that saturates like 82% of these cans that they don’t realize that they’re purchasing Coke Light (Diet Coke) or Coke Zero until it’s too late, and since merchants typically don’t accept returns on opened containers, they’re just kind of boned and have to deal with it.

Maybe that was Coke’s plan all along.

Who really knows what Coke’s plan ultimately is.  There are those who think regular Coke is the devil because they’re solely counting calories.  And then there are those who think Diet and Zero are the devil because of sodium and aspartame.  This new experimental branding that has only been seen in Spain, Mexico and various parts of Europe seems to accomplishing this confusing effect that still retains each brand’s parent colors, but puts a massive Coke-red blob on all the cans.

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HP’s new logo is stupid

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Short story shorter: Hewlett-Packard introduces new logo which will start being on display with HP’s Spectre laptop series.

Here’s the thing, once you know that it’s by HP, it’s easier to visually identify the H and the P, because your brain is basically filling in the gaps for you.  But if you didn’t know that this was HP for Hewlett-Packard, then who’s to say that it’s an H and a P?  It could be a lower-case B, followed by a P, or even a lower-case B, followed by a lower-case R?

Or who says they’re even letters at all?  It’s almost like a hand-symbol like the shocker.  Or maybe it’s claw marks or something, for a company that takes its namesake from a ferocious animal?

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Furiously excited for more Fast logos

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Among some of my guiltiest of guilty pleasures is my general love for The Fast and the Furious film franchise. I mean, when I was a wannabe car tuner who thought everything JDM was god-like, and wanted to do a laundry list of things to the cars that I’ve driven, I watched the first film with that “it’s going to suck, but I’m going to watch it, so I can criticize everything wrong with it,” oblivious to the irony that I was forking over my money to feed the machine regardless.

Eventually, the arrogance and false sense of superiority dissipated AKA I began to grow up, and it turned out that I actually enjoyed these terrible films. Yes, I enjoy them, but there’s little denying the fact that they’re really campy, over-the-top films. My mom would watch it and call it an “엉터리 movie,” which translated literally means “nonsense.” Whatever though, I still enjoy them, and I can admit that I have seen every single one.

Needless to say, I was amused by the announcement by Vin Diesel who used social media to drop the news that not only is the FF franchise continuing for an eighth installment, but there are plans to have a ninth, and a tenth installment of the story, so that the franchise can literally boast ten films in twenty years. Also amusing are their tentative April release dates, so I can probably pull out the birthday card and force mythical girlfriend to go see them with me. hue hue.

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It’s still going to remain Murder Kroger

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Long story short: Kroger on Ponce de Leon AKA “Murder Kroger,” to undergo massive teardown and reconstruction as fancy-schmancy office building.

The biggest flaw of this whole idea is the fact that a Kroger is going to be re-built into this supposed mixed-use office/commercial space.  If Kroger just sold the property, and closed up shop, would it really only be feasible for the Murder Kroger moniker to really die (no pun intended); and even then only the most grasping and dedicated folks would continue to refer to the property as something that doesn’t exist there anymore.

But keeping a Kroger on the patch of land known as Murder Kroger only solidifies the fact that it will remain being called Murder Kroger, no matter how modern, how chic and how new and clean the eventual new mixed-use space will be.  The city can put the nicest, most cleanest and shiny new businesses in the heart of Ponce, but it doesn’t change the people that go to it.  Without fail, hipsters will shop at the new Kroger, still making sure to remind their friends that this is still Murder Kroger.

The funny thing is that even after the reconstruction of the place, all it’s going to take is one more killing in the parking lot, to remind everyone that it’s still Murder Kroger, no matter what manner the environment actually looks.  And given the fact that there’s been four deaths in the past 25 years in this one parking lot, it’s only a matter of time until another unfortunate demise occurs there again, irregardless of its surroundings.