Tag: dad

Dad Brog #087: Don’t look now, my daughter’s a model

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Available nationwide: Baby Girls’ Peach Dress with Hat by Carters just one you®, at Target

Just like that, #2 has earned her first real paycheck before hitting ten months old.  High expectation Asian dad is satisfied by this development.

For reals though, I’m over the moon by this, as is mythical wife.  Obviously biased, we’re always going to think that our daughters are the most beautiful children on the planet, but it’s nice and validating to know that corporate America also favors them in the eye test to the degree where they can be legitimate models for baby clothes.

It also helps that Carters corporate is based out of Atlanta, so we residents of the metro area have the luxury of basically getting first dibs at any of the calls they make out for model talent.  And mythical wife, ever the eye for opportunities like this, always threw our kids’ names into the hat, and it just so happens that we finally got one of them into a little bit of national spotlight, with a genuine featuring at Target.

#2 was picked for a camera test, then the subsequent fitting, and then actually picked for formal shooting, and we knew it was only a matter of time before we’d eventually see her out in the wild.  The thing is that they don’t tell you when and if they’re going to use what photos, and companies like Carters and Target hoard assets for years sometimes, so the question was just how soon, if at all, were we going to see our daughter in advertising?

Fortunately, it wasn’t that long, which is what mythical wife was suspecting, since she had a better understanding of what outfit to expect to see, since she was there for the shooting.  And just like that, #2 graces the Target brand, representing their own collaboration with Carters, and people all over can actually see my child on a national level.

And lest I overlook my eldest child, #1 was actually a Carters baby as well during her first year.  Picked for a camera test as well as a fitting, unfortunately she decided to have a meltdown during the fitting, and proceeded no further than that, but for all intents and purposes, she too, was a formally selected Carters baby as well.  And most importantly, she still got a paycheck for her troubles too.

I couldn’t be prouder of both my beautiful kids, and hopefully this won’t be the last time they see the spotlight.  But even if it is, I can still have the privilege to say that my kids have done a little bit of modeling in their lives.

Dad Brog #086: The perils of private in-home childcare

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Due to the never-ending pandemic that we live in, I’ve had a private nanny since #1 was eight months old.  Frankly, sending my immunocompromised first child to regular daycare among children whose individual household dynamics were mysteries to us was out of the question, so the only option that my household was left with in order to have childcare while mythical wife and I worked our respective jobs, was to hire a nanny.

For the duration of a single-child household, it worked out great; one nanny with one child is pretty easy-peasy as far as the circumstances are considered.  I could focus on my job, which was really helpful as it was deteriorating pretty rapidly throughout the start of the pandemic.

But then #2 came into the picture and things became a little more chaotic, as to no surprise, when the ratio of children balances away from 1:1, anyone’s attention becomes harder to divert between multiple children, and it’s just harder in general.  I often times was away from my keys in order to help out the nanny, and it was always a balancing act to make sure that double duty was as minimal as possible, which is a little ironic considering just how often I am on double duty on a regular basis but I am their biological father so why wouldn’t I be?

Eventually, things ceased to work out with my original nanny, and they did leave us high and dry at a very inconvenient and critical point.  Fortunately, we were able to bounce back fairly quickly and find another nanny to come in and take over, which brings us to current times that are somewhat more stable and if anything at all, I’m just glad that my kids have someone reliable to take care of them while I’m working.

However, to the point of this particular dad brog post, as nice as it is to have in-home care, and the peace of mind at knowing that my kids aren’t picking up every variant of coronavirus while at daycare and bringing it home, it’s not entirely perfect either.  Namely, the part where if a private nanny calls in sick or is ever out for any particular reason, I’m the one who is getting boned and has to eat the time off work in order to cover.  Mythical wife being a teacher and all, and teachers having extremely rigid and inflexible workdays, she can’t exactly turn on a dime and come home to take care of the kids at a moment’s notice, so that responsibility falls onto me.

I’m not going to sugar coat it either, it sucks.  Royally.  Every time that either of my nannies have called in sick, I’ve been the one who has had to take it on the chin and tell my jobs that I have to in turn bone my work, to where I’m either burning PTO, or I’m being a complete flake with my work, and then working in the evening to make up for the not working during the day.

The worst part is that as I’ve alluded to in the past, my kids are getting sick every month this year regardless of the fact that I have in-home care.  I go to the office a few days a week, mythical wife works at a school surrounded by children whom we have no idea if their parents are vaccinated or not, and 2022 seems to be the year where all the colds, flus and other sicknesses that were avoided in 2020-2021 are coming back with a vengeance.

At this point, I’m kind of over the lack of accountability and being the only one punished when my childcare goes down, that I’m leaning towards sending my kids off to daycare.  They’re getting sick all the same now, that I may as well start trying to get my children socialized and used to other human beings so they’re not complete social invalids growing up.  If I’m already paying daycare prices for private care, I might as well be able to not have to destroy myself whenever something comes up.

I love having personalized childcare, but I’m disliking just a little bit more, the repercussions of when said childcare calls out sick.  My work struggles, and as important as my kids are, I still need to have my job in order to support my family, and seeing as how I’m still within my first year, I don’t want to develop a reputation of being the guy that’s unreliable and constantly using his kids as the excuse.

Dad Brog (#085): Let the scapegoating begin

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The bubbling in the tub didn’t even finish before #1 boisterously proclaimed that #2 farted.  The thing is though, #2 was not the one who had farted in the tub, it was most definitely #1. 

Mythical wife and I cracked up because farts are fucking hilarious.

However, it wasn’t just because of that, but also because this was not the first time that this had happened, where #1 had flagrantly thrown her little sister under the bus.  The first time was a funny anomaly, but it happening again appears to be the start of a pattern: the classic tactic of blaming your sibling.

For now, it’s just farting, but who knows what #2 will get blamed for in coming days, weeks, months and years.  The most fascinating thing about it is how organic and how completely unprovoked and untrained in which this happened.  We’re still at the stage of parenting where just about everything is okay and is teachable, and isn’t necessarily a bad behavior in which #1 should feel embarrassed or feel the need to pawn off on her little sister, but she’s decided to do it anyway.

Otherwise, my kids are the joy of my life, and absolutely nothing in the world brings me more happiness than seeing how much my daughters love each other.  Even if #1 has decided to use her little sister as a scapegoat now, and I’ll probably have sisters declare Mortal Kombat on each other at some points in their lives, for the time being, seeing the pure, tender and wholesome love between the sisters are the best parts of any given day. 

But how fast those tables turn once #1 rips a fart and decides that #2 is the guilty party.

Mark this as one of the brog posts that I hope one day my children will read and then cringe and bemoan the fact that this is an embarrassing story about them.

Dad Brog (#084): My health isn’t just my health anymore

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

For the last two weeks, I’ve had a dreadful cough. It started with sneezing, and then my chest filled with gunk, and since then it’s been a tremendous amount of coughing, scratchy throat, and then more coughing.  At certain times and conditions worse than others, but a noticeable amount of coughing going on.

I chalked it up to a seasonal allergy, since I am susceptible to pollen, and this year’s jizzing by Mother Nature has been particularly bad.  Mythical wife has been tired of hearing me coughing, and suggested I go to a doctor, just to get an antibiotic or something to help rush this shit along.  But being of the typical male who generally avoids going to see doctors, I didn’t, chalking it up to being on the mend and that the phlegm just needs to work itself through my system.

Today, #2 was diagnosed with strep throat.  She hasn’t shown any coughing, sneezing or any of the other typical strep symptoms, but she’s been incredibly fussy and was already headed to the doc for her 9-month checkup.  There, it was noticed her throat was a little red and after a quick test, yep it’s strep.

Now the obvious culprit is that her lousy dad might have had strep and didn’t know it was strep because he didn’t have anything other than a nagging cough, and I still don’t know if it’s strep or not.  But the point remains that the very likely source of my daughter’s sickness is the person I see in the mirror and having a coming to Jesus moment that I really should be taking care of myself better if not just for myself, but for the sake of others, namely my own family and kids.

You’d think after two-plus years of being in a pandemic I would have figured that out already, but 40 years of life haven’t really made it sink in until I really jeopardized the wellbeing of one of the most important lives in my world.  Regardless of if I am the reason is irrelevant, just the possibility that it could’ve been me is enough of a wake up call to where I need to get my head out of my ass and just fucking do better.

It’s things like these that are the most obvious but most invaluable lessons to be learned about parenting, as well as life in general if you have other people in your life. It’s just a shame that I have to feel like a fucking failure in order for it to sink in, but I guess in a Fight Club fashion, it isn’t until you hit bottom that you’re free to do anything, like learn something important.

Dad Brog (#083): My child is like the IRS

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

#2 has entered the stage in life in which we have introduced solid foods into her diet, and are easing her into the world of food that’s available to the world.  We’re trying to expose her to a wide gamut of flavors and all the food groups, as well as testing for allergies and sensitivities and hoping that she’ll not have all of dad’s dietary weaknesses like her big sister has inherited (lactose, eggs).

As hoped, it is going as well as it did with my first child, and #2 is eating most things without that much difficulty.  She’s clearly not a fan of tart and sour flavors, hopefully this will pass, but anything with a degree of tart to its flavor profile hasn’t gone over as well as some of the other things. 

One critical win that we seemed to have gotten is that she doesn’t seem to be as nearly sensitive to eggs like her sister is, or her dad is.  With bated breath, we’ve given her egg whites to which she’s been able to digest and not result in projectile vomit and diarrhea, but I did notice that she did get a little bit of skin issues where the egg might have touched around her mouth.

But overall though, so far so good.

You’d think though, with as many calories and solid food that she’s consuming, and increasing on a gradual basis, the need for mother’s milk would dwindle, right?  Prior to solid foods, she was consuming nearly 30 ounces of breast milk a day which is roughly around 600 calories.  Now that we’ve introduced solids, we’re not micromanaging her exact caloric intake, but she’s probably getting close to 400 calories a day on solids alone, independent of milk consumption.

Sure, growing babies need to eat to grow, but mythical wife and I thought that her need for milk would take a step back with those calories perhaps being replaced by actual solid food.

NOPE.

#2 is still slamming 30 oz of milk a day, and by god almighty if she doesn’t get her 30 oz of milk by the day’s end, it is absolute hell for us to pay, by virtue of repeatedly waking up and screaming bloody murder until the milk debt of the day is paid.

Like today, she’s eaten a pancake, a slice of turkey, cheddar, grapes, grilled chicken and various fruits.  More than she’s eaten in previous days.  As the day was winding down, the milk count on the day was closer to 15 oz than it was 30, but her temperament hadn’t really been altered, and she was in pretty good spirits throughout her awake time.

At the time I’m writing this, she’s woken up three times, and has not gone back down without another bottle.  Just like that, she’s back up to 27 oz, and she’ll be ripe and ready for her 30 by the time we do our final nightcap bottle.

So basically, she’s like the IRS when she doesn’t get her 30 oz on the day.  She will go to the ends of the earth to make your life hell and basically hold you and your time hostage until the milk debts are paid off.

Car conundrum

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Recently, I took my car to the dealership to have some maintenance done. Prior to my appointment, I got a message asking if I wanted to get an appraisal done on my car towards a possible trade in.  Considering I’ve already been thinking about a larger car since two kids have already made my current one feel like a Ford Festiva sometimes, I figured why not?  I was already going to be waiting there so there was no harm in seeing what my current value was.

Especially right now, where the car market is as volatile as the housing market and there’s been lots of speak about how used cars were supposedly netting way more than people were owing on them.  I’d gotten emails and snail mail over the recent months claiming that my car would be worth well over $20,000 which was amusing to me considering I still owed around $13.5 on it. 

I figured such estimates were bullshit and that there was no way my car would fetch that much once I were to get it officially appraised.

Well turns out that it’s not that much bullshit, because the dealership estimated my car at $24,000 to trade in.  It’s a 2019 with under 20,000 miles and in fantastic condition because I take care of my shit and the pandemic really prevented me from doing any real hardcore driving.

So, despite me not being that serious about switching cars just yet, these kinds of numbers make it very interesting towards the possibility of doing so now.

I get that the car market is similar to the housing market right now and I read the news too; I’m aware that the car business has been hit with staggering inflation right now and that cars effectively have become haggle-proof.  The demand for cars versus inventory means that if someone tries to be cute and haggle too much, the dealerships can pass and someone will purchase it for less trouble.

In “normal” circumstances, I would look in two years when my car were to be paid off, and I’d hope to appraise for like $4,000 and then haggle the shit out of 2-3 dealerships before hoping to get $4,000 down from a not-so inflated sticker price.

However in two years, my kids will be older and probably be in command of a whole lot more shit than they have now and I could already be too late in needing bigger then; especially when I have the opportunity now to potentially upsize and be ready for the future.

So what I’m looking at right now, is the opportunity to have nearly 8-9k in equity to put towards a new car, which is more than I’ve ever put down in the past.  Sure, it restarts my clock of payments back to the start for the next 60-72 months but frankly car payments are about as certain as death and taxes, and it’s really the exception to be without them.

I’ve been casually looking at numbers and basically $8-9k towards an inflated sticker price still seems like a more attractive option than waiting for then car market and it’s potential trade market to cool and hope to look for a bargain and that my car doesn’t appraise for peanuts in two years.

Currently, I could flip my $30k car and aim for a $40k+ car but only needing to finance like $35k~.  I feel like there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to do such if I were to wait.

However on the flip side, I’m concerned about the future of gas prices considering how easy it is for the price at the pump to flip on a whim, and mythical wife and I have had discussions about the disadvantages of owning a car that isn’t gas powered.

And that’s where I am now. Leaning hard towards capitalizing on my car’s current trade-in value and upsizing to a more famiry-friendly dadmobile, but hesitating on what exactly to change to.

Waiting and standing pat doesn’t seem as appealing because my car now already feels too small and capitalizing while the market is volatile seems like a good idea. I just don’t want to make a rash choice that I might regret, but time doesn’t exactly feel like it’s on my side.

Getting an appraisal was clearly a mistake, lol

Dad Brog (#082): will life ever ease up?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Most of my adult life, I’ve always kind of had a list to guide my general objectives. Get a good stable job. Unload the old house. Find a girl to date. To marry. To have children with. Get a new home. Leave toxic job, find better one.

Obviously, things change, life changes as does the general list. But the things on said list are pretty broad and pretty concrete things when they are checked off, with the thought being with the more things checked off, the more complete and presumably easier things get with life in general.

Well, over the last few years I’ve accomplished a large bit of my broad list.  I unloaded my old house. I found a new one. I got a good stable job that became toxic, and I left it and found a better one. And I met a girl, married her, and had kids.  For the most part, I’ve succeeded in checking off all of the big ticket items on the list, so the rhetorical question is, why is life still so fucking difficult and when will it ever ease up?

Obviously, children are the easiest thing to cite as why things are difficult, which isn’t inaccurate, but lately it feels like shit is happening in a way that feels like a competitive video game that allows a losing party suddenly get lucky, score easier, and catch back up, except in my case it’s like nothing is allowed to go smoothly for too long before shit starts happening that has me back in na position of wanting to rip my hair out and scream sometimes.

Recently, my nanny has basically inexplicably left us, currently indefinitely, since they haven’t reached out since calling out.  I won’t go into specifics, but the result of it is basically fucking me because mythical wife can’t take any time off because teachers get dick for privileges as such, so the burden falls on me, to stay home, skirt my job responsibilities and wrangle two babies all day long.

Mind you, I’m still new at my job, and I’m concerned, if it’s not already manifested, I’m going to have the reputation of being that headcase worker who’s high maintenance on account of their children.  Pre-kids I loathed people who did it at prior places I worked, but I’m basically becoming that person when my paid help flakes on me.  Plus, I don’t exactly have the formal PTO accrued, so I’m instead trying my best to pretend to work while watching the girls, and I’m extremely lucky to have colleagues with children who can empathize and understand and give me more leeway than my old C of a boss did.

This isn’t to say I have no empathy for what the nanny is going through, but there’s a finite ceiling I have for the circumstances that they’re citing.  I’m upset and disappointed for a variety of reasons, but more for ones beyond the, I have to take time from my job and looks like an asshole to my team.  All the same, I’m in a position where I can’t operate in the unknown, and might have to start looking for a plan B, in a highly, highly nanny’s market.

Oh, also it appears that #2 is at yet another sleep regression, according to mythical wife.  Except that she’s sucked at sleep since her arrival, so it’s hard to tell when things are at a regression, or if we’re just back to the usual routine of nightly she won’t sleep routine bullshit.

It’s classic fallacy of thinking things will get better, but we’re back to the point where we spend so much time just trying and praying and hoping she’ll go down that by the time we get anywhere it’s like 9 pm, way later than I want to eat dinner, and I still have a fuckton of daily chores and cleaning that has to get done that I get no fucking help with ever.

List or no list, this is life at its most classic. Nothing is ever allowed to be easy, and just when things look like they might be easing up, shit just happens that ratchets the difficulty back to fuck you mode, and I’m in a position where I can’t really do anything about it but make agitated dad brogs.